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Yea it kind of sucks but you need to keep in mind that most men can't get their dream wife. even those who are not into muscles will not get what they want. i am not sure what kind of stuff you like but i like things like headscissors and other forms of femdom and any woman can do that just not as well as a muscular one. and once your wife knows what you like the sex will be way better than with random women even if they look way better.
Honestly, take in any woman that shows you love and trust. You will value those when you are old. You can always convince her to train, and seeing her develop muscles would be a sensual experience for both of you. However, I think your problem is that you won't train yourself. If you expect your love to have a habit, you better entertain it yourself at least a little bit so that you share connection. Step 1 is to stop being scared or resistant and just go to the gym and train. You might meet someone.
Ugh none of you listened at all. I would resent them, like really resent. Ive tried it. I would know its second best and so would they. Not even that, third best.
It's hard when only .0001% of the world's women are attractive to you. Good luck.
Thanks that was super fucking helpful.
And people here have muscular wives and gf. How is that fair some of us have to settle?
This life really is shit. How people believe in some kind of just god is a joke
Thanks that was super fucking helpful.
And people here have muscular wives and gf. How is that fair some of us have to settle?
This life really is shit. How people believe in some kind of just god is a joke
I’m going to be very direct, because this last comment makes the core issue clearer.
What’s hurting you most right now isn’t attraction, it’s comparison and a sense of cosmic unfairness. When you say “how is it fair that some people get this and others have to settle”, you’re treating relationships like prizes that are supposed to be distributed evenly. But that’s not how life works, and it never has been, not with love, not with health, not with mental illness, not with anything that actually matters.
People who have muscular partners didn’t “get what they were owed”. They met someone, at a certain time, under certain conditions, and it worked. There’s no moral balance sheet behind it. The real problem is that you’ve decided there is exactly one outcome that makes your life valid, and everything else counts as humiliation. In that framework, the world will always feel unfair, because reality doesn’t guarantee anyone their ideal scenario.
And no, this isn’t about “settling” versus “winning”. A real relationship isn’t a downgrade from a fantasy: it’s a completely different category. Calling it “settling” already means you’re comparing reality to something that was never a real person to begin with. The anger you’re feeling makes sense if you believe life owes you a specific compensation for your suffering, but that belief is also what’s crushing you. As long as your worth depends on getting the same outcome you see other people having, you’ll never stop bleeding from comparison.
Life is unfair, but turning that unfairness into proof that your existence doesn’t count is a conclusion you’re drawing, not a fact of the universe. Right now, it sounds less like you’re angry at "normal women", "muscular women" or God, and more like you’re exhausted from carrying a story where you only get to live if reality finally apologizes to you.
brah the thing is, with that mindset it wont get better at all. you really shouldnt make your life dependent on this issue, it is really solveable. life is so much more than getting a girlfriend brah.
and to be very "harsh" the only real option is to workout yourself. you say you tried but "it wasnt for you" i dont believe you. working out and getting the hang of it takes time. and you will see improvements fast if you stick to it. thing is i dont even enjoy working out everytime, it really is a chore but thats exactly the point of it, to push through even if you hate it. this will make you stronger on the inside and more attractive too.
and also, you cannot expect some random women to just like you, especially when they workout 5-6 times a week; it is only natural for them to want a partner that has that same mindset or discipline.
about money, some women care, some really dont. this will not be a big issue if you simply ignore the money hungry ones.
take care brah.
I don't know OP's situation but I've observed a lot of the most vocally frustrated schmoes fail at the most basic human responsibility: to take care of yourself. If you think FBBs are rare, which they are, the number of them who'd enter a relationship with a self-loathing slob is only scarcer from there. Physical and mental health are inextricably linked. Lift weights, eat clean, and watch the victim mentality vanish in due time. Also, the confidence and mental health you'll gain from that kind of lifestyle will make you organically more attractive to women, muscular and petite alike. If you look good, you'll feel good; and if you feel good, you'll exude charisma. Get to that point, then simply go to shows, socialize (with everyone: men, women, bartenders, staff, etc.), and just simply don't be a creep. I've said different versions of exactly this in several threads at this point.
I’m going to be very direct, because this last comment makes the core issue clearer.
What’s hurting you most right now isn’t attraction, it’s comparison and a sense of cosmic unfairness. When you say “how is it fair that some people get this and others have to settle”, you’re treating relationships like prizes that are supposed to be distributed evenly. But that’s not how life works, and it never has been, not with love, not with health, not with mental illness, not with anything that actually matters.
People who have muscular partners didn’t “get what they were owed”. They met someone, at a certain time, under certain conditions, and it worked. There’s no moral balance sheet behind it. The real problem is that you’ve decided there is exactly one outcome that makes your life valid, and everything else counts as humiliation. In that framework, the world will always feel unfair, because reality doesn’t guarantee anyone their ideal scenario.
And no, this isn’t about “settling” versus “winning”. A real relationship isn’t a downgrade from a fantasy: it’s a completely different category. Calling it “settling” already means you’re comparing reality to something that was never a real person to begin with. The anger you’re feeling makes sense if you believe life owes you a specific compensation for your suffering, but that belief is also what’s crushing you. As long as your worth depends on getting the same outcome you see other people having, you’ll never stop bleeding from comparison.
Life is unfair, but turning that unfairness into proof that your existence doesn’t count is a conclusion you’re drawing, not a fact of the universe. Right now, it sounds less like you’re angry at "normal women", "muscular women" or God, and more like you’re exhausted from carrying a story where you only get to live if reality finally apologizes to you.
Wow. This should be a sticky somewhere. Bravo.
I’m going to be very direct, because this last comment makes the core issue clearer.
What’s hurting you most right now isn’t attraction, it’s comparison and a sense of cosmic unfairness. When you say “how is it fair that some people get this and others have to settle”, you’re treating relationships like prizes that are supposed to be distributed evenly. But that’s not how life works, and it never has been, not with love, not with health, not with mental illness, not with anything that actually matters.
People who have muscular partners didn’t “get what they were owed”. They met someone, at a certain time, under certain conditions, and it worked. There’s no moral balance sheet behind it. The real problem is that you’ve decided there is exactly one outcome that makes your life valid, and everything else counts as humiliation. In that framework, the world will always feel unfair, because reality doesn’t guarantee anyone their ideal scenario.
And no, this isn’t about “settling” versus “winning”. A real relationship isn’t a downgrade from a fantasy: it’s a completely different category. Calling it “settling” already means you’re comparing reality to something that was never a real person to begin with. The anger you’re feeling makes sense if you believe life owes you a specific compensation for your suffering, but that belief is also what’s crushing you. As long as your worth depends on getting the same outcome you see other people having, you’ll never stop bleeding from comparison.
Life is unfair, but turning that unfairness into proof that your existence doesn’t count is a conclusion you’re drawing, not a fact of the universe. Right now, it sounds less like you’re angry at "normal women", "muscular women" or God, and more like you’re exhausted from carrying a story where you only get to live if reality finally apologizes to you.
I totally agree with this. Nobody in this world is truly special and life is often unfair. The best thing that you and anyone else can do is love and appreciate their blessings, the people in their lives and themselves. The universe does not owe anyone anything. Ultimately, while I do have empathy for you as someone who also struggles with dating women that don't have any muscle, that's not a good way to think about things. You'll never be satisfied with life or yourself if you feel like this is what you need to achieve happiness. I promise you, it won't bring it in the long term. Everything you do is ultimately a choice, if you want to meet muscular women then make that a reality by joining a gym. I tried to give the gym a year myself and it's not something that I have any interest in. Unless you randomly run into a female bodybuilder, You got to put in the effort to also shows some level of enthusiasm for the gym.
You're going to have to hit the weights hard if you want to meet a muscular woman. Having the same lifestyle is incredibly important when choosing a spouse or even girlfriend. That's a fact in any hobby or habit. Or get wealthy so that you can buy a gym and financially sponsor muscular women who come there to lift.
Good luck
Hey mate, you don't want to be muscular but you want a muscular lady. Let's be really honest, buff girls like buff guys. End of story.
Get stuck in. Lift. Eat better. Join a lifting focused gym, take up a martial art, and become the man who attracts a GWM.
Stop ranting on here. It won't help. Do the changes IRL and reap the benefits.
💪💃😎❤️
I think the biggest issue with OP is that you’re trying to start a relationship based on physical appearance. I’ve got bad news for you. No matter who you choose to spend the rest of your life with, they’re going to look different in 20 years. Like whatever you like physically, but recognize that it’s a fleeting thing. Being in the mindset that you need to find a girl who checks all your boxes physically, is probably the worst way to find a relationship.
I think the biggest issue with OP is that you’re trying to start a relationship based on physical appearance. I’ve got bad news for you. No matter who you choose to spend the rest of your life with, they’re going to look different in 20 years. Like whatever you like physically, but recognize that it’s a fleeting thing. Being in the mindset that you need to find a girl who checks all your boxes physically, is probably the worst way to find a relationship.
Excellent points. My only question is what the OP wants in a 'relationship'?
Excellent points. My only question is what the OP wants in a 'relationship'?
Why cant I have both personality and looks? People here do.
And yes it is cosmically unfair. Id go as far to say life is absolute bullshit.
I honestly feel I might commit suicide because its fucking just a shit world. And a lot of muscular women are stuck u
I’m going to be very direct, because this last comment makes the core issue clearer.
What’s hurting you most right now isn’t attraction, it’s comparison and a sense of cosmic unfairness. When you say “how is it fair that some people get this and others have to settle”, you’re treating relationships like prizes that are supposed to be distributed evenly. But that’s not how life works, and it never has been, not with love, not with health, not with mental illness, not with anything that actually matters.
People who have muscular partners didn’t “get what they were owed”. They met someone, at a certain time, under certain conditions, and it worked. There’s no moral balance sheet behind it. The real problem is that you’ve decided there is exactly one outcome that makes your life valid, and everything else counts as humiliation. In that framework, the world will always feel unfair, because reality doesn’t guarantee anyone their ideal scenario.
And no, this isn’t about “settling” versus “winning”. A real relationship isn’t a downgrade from a fantasy: it’s a completely different category. Calling it “settling” already means you’re comparing reality to something that was never a real person to begin with. The anger you’re feeling makes sense if you believe life owes you a specific compensation for your suffering, but that belief is also what’s crushing you. As long as your worth depends on getting the same outcome you see other people having, you’ll never stop bleeding from comparison.
Life is unfair, but turning that unfairness into proof that your existence doesn’t count is a conclusion you’re drawing, not a fact of the universe. Right now, it sounds less like you’re angry at "normal women", "muscular women" or God, and more like you’re exhausted from carrying a story where you only get to live if reality finally apologizes to you.
I definitely would be angry at god if i thought one existed, they would owe me and everyone like me or struggling an apology because this is the best he could do with infinite poserL this shit unjust world? It doesnt speak very highly of a gods competence does it.
And a normal woman from muscular is definitely a HUGE step down. I couldnt help resent them and maybe even taking it out on them verbally. Im not proud of it but sometimes when im feeling shit after having been ignored yet again by muscular women i reach out to, i find random normal womens social media pages and berate them for not being muscular. I let them know they arent as good. Usually these are normal women who i see commenting on muscular womens pages admiring them. I point out they should be more like them and i cant help it. Its the only thing that lets me take out my frustration and it does feel good for a while. I feel bad later on though. I just resent it so much that these are normal women when strong women should be the standard not the exception.
I cant help be angry and frustrated because it shouldnt be this way. Life really is shit, im just not delusional about it. Some people have great luck, some have none.
Whats the point of living just to suffer all the time? I am tired. One way or another it has to end soon
If you dont lift or do something seriously related to fitness your chances of finding a muscular girlfriend are very close to 0. Given how bad you feel right now you got nothing to lose but trying. Lift sole weight take peds even and maybe you will be able to meet your muscular girlfriend. Dont forget they re still women and go so much in lifting because they also have some issues like body image issues trust issues etc
If you dont lift or do something seriously related to fitness your chances of finding a muscular girlfriend are very close to 0. Given how bad you feel right now you got nothing to lose but trying. Lift sole weight take peds even and maybe you will be able to meet your muscular girlfriend. Dont forget they re still women and go so much in lifting because they also have some issues like body image issues trust issues etc
But I dont want to look like that. Thats the point. And theres no way I would want to maintain it. Lifting is so boring to me
Bro, you're shit of luck.
Either learn to like the gym, or learn to like ordinary-built girls.
Life aint fair. But it's a damn sight better than being dead, so stop with the unalive talk.
Go lift.
Bro, you're shit of luck.
Either learn to like the gym, or learn to like ordinary-built girls.
Life aint fair. But it's a damn sight better than being dead, so stop with the unalive talk.
Go lift.
Says who?
Maybe being dead is a lot more peaceful. I sure hope so.
Thats more of an option than becoming muscular too.
So there is a way out. Its one I have been considering for a while. So maybe I dont have luck but I dont need to take it much more either.
This idea life is so great and special is just nonsense. Its good if you have a good life, its worthless if you dont.
Sorry for the interruption, but working with relationships and systems, I can’t help noticing a very clear dynamic playing out here. I’m not responding to OP, but to what this thread is doing as a system.
A cycle has formed and keeps repeating itself: OP expresses despair → the group responds with norms and prescriptions (“go lift”, “same lifestyle”, “settle”) → OP refuses those norms → the group tightens the frame → OP escalates to existential exit → the group tries to shut that down to restore order.
At that point, the conversation is no longer about understanding or helping, it just becomes about enforcing a worldview where discipline, bodily adaptation, and personal optimization are the only acceptable answers to suffering. In some answers refusing the gym is treated as a moral failure; from OP side, introducing suicide talk becomes “noise” that must be silenced rather than engaged.
From a relational systems perspective, this escalation creates a problem for the group itself, because once “exit” is placed on the table, every possible response destabilizes the entire frame: – if people say “don’t say that”, the group must now carry responsibility – if people say “do what you want”, they appear cruel – if people “ignore it”, they admit impotence – if moderation intervenes, exclusion is confirmed
Because none of these options allows the system to return to normal discussion, what usually follows is not elaboration but containment: moralistic shutdowns (“life is precious”), repetition of the same prescriptions, silence, or moderation. These are all ways to manage tension, not to process meaning.
You don’t have to agree to see this, because once the mechanism is named, it becomes hard to unsee: this thread is no longer dialogue, it’s escalation management. Advice turns into ritual, and people disappear behind the role they are playing in the system.
That’s all: just my observation of what is happening right here, right now.
You are an idiot.
Women don't avoid you because you've an ordinary build.
They avoid you because you're a fing victim.
If I get kicked out for saying this so be it.
You come across like a bitter, lonely, woefully unhappy loser.
That's why girls run from you.
I'd wish you good luck, but you make your own luck...and your luck fucked off decades ago buddy.
Have a shit day bro. That's what you want to bring to our GWM community, so F off.
Oh wow I openly say Im all of that and your excellent analysis confirms it! Great reading skills buddy.
i dont want you kicked out so its not me going to ask for it, your opinions dont matter that much.
I bet you are as big a loser as me you just wont admit it. I bet you married and settled for some plain jane and think you are winning at life lol.
So now you can shut the fuck up.
I realise no one here will probably care but I need to vent and I guess Idk this community, some might understand. Maybe not but either way i need To say it.
Im 42, m, uk, and loving muscular women is the bane of my life. Ive never had a relationship because i just am not attracted to non muscular women. When ive tried, to force myself to try and date non muscular, i always felt bitter and resentful. I dont understand how guys can be with normal women while liking muscular women knowing their partner could never excite them as much. I felt like I was using them as a placeholder and i didnt want to use someone just not to be lonely. What makes it worse is i also have a lot of other issues .I have depression since I was 14, and I have a learning disability similar to autism so i tend to not read people well and come off as somewhat weird . I try to be honest and open but well people dont tend to respond well.
And its so hard to find or meet a muscular woman. So hard. Even now when it seems more women are lifting than ever. It feels impossible. None exist in person for me so i try to find people online. They all only care if a man is muscular or rich. I understand that but it sucks. I dont want to be muscular myself especially. I struggle enough with life so i couldnt maintain it even if i did want to be. And everyone today cares about money except me i think. All i ever wanted in life was a woman who loved me and who i loved. But i couldnt be with someone normal, it made me resentful when i tried. I couldnt accept second best. I just couldnt. It made me so so miserable compromising.
I got so desperate i even tried to know people on paysites which i hate. I disliked myself for being so desperate. It wasnt fun or cute i felt like i was doing what i never wanted to do and paying for something not real so i cut that out fast.
Im dying to meet a muscular woman but it seems as time goes on its not going to happen and i feel more depressed, lonely and miserable..
I know you can say get hobbies, self improve, etc. i have hobbies i love but thats not enough. ive done EVERYTHING within reason. Ive been in and out of therapy my whole life. Im on meds after trying many of those available. I even tried gym to get muscular but i just couldnt, my heart wasnt in it. I dont know what to do. If im being honest i consider suicide a lot because i feel so lonely and theres no cure for that . I come close more every day. People say get help but how can you do that! When you tried everything. No therapist or doctor can force muscular women to date you (nor would i want that even if it was possible, it has to be real or its meaningless). The only ones that can help me dont even talk to me or respond. So i dont know what to do.
I dont know if ill post long or even again. Im struggling with life so badly. But i needed to tell people who might kind of understand, or maybe you wont. Most of you probably wont give a shit. Ive tried so hard. I feel like my life is coming to an end . I dont know. I keep trying to hope that things will change but they dont. Mental illness is such a bitch.
Thanks for reading at least.