Girlfriend told me she likes to feel small.

My girlfriend told me this yesterday after I asked why she likes me picking her up. And look I understand this - I think even extremely muscular women have this desire and that's why they date bigger men. Now I'm a fairly big guy ~6'0 195 and I love bodybuilding myself so I'm pretty lean and have been lifting consistently for about 10 years now so I'm on average more muscular than even most female bodybuilding divisions. Even in the past I've dated a bodybuilder, a muscular track athlete and hooked up with a couple of bodybuilders that have commented on my body. But my girlfriend now (although extremely conventionally attractive, skinny but very little muscle) doesn't lift at all. And with someone like that I think the comment feels different. Interested in how others have thought through this.

Yea its common but not all women are like that

I think that's just how most straight women are wired. There are some exceptions, a few women here and there whose partners happen to not be remarkably big, but those are rare. Most muscular women prefer having a partner who is a lot bigger or stronger than them.

I remember watching a vid of Jen Thompson benching her husband and one of the comments said something like "haha I bet you outbench your husband" and she was like "nope, he benches way more than me". From what I remember her husband didn't look like a big guy, so I was a bit surprised by her comment. You should know that Jen Thompson holds the world record for her weight category; she benches 320 lbs (145 kg) @ 150 lbs (68 kg).

While there are of course women out there who prefer being smaller than their male partner, I believe that the reason that a good number of female bodybuilders end up with male bodybuilders is due to the practicalities behind the environment that they are mostly in. Bodybuilding takes up a ton of time and if you are competitive, it very well becomes your identity. Since bodybuilders are always at the gym, and since non-bodybuilders don't understand how strict the lifestyle can be, it's no surprise that the majority of their friends and romantic partners are also bodybuilders.

Hell, I have seen threads on subreddits and fitness boards from women asking for advice about being on a prep with a non-bodybuilding significant other and it's common to talk about how challenging it is. They NEVER mention a lack of attraction or things like "it's weird that I am muscular and he isn't!" and instead talk about schedules, how hard it is to go out on date nights, and how much of a strict routine that they have to follow.

But in conclusion, not all women have a want to be smaller than their male partner. Hell, from many strength athletes that I personally know (I mean in person through me being in the strength community,) many of them have told me they had no qualms about being bigger or stronger. Rather, they want someone who is also fit and dedicated at the gym, or at least understanding of the lifestyle.

I agree with what's being said. Women are not a monolith, but a lot of women are wired that way even the bodybuilders. Bodybuilders that are indifferent still will want someone associated with the lifestyle. I can say that from experience - The bodybuilder I dated we genuinely connected over the lifestyle which makes sense.

What was notable to me maybe was this time around with someone that doesn't lift is that desire to be small probably being one of the main reasons she doesn't lift at all. I'm also not the limiter because she could reach her natural limit or even an enhanced limit and I'd still be bigger than her. I'm okay with it but it was interesting to hear considering I've always just assumed it and never heard it expressed out loud by any of my partners. Especially the few I've had without high muscularity.