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The problem of the muscular women

Jun 07, 2022 - permalink

hi everybody

So I have this thing I wanted to talk about. I love muscular women like everybody here, but don't you hate how much muscular women make the other women pale in comparison?

I am talking here about appearance, which of course is not everything in a person, but is the easiest thing to notice.

Take one woman at random, if she's healthy and in my age range I will maybe consider her as "attractive". I am a man and I like women.

But the problem is the comparison. If you put a regular woman I would find attractive next to a similar one that shows visible muscles, it's not a contest for me. I only think about the second one. And then the feelings for the first one are ruined.

I love muscular women but they are so few and they make it so hard to enjoy all the other women out there.

I know, I'm a superficial guy, anybody have this problem?

Jun 07, 2022 - permalink

Yea i still find normal women attractive but muscular women are on another level but they are also so rare i will never date one

it took me until age 26 until i even catched a glimpse of one but she was too focused on jogging and probably already had a boyfriend

and if you want to date a woman you actually need to know her relatively well so it's almost impossible to find a muscular woman who wants to be my girlfriend

Also i wonder if i had a muscular girlfriend if i would get desenceitsed to her muceles after a while because some things that used to drive me wild now don't seem so special anymore (sorry for bad grammar and tipos but i am out of time)

Jun 07, 2022 - permalink

I agree that muscular women are much more sexy than normal women. I disagree that it gets old; my wife’s biceps take sex to a different level and it’s only gotten better over time.

Jun 07, 2022 - permalink

I’m stunned by the fact that when I meet a girl that show an evidence of strength or muscularity she can be so much more attractive than the next girl. I guess if you like huge boobs you are still “happy” if they are fairly large.

So I can be at a party and there is always one girl that everyone would call “normally built”, but she has one little thing that spark my fetish if it is a calf, separation in her back, or shreds of muscle in her arm etc. I will also find that girl in a crowd within seconds.

So there is a like a muscle radar and when it has found its mark, she is the only one occupying my mind at that party.

Jun 07, 2022 - permalink

I’m stunned by the fact that when I meet a girl that show an evidence of strength or muscularity she can be so much more attractive than the next girl. I guess if you like huge boobs you are still “happy” if they are fairly large.

So I can be at a party and there is always one girl that everyone would call “normally built”, but she has one little thing that spark my fetish if it is a calf, separation in her back, or shreds of muscle in her arm etc. I will also find that girl in a crowd within seconds.

So there is a like a muscle radar and when it has found its mark, she is the only one occupying my mind at that party.

I like to call that my "power instinct" sounds cooler.

Jun 07, 2022 - permalink

I'm glad you brought this topic up, because back when I was single, I struggled with this feeling too. I told my therapist that I felt guilty for my attraction toward muscular women: not because I felt shame or guilt from the attraction itself, but I felt guilty because I liked a type that was pretty uncommon, and as I was struggling with dating, I felt guilty that I was ignoring and rejecting numerous women because they "weren't muscular."

But you like what you like, and while it is frustrating at times because of how rare buff women are, I don't think we should hate the fact that we like something that is uncommon. As as evidenced by people on this forum like Highprotein and damagecontrol, it is possible to get with a buff woman. You just have to put yourself in the right environments, and hit the weights hard. I am into Crossfit, and I eventually got with a fellow Crossfitter who is now my girlfriend.

Good luck!

Jun 08, 2022 - permalink

I'm glad you brought this topic up, because back when I was single, I struggled with this feeling too. I told my therapist that I felt guilty for my attraction toward muscular women: not because I felt shame or guilt from the attraction itself, but I felt guilty because I liked a type that was pretty uncommon, and as I was struggling with dating, I felt guilty that I was ignoring and rejecting numerous women because they "weren't muscular."

But you like what you like, and while it is frustrating at times because of how rare buff women are, I don't think we should hate the fact that we like something that is uncommon. As as evidenced by people on this forum like Highprotein and damagecontrol, it is possible to get with a buff woman. You just have to put yourself in the right environments, and hit the weights hard. I am into Crossfit, and I eventually got with a fellow Crossfitter who is now my girlfriend.

Good luck!

What advice did your therapist give?

Jun 08, 2022 - permalink

Take one woman at random, if she's healthy and in my age range I will maybe consider her as "attractive". I am a man and I like women.

But the problem is the comparison. If you put a regular woman I would find attractive next to a similar one that shows visible muscles, it's not a contest for me. I only think about the second one. And then the feelings for the first one are ruined.

I can relate, and many times I think about this. Sometimes I guess it is hard to me to bound to people in an open wave, so casual relations that later becomes about sex are non existant. I just need the boost of chasing a fine looking woman.

And then I found some really nice woman that I'm pretty sure they are into me, but I cannot bring myself to commit, nor even fake, trying to start some relationship.

So this womans are kind of ok... it is strange to think that most people souls are kind of "similar" in their uniqueness etc, but in my case I guess I cannot just love someone, I just need to chase the perfect girl.

But at the same time, I found many many women that goes around so very hot and desireble, but they are just around and I keep chasing. Nowadays I'm more contemplative, but I still dream about getting to be intimate with some amazing women.

Sometimes I think I just don't get it, all this sex/relationship things, I feel as a kid that doesnt know how to people really do things.

Jun 08, 2022 - permalink

This question touches me deeply.

I rejected too many many MANY girls just because they weren't not even a bit fit. Besides of this, none of my girlfriends in the past was muscular, but I had great sex with them regardless. However for me is a sort of a curse that I would dismiss immediately if I could, but that's just the way I am, and there's nothing I could do about that. On the long run however the sex drive in me fades, regardless the feelings toward such girls, and I think (possibly wrong) that it depends on their physique.

...During time I am hitting crossfit hard, and I knew some fit/built girls, but they were assholes and things didn't work, at 36 I am losing hope since I am realizing that I can't make compromises with myself, but at the same time I struggle tremendously to find a girl as I wish.

Jun 08, 2022 - permalink

What advice did your therapist give?

Few things. The first was not to feel guilty for liking what I like, even if that meant that dating would be harder for me.

However, he cautioned me against ONLY looking at physique when it comes to dating at the expense of everything else that's important in a relationship. That actually hit me very hard because I went out on a few dates with a powerlifter who had exactly the build and physique I was attracted to, but she turned out to be extremely toxic. By contrast, my now-girlfriend isn't anywhere near as strong or muscular as her, and she wouldn't grace the pages of this site, but she still is fit, does CrossFit with me and has decent muscles. What got me to stay with her was her values, kindness, and her being a much better "soul" as opposed to the previous woman. At the end of the day, while her being a fellow lifter did physically attract me to her, I learned my lesson from and put more emphasis on other aspects of compatibility.

Finally, he advised me to actually do things that put me in an environment with fit people. He was actually the one who got me to start CrossFit, and I'm glad I did not only because it helped me have compatibility with my girlfriend, but I got in amazing shape and also met great people through that community. This is gonna sound judgmental, but I have noticed that the vast majority of schmoes, while wanting to get with a buff woman, don't put the effort and work in to give themselves a chance of that happening. Every time someone asks "how do I meet/date a female bodybuilder/muscular woman," I say the same thing: get into strength sports and get involved with your local strength sport community. Almost none of them do that, instead they want to know what special app, bar or site they hang out in, or the most effort they want to do is sliding into a woman's DM on Instagram or whatever. Muscular women are rare, and while that does make it more difficult to get with one, you have to put in the effort to get with one, and for some reason that I just can't understand a lot of schmoes just don't want to do it, or they put their fingers in their ears when someone tells them that.

There is a reason why you see so many female bodybuilders with male bodybuilders. And before inevitably someone posts a picture of a skinny guy with a built woman, that is the exception, not the norm. You'll have a much better chance if you lift yourself.

Jun 08, 2022 - permalink
Deleted by jonte
Jun 08, 2022 - permalink

Advice: Date and have relations with "normal" women, then if you get the chance (even if you have to pay for it), have sex with muscle godesses once in a while.

So…cheat on your non-muscular partner! Great advice! 🤦‍♂️

cgsweat
Jun 08, 2022 - permalink

Spot on, Gatsby28. Congrats on your current gf, glad you're happy with her.

This is gonna sound judgmental, but I have noticed that the vast majority of schmoes, while wanting to get with a buff woman, don't put the effort and work in to give themselves a chance of that happening. Every time someone asks "how do I meet/date a female bodybuilder/muscular woman," I say the same thing: get into strength sports and get involved with your local strength sport community. Almost none of them do that, instead they want to know what special app, bar or site they hang out in, or the most effort they want to do is sliding into a woman's DM on Instagram or whatever.

It does boggle the mind. They're not as likely to have a chance encounter with them at a bar or grocery store, so logically (if they're that desperate to meet one) they'd go to where these girls are guaranteed to be at... the gym (or crossfit as in your case). And yes, it only makes sense to get into working out and actually reap the benefits rather than being the creepy guy in the corner just staring at the ladies all day. Women will take notice and especially if you've been going for awhile, they'll feel a little more comfortable since you'd be a regular rather than a stranger, so they'd be more open to light conversation.

Jun 08, 2022 - permalink
Deleted by jonte
Jun 08, 2022 - permalink

No one said you have to do it while in a relationship, I vist escorts sometimes but never when I have a regular girlfriend. These ones for an instance:

rosasidan dot ws/Muskellinda

escortguide dot dk/P/fernanda-fitness-dronning-new-videos-everyday-real-profile-confirm-by-video-call--52965

Girls that proparbly wouldn't date me, but who offer splendid services when payed.

I’m not against sex work (I believe prostitution among consenting adults should be legal,) but while you say that you pay for girls that probably wouldn’t date you, why don’t you take the steps to be the person that they would want to date? Hit the gym and lift hard. Get involved with the fitness community. Compete yourself in either bodybuilding, powerlifting, CrossFit, etc. Put the effort to make yourself appealing to the buff women that you are so attracted to.

Jun 08, 2022 - edited Jun 08, 2022 - permalink

Here is the advice I would give to you younger guys who struggle with this:

1) Just own that you are attracted to muscular women and don't be afraid to acknowledge it. There are so many sexual preferences that abound and liking fit, healthy women is much more common and accepted than it was 20-30 years ago, so don't dance around the subject.

2) Keeping muscular and fit and lean enough to be the kind of woman who has a body like that you see here takes energy, commitment, and time. Women who are in this are in this for the long haul. It doesn't happen overnight and someone you want to be with long term should have this as something they're dedicated to. II'S A LIFESTYLE.

3) Since you are looking for a partner who has this LIFESTYLE, you need to find a way to SHARE that lifestyle and PARTICIPATE in it. So yes, your chances of finding and dating and having a long-term relationship with a muscular woman go up immensely if you actually lift, do sports, watch your diet, compere in power/strength hobbies, and the like. The poster above that took up Crossfit did exactly that and I bet it was the best move. So, the rest of you, join a running club (lean women), a Crossfit gym (lean/muscular), a yoga studio (lean/flexible), powerlifting gym (brawny) or whatever. Pick something YOU like that YOU can stick with and you will meet women who are doing the same thing. IF you both do it long enough A) you will have something in common and B) you will likely both reap the physical/muscular rewards of it.

4) Fit, muscular girls LIKE THE WAY MUSCLE LOOKS, and they are into it at a core level. It takes a lot of energy and effort to maintain this look and they probably get a lot of shit from people for looking this way. They are often timid about flaunting it and they often get side-eye or unwarranted, creepy attention for looking muscular. Don't be a creep. Dont FIXATE on this. Remember this is one piece of their personality and life. You need to see their muscularity as a reflection of their life choices and preferences and RESPECT them - the ones you want to find and date are not doing this for YOU, they are doing it for THEMSELVES (and this is what you want, because you want them to be committed to this for the long haul and do it because of their intrinsic appreciation and drive to be fit and muscular).

5) Stop trying or hoping to "change" women who are not fit or clearly have no interest in working out or being muscular into one who is. The girls you might have a hope with this are the ones who are always dieting or starting and stopping working out, or constantly switching up their routines, or latching onto the latest weight loss fads. These women likely want to BE muscular and lean, but they haven't figured it out yet. These women are ones you can invite to share that lifting/working out lifestyle with you and you can become fit and healthy together - but remember, the internal "spark" to be this way will have to come from them - you can't do this for them. If you find a pretty girl, but she is not fit/athletic/muscular, you either need to accept that this is not going to be part of their personality, or just move on to find the girl who is - make that choice early and don't regret that you started dating a non-muscular girl later and waste everyone's time when this is something you realize is non-negotiable for you.

6) Take a good look in the mirror. Are you eating like crap, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, hanging out and playing video games all day, not being motivated in your life? Do you think a woman who has a muscular body as a result of YEARS of heavy lifting, getting up early to go to the gym, being disciplined with her diet, doing hard work every day, avoiding drugs/alcohol, and resisting social pressures against being big/lean/muscular for her entire life is going to likely SHARE those same habits? Possibly, if you're fantastic at art, business, music, or whatever - but because this is a lifestyle, she is probably looking to SHARE these healthy habits with her partner (you) and if your body doesn't reflect those habits (because you're woefully out of shape, weak, uncommitted, undisciplined), you are gong to have a hard time getting what you want. Let's face it, a muscular woman is still usually pretty attractive to the majority of guys whether they would admit it or not - most offseason bikini, figure or bodybuilding girls still have legs and asses that are spectacular and they know they can flaunt their physique successfully, so they are likely aware of their attractiveness. You need to step up your game and start sharing that lifestyle, while also committing to excellence in other areas of your life (job, career, intellect, compassion, caring, artistry, hobbies, etc) and the women of your (muscular) dreams will appear before you know it.

Go get em folks! You can do it!

Jun 09, 2022 - permalink

Everyone: listen to jeffsket’s advice. It is GOLD.

You want a buff woman. Put in the work.

Jun 09, 2022 - permalink

Here is the advice I would give to you younger guys who struggle with this:

1) Just own that you are attracted to muscular women and don't be afraid to acknowledge it. There are so many sexual preferences that abound and liking fit, healthy women is much more common and accepted than it was 20-30 years ago, so don't dance around the subject.

2) Keeping muscular and fit and lean enough to be the kind of woman who has a body like that you see here takes energy, commitment, and time. Women who are in this are in this for the long haul. It doesn't happen overnight and someone you want to be with long term should have this as something they're dedicated to. II'S A LIFESTYLE.

3) Since you are looking for a partner who has this LIFESTYLE, you need to find a way to SHARE that lifestyle and PARTICIPATE in it. So yes, your chances of finding and dating and having a long-term relationship with a muscular woman go up immensely if you actually lift, do sports, watch your diet, compere in power/strength hobbies, and the like. The poster above that took up Crossfit did exactly that and I bet it was the best move. So, the rest of you, join a running club (lean women), a Crossfit gym (lean/muscular), a yoga studio (lean/flexible), powerlifting gym (brawny) or whatever. Pick something YOU like that YOU can stick with and you will meet women who are doing the same thing. IF you both do it long enough A) you will have something in common and B) you will likely both reap the physical/muscular rewards of it.

4) Fit, muscular girls LIKE THE WAY MUSCLE LOOKS, and they are into it at a core level. It takes a lot of energy and effort to maintain this look and they probably get a lot of shit from people for looking this way. They are often timid about flaunting it and they often get side-eye or unwarranted, creepy attention for looking muscular. Don't be a creep. Dont FIXATE on this. Remember this is one piece of their personality and life. You need to see their muscularity as a reflection of their life choices and preferences and RESPECT them - the ones you want to find and date are not doing this for YOU, they are doing it for THEMSELVES (and this is what you want, because you want them to be committed to this for the long haul and do it because of their intrinsic appreciation and drive to be fit and muscular).

5) Stop trying or hoping to "change" women who are not fit or clearly have no interest in working out or being muscular into one who is. The girls you might have a hope with this are the ones who are always dieting or starting and stopping working out, or constantly switching up their routines, or latching onto the latest weight loss fads. These women likely want to BE muscular and lean, but they haven't figured it out yet. These women are ones you can invite to share that lifting/working out lifestyle with you and you can become fit and healthy together - but remember, the internal "spark" to be this way will have to come from them - you can't do this for them. If you find a pretty girl, but she is not fit/athletic/muscular, you either need to accept that this is not going to be part of their personality, or just move on to find the girl who is - make that choice early and don't regret that you started dating a non-muscular girl later and waste everyone's time when this is something you realize is non-negotiable for you.

6) Take a good look in the mirror. Are you eating like crap, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, hanging out and playing video games all day, not being motivated in your life? Do you think a woman who has a muscular body as a result of YEARS of heavy lifting, getting up early to go to the gym, being disciplined with her diet, doing hard work every day, avoiding drugs/alcohol, and resisting social pressures against being big/lean/muscular for her entire life is going to likely SHARE those same habits? Possibly, if you're fantastic at art, business, music, or whatever - but because this is a lifestyle, she is probably looking to SHARE these healthy habits with her partner (you) and if your body doesn't reflect those habits (because you're woefully out of shape, weak, uncommitted, undisciplined), you are gong to have a hard time getting what you want. Let's face it, a muscular woman is still usually pretty attractive to the majority of guys whether they would admit it or not - most offseason bikini, figure or bodybuilding girls still have legs and asses that are spectacular and they know they can flaunt their physique successfully, so they are likely aware of their attractiveness. You need to step up your game and start sharing that lifestyle, while also committing to excellence in other areas of your life (job, career, intellect, compassion, caring, artistry, hobbies, etc) and the women of your (muscular) dreams will appear before you know it.

Go get em folks! You can do it!

This is it, worked for me as well. Good post Jeffsket!

Sep 02, 2022 - permalink

6) Take a good look in the mirror. Are you eating like crap, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, hanging out and playing video games all day, not being motivated in your life? Do you think a woman who has a muscular body as a result of YEARS of heavy lifting, getting up early to go to the gym, being disciplined with her diet, doing hard work every day, avoiding drugs/alcohol, and resisting social pressures against being big/lean/muscular for her entire life is going to likely SHARE those same habits? Possibly, if you're fantastic at art, business, music, or whatever - but because this is a lifestyle, she is probably looking to SHARE these healthy habits with her partner (you) and if your body doesn't reflect those habits (because you're woefully out of shape, weak, uncommitted, undisciplined), you are gong to have a hard time getting what you want. Let's face it, a muscular woman is still usually pretty attractive to the majority of guys whether they would admit it or not - most offseason bikini, figure or bodybuilding girls still have legs and asses that are spectacular and they know they can flaunt their physique successfully, so they are likely aware of their attractiveness. You need to step up your game and start sharing that lifestyle, while also committing to excellence in other areas of your life (job, career, intellect, compassion, caring, artistry, hobbies, etc) and the women of your (muscular) dreams will appear before you know it.

How far do you really have to commit. I really would be reluctant to completely re orienting my life around fitness something I have next to no interest in, just to get I girl I find attractive. Surely I see how these women want someone who is hardworking, successful and not in unhealthy shape. But for me my interest in fitness don't go beyond running, I am kind of a nerd I am mostly into cars and nerdy hobbies. I even would be quite un comfortable with the idea of me being muscular. That aside lets say even if I did start lifting and stuff, why in the world would any of these women wanna be with me in a gym filled with dudes 6 inches taller than me and twice my size?

cgsweat
Sep 02, 2022 - permalink

How far do you really have to commit. I really would be reluctant to completely re orienting my life around fitness something I have next to no interest in, just to get I girl I find attractive. Surely I see how these women want someone who is hardworking, successful and not in unhealthy shape. But for me my interest in fitness don't go beyond running, I am kind of a nerd I am mostly into cars and nerdy hobbies. I even would be quite un comfortable with the idea of me being muscular. That aside lets say even if I did start lifting and stuff, why in the world would any of these women wanna be with me in a gym filled with dudes 6 inches taller than me and twice my size?

Don't commit to a lifestyle change if your sole purpose is to attract a mate. But if for some reason you have set this lofty goal for yourself of attracting a muscular girl, then odds are you will need to be in at least decent shape.

All women are different, and there isn't a cookie-cutter explanation that is guaranteed to land you one in your lap. You might feel intimidated by the other guys at the gym, but for all you know she doesn't care about those guys at all. Lots of women out there (muscular or not) prefer a more "down to Earth" type of guy.

And when it comes to hitting on the women at the gym, that's another subject altogether. Most of them are there to workout and not pick up boyfriends. If you decide to go the gym route, then you need to do it because you genuinely want to better yourself. Otherwise if you're there solely to "pick up chicks," they'll know it right away. You won't stand a chance. Again, you need to have a good reason for being there, and you need to play it cool and be patient.

There are many other threads on this site about meeting and dating muscular girls, you might want to look those up.

Sep 02, 2022 - permalink

Yeah appearance aside I would assume most of these girls are like any other. In that case wouldn't being a healthy and confident and exposing yourself to them be enough? As well as hitting it off and having some commonality. I get the idea of what Gatsby and Jeffsket are saying you want to expose yourself to these girls so you should do go to where you would find them and have common thing you can bond and spend time together over. However I would hope its as you said not cookie cutter and not a super specific set of conditions you have to meet for you to find a buff girl.

cgsweat
Sep 02, 2022 - permalink

However I would hope its as you said not cookie cutter and not a super specific set of conditions you have to meet for you to find a buff girl.

These suggestions are only meant to increase your odds. Nothing is certain, as again all women are different. Over time if you converse with them often enough then you'll get a feel for what they might be looking for. Talking to them would also help to boost your confidence. You don't have to go straight into dating if you don't feel ready.

Sep 02, 2022 - permalink

hi everybody

So I have this thing I wanted to talk about. I love muscular women like everybody here, but don't you hate how much muscular women make the other women pale in comparison?

I am talking here about appearance, which of course is not everything in a person, but is the easiest thing to notice.

Take one woman at random, if she's healthy and in my age range I will maybe consider her as "attractive". I am a man and I like women.

But the problem is the comparison. If you put a regular woman I would find attractive next to a similar one that shows visible muscles, it's not a contest for me. I only think about the second one. And then the feelings for the first one are ruined.

I love muscular women but they are so few and they make it so hard to enjoy all the other women out there.

I know, I'm a superficial guy, anybody have this problem?

We're allowed to have our preferences, there is no problem. It's ok to be superficial. I dated several women who I was not physically attracted to because I didn't want to be that guy who only cares about looks and doesn't care about character. Guess what? They were superficial and would have bounced for the next best thing in a heart beat.

A friend of mine went on a date with an athletic woman. He was sedentary, and it showed. On the second date she took him to a gym and friend zoned him after. At least she showed him how to reach his goal, but the point is she had preferences as well and wasn't going to settle for anything less.

Sep 02, 2022 - permalink

hi everybody

So I have this thing I wanted to talk about. I love muscular women like everybody here, but don't you hate how much muscular women make the other women pale in comparison?

I am talking here about appearance, which of course is not everything in a person, but is the easiest thing to notice.

Take one woman at random, if she's healthy and in my age range I will maybe consider her as "attractive". I am a man and I like women.

But the problem is the comparison. If you put a regular woman I would find attractive next to a similar one that shows visible muscles, it's not a contest for me. I only think about the second one. And then the feelings for the first one are ruined.

I love muscular women but they are so few and they make it so hard to enjoy all the other women out there.

I know, I'm a superficial guy, anybody have this problem?

you usually wouldn't date muscular women, would just admire them.

Sep 02, 2022 - permalink

6) Take a good look in the mirror. Are you eating like crap, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, hanging out and playing video games all day, not being motivated in your life? Do you think a woman who has a muscular body as a result of YEARS of heavy lifting, getting up early to go to the gym, being disciplined with her diet, doing hard work every day, avoiding drugs/alcohol, and resisting social pressures against being big/lean/muscular for her entire life is going to likely SHARE those same habits? Possibly, if you're fantastic at art, business, music, or whatever - but because this is a lifestyle, she is probably looking to SHARE these healthy habits with her partner (you) and if your body doesn't reflect those habits (because you're woefully out of shape, weak, uncommitted, undisciplined), you are gong to have a hard time getting what you want. Let's face it, a muscular woman is still usually pretty attractive to the majority of guys whether they would admit it or not - most offseason bikini, figure or bodybuilding girls still have legs and asses that are spectacular and they know they can flaunt their physique successfully, so they are likely aware of their attractiveness. You need to step up your game and start sharing that lifestyle, while also committing to excellence in other areas of your life (job, career, intellect, compassion, caring, artistry, hobbies, etc) and the women of your (muscular) dreams will appear before you know it.

honestly that is a basical must even if you are not in any intention like this

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