Forum
>
General / Nonfiction
>
Thread
Log in |
Register
yea i understand this i heard of a lot of horror stories were women get aggressive when they think you are sexualising them .most won't especially in a situation like this were its expected .but i still remember back when i was 14 and i was staring at a woman at the pool for a little too long and her 20 something year old boyfriend wanted to kill me. so now i will always be careful and try to act more prudish .
This is a question for those of you who have regularly attended competitions. I have attended them twice in my life (2019 and 2023). Both times I went alone (I do fitness alone at home and don't really have friends that are into fitness).
The first time (2019) I got some selfies with some insta models that I follow (I was super chuffed) as well as some nice stage shots. All these photos have a more journal entry vibe than for any other purpose honestly.
This year when i attended i couldn't bring myself to ask for a selfie from anyone. I every time they looked at me (as opposed to everyone else getting photos) I get paranoid that they think I am a creep (mind you I really clean up and dress well for these occasions. Plus I work out, and am fairly athletic).
Anyway, I just can't even bring myself to ask for a photo or even start a conversation with any of these women. I feel like an absolute creep and I really don't want to bother them.
I will say that being in the presence of these women was nothing short of magical. In all my 36 years these are the only two times I have ever seen a muscular woman in person. But I feel like my presence at these things is more akin to a pest (as much as I am polite and keep to myself).
I swear I have no issue talking to people (men, women, gorgeous models too). It's easy for me to strike up conversation (my job kind of involves it). But with muscular women I just get consumed with anxiety.
Does or did anyone here feel the same? And if so, how did you get over it?
I think it's great that you take care of your body and that you're self-aware. You lack a certain confidence and have anxiety about that, but at least you know this about yourself. You often make the choice to save potential embarrassment by not engaging with strangers. Even though you are saying this applies to only a certain type of stranger, the behavior itself is not unusual. I don't have hard data available, but I'm willing to bet this has happened to at least 90% of all men in the Western world.
It's not true in every case, but a high percentage of people will respond favorably to a polite greeting. Timing is key, though. If she's surrounded by what appears to be family, keep it moving. If it seems she and a boyfriend/spouse-looking person are making lunch plans, maybe wait for another opening. If she's moving quickly toward the restroom, leave her alone.
Learning to read the room is an invaluable skill that will improve your overall confidence.
I’ve never been to a competition but read about them here and elsewhere. After the show, the competitors are milling about the area for different reasons than you are. Very likely they want to meet friends, partners, sponsors, photographers and anyone who could help them make $$$. The “fan” is hoping to meet them because they are enamored by female muscles. So, the fan is already on thin ice upon any initial contact. Even if you are buff, good looking and seemingly not awkward, the fan will be viewed with suspicious intentions. The most you can hope for is a brief and polite acknowledgment.
This is really ringing some bells for me. I've been there a bunch of times. First off hats off to you for attending competitions. It helps support the sport. It seems like you have approach anxiety. The pick up industry has made a mint off of it. I spent a LONG time in that phase because I didn't want to bother the girls or be a pest etc. That's why your question seems so familiar. Please remember this: Women are social creatures, if you're up front with an introduction and say you're a fan of the sport as an opener you'll be ok. If you're humming and hawing and keep eyeing them nervously they'll sense blood in the water.
I've been to a few contests and if the FBB after the show isn't talking to anybody they'll usually give you a few moments.
You say you speak to a lot of people. Use the skills you've got, they'll carry you through.
This is a question for those of you who have regularly attended competitions. I have attended them twice in my life (2019 and 2023). Both times I went alone (I do fitness alone at home and don't really have friends that are into fitness).
The first time (2019) I got some selfies with some insta models that I follow (I was super chuffed) as well as some nice stage shots. All these photos have a more journal entry vibe than for any other purpose honestly.
This year when i attended i couldn't bring myself to ask for a selfie from anyone. I every time they looked at me (as opposed to everyone else getting photos) I get paranoid that they think I am a creep (mind you I really clean up and dress well for these occasions. Plus I work out, and am fairly athletic).
Anyway, I just can't even bring myself to ask for a photo or even start a conversation with any of these women. I feel like an absolute creep and I really don't want to bother them.
I will say that being in the presence of these women was nothing short of magical. In all my 36 years these are the only two times I have ever seen a muscular woman in person. But I feel like my presence at these things is more akin to a pest (as much as I am polite and keep to myself).
I swear I have no issue talking to people (men, women, gorgeous models too). It's easy for me to strike up conversation (my job kind of involves it). But with muscular women I just get consumed with anxiety.
Does or did anyone here feel the same? And if so, how did you get over it?
I lot of muscular women have had to deal with schmoes at some point in their lives, whether that be online, in-person or both. That said, it's actually pretty easy to talk with them because the bar is practically set on the ground. So long as you don't wear your fetish on your sleeve and ask schmoey questions, you'll do fine talking to them. Like everyone else has said, treat them like actual people (because they are,) be polite, don't be a creep, and you'll go a long way towards having positive interactions with them.
Something else that hasn't been pointed out yet, though, is that I recommend even talking to men there. Sometimes, it's a bit obvious to see someone who only talks to the women, but if you're friendly with everybody regardless of gender, that makes a good impression on you, especially to the women.
This is a question for those of you who have regularly attended competitions. I have attended them twice in my life (2019 and 2023). Both times I went alone (I do fitness alone at home and don't really have friends that are into fitness).
The first time (2019) I got some selfies with some insta models that I follow (I was super chuffed) as well as some nice stage shots. All these photos have a more journal entry vibe than for any other purpose honestly.
This year when i attended i couldn't bring myself to ask for a selfie from anyone. I every time they looked at me (as opposed to everyone else getting photos) I get paranoid that they think I am a creep (mind you I really clean up and dress well for these occasions. Plus I work out, and am fairly athletic).
Anyway, I just can't even bring myself to ask for a photo or even start a conversation with any of these women. I feel like an absolute creep and I really don't want to bother them.
I will say that being in the presence of these women was nothing short of magical. In all my 36 years these are the only two times I have ever seen a muscular woman in person. But I feel like my presence at these things is more akin to a pest (as much as I am polite and keep to myself).
I swear I have no issue talking to people (men, women, gorgeous models too). It's easy for me to strike up conversation (my job kind of involves it). But with muscular women I just get consumed with anxiety.
Does or did anyone here feel the same? And if so, how did you get over it?