Rant. Loving muscular women is ruining my life

How do we expect to find and hook up with a muscular woman? That they will ring your doorbell and exclaim "Here I am!"? If one is not willing to do one single thing to improve the odds of dating a muscle girl, the result of that equation is sadly quite obvious.

By the way, going to the gym will not make you a muscle hulk, no worries there. It will however improve a hundred other aspects of life, even if it is "boring".

If I stay at home watching muscle p0rn instead of spending an hour at the gym I at least know that is a choice I have made. And that it drastically reduced my chances at a muscle hookup.

Youre a lost cause by the way youre responding to some well written insights.. its almost laughable, but more so just sad to read. Reconsider your values, brother, dont let lust and obsession control you. Life isnt fair, but dont fall into a victim mentality, you have a great deal of power to change your life in a positive way, youre just not able to because you would rather complain while focusing how someone has better than you.

I realise no one here will probably care but I need to vent and I guess Idk this community, some might understand. Maybe not but either way i need To say it.

Im 42, m, uk, and loving muscular women is the bane of my life. Ive never had a relationship because i just am not attracted to non muscular women. When ive tried, to force myself to try and date non muscular, i always felt bitter and resentful. I dont understand how guys can be with normal women while liking muscular women knowing their partner could never excite them as much. I felt like I was using them as a placeholder and i didnt want to use someone just not to be lonely. What makes it worse is i also have a lot of other issues .I have depression since I was 14, and I have a learning disability similar to autism so i tend to not read people well and come off as somewhat weird . I try to be honest and open but well people dont tend to respond well.

And its so hard to find or meet a muscular woman. So hard. Even now when it seems more women are lifting than ever. It feels impossible. None exist in person for me so i try to find people online. They all only care if a man is muscular or rich. I understand that but it sucks. I dont want to be muscular myself especially. I struggle enough with life so i couldnt maintain it even if i did want to be. And everyone today cares about money except me i think. All i ever wanted in life was a woman who loved me and who i loved. But i couldnt be with someone normal, it made me resentful when i tried. I couldnt accept second best. I just couldnt. It made me so so miserable compromising.

I got so desperate i even tried to know people on paysites which i hate. I disliked myself for being so desperate. It wasnt fun or cute i felt like i was doing what i never wanted to do and paying for something not real so i cut that out fast.

Im dying to meet a muscular woman but it seems as time goes on its not going to happen and i feel more depressed, lonely and miserable..

I know you can say get hobbies, self improve, etc. i have hobbies i love but thats not enough. ive done EVERYTHING within reason. Ive been in and out of therapy my whole life. Im on meds after trying many of those available. I even tried gym to get muscular but i just couldnt, my heart wasnt in it. I dont know what to do. If im being honest i consider suicide a lot because i feel so lonely and theres no cure for that . I come close more every day. People say get help but how can you do that! When you tried everything. No therapist or doctor can force muscular women to date you (nor would i want that even if it was possible, it has to be real or its meaningless). The only ones that can help me dont even talk to me or respond. So i dont know what to do.

I dont know if ill post long or even again. Im struggling with life so badly. But i needed to tell people who might kind of understand, or maybe you wont. Most of you probably wont give a shit. Ive tried so hard. I feel like my life is coming to an end . I dont know. I keep trying to hope that things will change but they dont. Mental illness is such a bitch.

Thanks for reading at least.

Hey bud, I'm guessing you're the guy who messaged me on instagram last week. Just to be clear, My DMs are always open if you're struggling.

You come across like a bitter, lonely, woefully unhappy loser.

That's why girls run from you.

Hi, I agree, complaining won't help him, but it would be nice to help instead of constantly insulting him. For example, how do you meet women/muscular women yourself? Where do you meet them and how do you approach them? Have you ever dated Gym Girls yourself? And If so how many dates do you have per month?

holy fuck what is this cuckery soy mindset 😹

If there are two things that female bodybuilders find devastatingly attractive, it's a disgustingly unhealthy lifestyle and a tearful victim mindset.

Thread has outlived its purpose because OP knows what the right thing to do is but simply doesn't want to do them. Sad for a grown man.

Lift weights and go socialize or GTFO.

Hey, I am not going to be rude to you, because lord knows, most of us are in a similar boat or ought to be able to sympathize with you at the very least.

You are better off than I was at your age and before, because back then there were almost no women going to the gym, and even fewer who cottoned to the idea of getting strong. (As late as the 1990's I was coaching a coed track team, and I had talented girls who naturally had muscles refuse to go to the weight room, because they were already too buff.) It seems to have become more prevalent these days, (I have never seen so many posts of high school girls who can bench 225, which would have been an impressive lift for a guy in a standard workout gym thirty years ago.) but a large majority of the women who participate in strength training and the like are doing it for reasons that may not give you hope.

1) More and more, they are doing it for themselves as a source of empowerment, which is exactly what a lot of men have traditionally gotten out of it. They focus on self improvement, health, etc.

2) A significant, and growing it seems, number are attracted to other women, and they do it to attract those women, or they get attracted to other women at the gym.

3) Many actually get started in the activity because their husbands do it, and they want to have similar hobbies and habits.

Of these three groups, the only group available to you is a small number of people in group one, but in order to meet them, you need to be involved in the same activity. Most of this group is independent minded, but they have become incredibly good at setting goals, and organizing their food intake, sleep habits, and so forth. I know, from seeing their posts, most of that group want nothing to do with people who aren't interested in the same things, and you can't blame them. Most of them are not interested in going to the Pub or taking time off from their grind.

On the other hand, developing the habit of going to the gym and learning how to improve your fitness can be a fun challenge. You don't have to set your goals on becoming the next Arnold Schwartzeneggar, but you might enjoy setting goals of improving your performance in some of the lifts or on some of the machines.

Lift weights and go socialize or GTFO.

Shut the fuck up.

Hey bud, I'm guessing you're the guy who messaged me on instagram last week. Just to be clear, My DMs are always open if you're struggling.

Idk what any guy can do to help me. Dont suppose you know any muscular women I could talk to? Lol. I appreciate it. But im always struggling and i dont See how a guy can help me . I appreciate it though. But its probably too late for me. This site was just a last burst of anger for me cause im ready to be done with this life

Youre a lost cause by the way youre responding to some well written insights.. its almost laughable, but more so just sad to read. Reconsider your values, brother, dont let lust and obsession control you. Life isnt fair, but dont fall into a victim mentality, you have a great deal of power to change your life in a positive way, youre just not able to because you would rather complain while focusing how someone has better than you.

Im not here because any of you can help me, youre probably like me and most of you wont ever have a muscular woman either. Im just here to vent. Nothing youve said or any of you have said is anything new. You assume things, like I havent tried. I. Have gone from 133kg to 114. And guess what? It hasnt made a fucking bit of difference. Not one. I dont feel better mentally. Working out is boring as fuck. Everyone said youll feel better blah blah blah and it didnt work. So what now?

Women in the photos here also don't exist in real life. You will only find them for a few days a year in contest shape. Bodybuilding is an illusion.

We're a pretty open community and if you post stuff here, there are lots of experience people who can give you suggestions on rant/problems we have possibly heard before.

Mod note: don't post here and then attack people for the answers you get. We expect a discussion with respectful disagreement, not a fight. If you think a reply crosses he line, report it to the mods and we will look into it.

> Thanks that was super fucking helpful. > > And people here have muscular wives and gf. How is that fair some of us have to settle? > > This life really is shit. How people believe in some kind of just god is a joke

I’m going to be very direct, because this last comment makes the core issue clearer.

What’s hurting you most right now isn’t attraction, it’s comparison and a sense of cosmic unfairness. When you say “how is it fair that some people get this and others have to settle”, you’re treating relationships like prizes that are supposed to be distributed evenly. But that’s not how life works, and it never has been, not with love, not with health, not with mental illness, not with anything that actually matters.

People who have muscular partners didn’t “get what they were owed”. They met someone, at a certain time, under certain conditions, and it worked. There’s no moral balance sheet behind it. The real problem is that you’ve decided there is exactly one outcome that makes your life valid, and everything else counts as humiliation. In that framework, the world will always feel unfair, because reality doesn’t guarantee anyone their ideal scenario.

And no, this isn’t about “settling” versus “winning”. A real relationship isn’t a downgrade from a fantasy: it’s a completely different category. Calling it “settling” already means you’re comparing reality to something that was never a real person to begin with. The anger you’re feeling makes sense if you believe life owes you a specific compensation for your suffering, but that belief is also what’s crushing you. As long as your worth depends on getting the same outcome you see other people having, you’ll never stop bleeding from comparison.

Life is unfair, but turning that unfairness into proof that your existence doesn’t count is a conclusion you’re drawing, not a fact of the universe. Right now, it sounds less like you’re angry at "normal women", "muscular women" or God, and more like you’re exhausted from carrying a story where you only get to live if reality finally apologizes to you.

The only thing i could add to this, i hope its helpful, i think you have tied up the idea of a life partner with the personification of all your fantasies and this is an imposible problem. Of course attraction in a relationship is very important, i´ve dated and slept with women of very different shapes and loved them all, in my free time i find myself fantasizing with muscular women almost exclusively but i know its a shallow fantasy. You have build a rigid model for your ideal partner and you are hoping the exact woman manifests in your life, and this taints every person who you might encounter. And you need to consider that this person might have an ideal man in mind too, and who knows what it is. I know its hard to consider, but i think the more you feed the fantasy the more it might isolate you from the world, and in isolation it grows stronger, it´s a bit of a downward spiral. Also phisical attraction changes, novelty is very important here, my ideal woman has changed a lot in my life, all of them perfect in their own way, it would be ridiculous to expect that a person turns into another every time my ideals changed. Keep a dosis of fantasy in your life (its fun) but don´t let it control you, try to be more social, get out more, really get to know more people, they might not be Vladislava Galagan or Ida Bergfoth, but they might be super fun, loving or really crazy in bed and you might find things you didn´t know you wanted. Give life a chance to surprise you. I know life has been hard for you and i´m sorry, hope things get better.

I realise no one here will probably care but I need to vent and I guess Idk this community, some might understand. Maybe not but either way i need To say it.

Im 42, m, uk, and loving muscular women is the bane of my life. Ive never had a relationship because i just am not attracted to non muscular women. When ive tried, to force myself to try and date non muscular, i always felt bitter and resentful. I dont understand how guys can be with normal women while liking muscular women knowing their partner could never excite them as much. I felt like I was using them as a placeholder and i didnt want to use someone just not to be lonely. What makes it worse is i also have a lot of other issues .I have depression since I was 14, and I have a learning disability similar to autism so i tend to not read people well and come off as somewhat weird . I try to be honest and open but well people dont tend to respond well.

And its so hard to find or meet a muscular woman. So hard. Even now when it seems more women are lifting than ever. It feels impossible. None exist in person for me so i try to find people online. They all only care if a man is muscular or rich. I understand that but it sucks. I dont want to be muscular myself especially. I struggle enough with life so i couldnt maintain it even if i did want to be. And everyone today cares about money except me i think. All i ever wanted in life was a woman who loved me and who i loved. But i couldnt be with someone normal, it made me resentful when i tried. I couldnt accept second best. I just couldnt. It made me so so miserable compromising.

I got so desperate i even tried to know people on paysites which i hate. I disliked myself for being so desperate. It wasnt fun or cute i felt like i was doing what i never wanted to do and paying for something not real so i cut that out fast.

Im dying to meet a muscular woman but it seems as time goes on its not going to happen and i feel more depressed, lonely and miserable..

I know you can say get hobbies, self improve, etc. i have hobbies i love but thats not enough. ive done EVERYTHING within reason. Ive been in and out of therapy my whole life. Im on meds after trying many of those available. I even tried gym to get muscular but i just couldnt, my heart wasnt in it. I dont know what to do. If im being honest i consider suicide a lot because i feel so lonely and theres no cure for that . I come close more every day. People say get help but how can you do that! When you tried everything. No therapist or doctor can force muscular women to date you (nor would i want that even if it was possible, it has to be real or its meaningless). The only ones that can help me dont even talk to me or respond. So i dont know what to do.

I dont know if ill post long or even again. Im struggling with life so badly. But i needed to tell people who might kind of understand, or maybe you wont. Most of you probably wont give a shit. Ive tried so hard. I feel like my life is coming to an end . I dont know. I keep trying to hope that things will change but they dont. Mental illness is such a bitch.

Thanks for reading at least.

I'm going to get right to the point. The women aren't your problem. The problem you have, just like so many of us, is a lack of self control. I suspect you are sexually attracted to these women. (I know I am) What you must realize is that muscular women are muscular because they have developed outstanding discipline and self control. They don't usually want a man who lacks discipline and self control. I also suspect that you have a certain fear of what others (perhaps friends or family members) will think of you if they knew you had a fetish for muscular women. If that fear controls you, then you will live in a prison cell of misery.

I am going to leave you with an invaluable principle I learned: if you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

Best wishes!

the op is just a troll or so crazy even if a real fbb who is into weaker men shows up to his house he will be too unbearable

The only thing i could add to this, i hope its helpful, i think you have tied up the idea of a life partner with the personification of all your fantasies and this is an imposible problem. Of course attraction in a relationship is very important, i´ve dated and slept with women of very different shapes and loved them all, in my free time i find myself fantasizing with muscular women almost exclusively but i know its a shallow fantasy. You have build a rigid model for your ideal partner and you are hoping the exact woman manifests in your life, and this taints every person who you might encounter. And you need to consider that this person might have an ideal man in mind too, and who knows what it is. I know its hard to consider, but i think the more you feed the fantasy the more it might isolate you from the world, and in isolation it grows stronger, it´s a bit of a downward spiral. Also phisical attraction changes, novelty is very important here, my ideal woman has changed a lot in my life, all of them perfect in their own way, it would be ridiculous to expect that a person turns into another every time my ideals changed. Keep a dosis of fantasy in your life (its fun) but don´t let it control you, try to be more social, get out more, really get to know more people, they might not be Vladislava Galagan or Ida Bergfoth, but they might be super fun, loving or really crazy in bed and you might find things you didn´t know you wanted. Give life a chance to surprise you. I know life has been hard for you and i´m sorry, hope things get better.

If they dont look like ida or vladislava they are straight inferior. And i hate people. I fucking hate them. And i resent strong women arent normal. We have fucking skinnynand fat women all over the place though, dime a dozen. Whats special about that? Absolutely nothing. I would rather be dead than settle for that.

Life isnt getting better at all. It hasnt in 42 years. Why would it now? Thats just some bullshit people say when they have nothing else to offer.

Mate, I don’t think this is really about muscular women. I'd say it’s about not feeling happy or settled in yourself right now.

I get why you’re focusing on the idea of a certain type of girlfriend. When you're in a bad headspace, it’s natural to think that one external thing might fix it. A muscular girlfriend, or any “ideal” version of a partner isn’t the answer to deeper stuff. I've been there.

I say that because I’ve been properly at rock bottom. In 2016 I lost my job, my marriage, my house, and custody of my son within a few months. My whole identity disappeared almost overnight, and I was left in a life I didn’t recognise or want. It was brutal. At that point, all I really had was my physical health and a couple of solid friends. I narrowed my focus to the things I could actually control: food, sleep, training, showing up for myself in small ways. Slowly, things shifted. I got work again, somewhere to live, and after about a year I felt steady enough to date. I met a beautiful girl I genuinely clicked with. Because I was already into the gym, she got into it too and ended up getting jacked (see photos I've posted before). But she also struggled badly with depression, and training became a way of trying to outrun it rather than deal with it. It taught me a big lesson, that how someone looks, or how impressive a relationship seems from the outside, doesn’t tell you whether it’s healthy or fulfilling.

The big difference for me wasn’t the relationship, it was doing the work on myself first. Once that foundation was there, the rest followed more naturally. I’m not telling you what to do. When something isn’t working, there are really only two paths: staying angry at the world, or changing something within your control. Neither is easy, but one gives you a chance to move forward.

Mate, I don’t think this is really about muscular women. I'd say it’s about not feeling happy or settled in yourself right now.

I get why you’re focusing on the idea of a certain type of girlfriend. When you're in a bad headspace, it’s natural to think that one external thing might fix it. A muscular girlfriend, or any “ideal” version of a partner isn’t the answer to deeper stuff. I've been there.

I say that because I’ve been properly at rock bottom. In 2016 I lost my job, my marriage, my house, and custody of my son within a few months. My whole identity disappeared almost overnight, and I was left in a life I didn’t recognise or want. It was brutal. At that point, all I really had was my physical health and a couple of solid friends. I narrowed my focus to the things I could actually control: food, sleep, training, showing up for myself in small ways. Slowly, things shifted. I got work again, somewhere to live, and after about a year I felt steady enough to date. I met someone I genuinely clicked with. Because I was already into the gym, she got into it too and ended up getting jacked. But she also struggled badly with depression, and training became a way of trying to outrun it rather than deal with it. It taught me a big lesson, that how someone looks, or how impressive a relationship seems from the outside, doesn’t tell you whether it’s healthy or fulfilling.

The big difference for me wasn’t the relationship, it was doing the work on myself first. Once that foundation was there, the rest followed more naturally. I’m not telling you what to do. When something isn’t working, there are really only two paths: staying angry at the world, or changing something within your control. Neither is easy, but one gives you a chance to move forward.

I now think he's just trolling. Or he needs serious. long term mental health help.

lmao

You're going to have to hit the weights hard if you want to meet a muscular woman. Having the same lifestyle is incredibly important when choosing a spouse or even girlfriend. That's a fact in any hobby or habit. Or get wealthy so that you can buy a gym and financially sponsor muscular women who come there to lift.

Good luck

Exactly. That helped me meet some top fbbs and have them take me seriously which is rare in some cases. I even was asked out by them a couple of times. You have to look like you work out or have some money. They prefer both. A broke bodybuilder does nothing for them unless he supplies their PEDS and pays. Money is not worth it to spend it on a woman who's only condition for liking you is your money. There is lots of that all over the world.

I'm glad for my depression that i"ve ckeck gwm forum at 4 am. I"m saving it just for sheer amount and quality of advices.

“If they dont look like ida or vladislava they are straight inferior. And i hate people. I fucking hate them. And i resent strong women arent normal. We have fucking skinnynand fat women all over the place though, dime a dozen. Whats special about that? Absolutely nothing. I would rather be dead than settle for that.” ~OP

Try grindr if you love muscles that much… fuck mate. Being that shallow won’t get you anywhere. I don’t know your life but how you whine and point fingers shows you’ve never been at rock bottom or seemingly want to improve your situation. Maybe this a cry for help, if so talk to a therapist or someone you trust.

If I were you I would take an extended break from your muscle lust, it’s clearly scrambled your thought process and view of reality. Real life Women aren’t objects and if you continue looking at them as such, they will keep seeing you as a sad sheepish weirdo. Each day alive is a damn gift, you need to change your mindset & your life will change for the better, I promise. Take care of yourself mate, no one is going to save you. It’s up to you. That’s life.

Fear can hold you prisoner, but hope will set you free. Hope to improve.

I've read all posts here. And I'd say that I am now more or less like op, just other way around. I think that I don't deserve anything. Nothing in life is given but very fragile (I lost my brother in 2024 quite a fresh thing I struggle to process with my 2 braincells) I have therapist who not yet gave up on me. I am not muscular at all as well but I like muscular women too. However - i just don't think anybody owe me anything for my struggles in life. I lowered my expectations to women and I want someone who would accept me and vice versa, and the rest of love chemistry could lead me and my girlfriend to gym where both could get strong, I wouldn't mind if my lazyness could be reduced by that :D

I don't believe in anything though (remember - low expectations) I'm 30 and living with my parents after all. I'm glad I did get anything "from life". When I consider suicide i think: "why not to live and ckeck what will happen tomorrow? It feels like a gamble doing same thing every day..." It's stupid but still not as stupid as ending it all just because you can't get GF your fetishes tell you to get... I have fetishes too, shitty self control as well, but somehow I just don't buying that I should get conpensated for my shitty environment I have been raised in.

I know I shouldn't tell that but... My problem is that I know that good, nice, pretty, adoring-worthy things in life REQUIRE work yet - I'm stuck in a misery loop and doing... Not much with it...

Married, 45. Wife is skinny and soft. Love me a roided out chick, but I find my wife so attractive. Gotta take a broad stroke to life

I am 30 and despite the lack of a powerful woman in my life i am just happy to live in a world were i get to worry about such luxurious issues. and that i am smart enough to not worry about it.

OP what would be enough muscle to make you happy? What other aspects could a woman bring to the table that would lower that amount of muscle?

See where i wanna go with that?

If you only care for a specific little part in such a complex organism as an human what does that say about you? If there is only your lust for muscle in your head and heart, your life surely has to be miserable!

Other things have value too!

Made your fetish make you feel somewhat special?

Let me tell you something about these woman! I met like 20 of them for sessions in my life. They were some of the weirdest humans i got to know. And none of all these women could have been reduced on only their muscles! Not perfect at all and only comfortable to life with if your a proBB yourself!

My girlfriend on the other hand doesnt lift. Is the most amazing and humble person at the same time, i got to know. Full of love for me and the world!

I lived every dream i ever had with these fbbs, but not one session was as exciting as my life is with this amazing "normal" woman.

You think that its settling for less than ideal. With such a mindstet you have long given up on every magic in life and just hitting it for dopamin...

Get yourself interested in other things than muscles and maybe your life will get more dimensions than just this fucking one thing

You can sure ride the kali yuga But dont expect to find magic in life with that worldview!!