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Me: Hitting her would be a terrible idea.
Clown: But what if he shot her? Would you show him sympathy?
You're quoting what I said, that he's a victim by choice, so I assume you're partly referring to me. But then you're subscribing me to something I obviously wouldn't support. I have never shown Sally any sympathy. But if I don't support this guy striking her, I don't know how we've gotten to a discussion about shooting someone. It doesn't make any sense.
Jesus Christ, don't flatter yourself.
I think it's quite simple. You should not hit your partner and the guy is either so in love with her he is trying to stick it out (which is dangerous) or he's just trying to document enough evidence so when he needs to leave her, he can have the legal backing to keep her away. She's wrong for this and this guy better run for the hills.
How about you just don't date someone you want to punch? I understand violence in a family. I got spanked by both my parents (dad's belt and mom's spoon), and I'm in my 20s so it wasn't ancient history. But that was between parent and child, not partner and partner. Whether or not a man has a right to hit back glides past the question of "why are you idiots hitting each other?"