Forum
>
General / Nonfiction
>
Thread
Log in |
Register
But is it really a fetish? As long as you don't objectify people I consider it more of a preference imho, also, most people have kinks or unusual preferences.
If you like certain traits in women do social activities where you're more likely to find them.
Personally I've always liked more built/rugged women, in some cases even masculine, I realized right away that women like that are extremely hard to find, and even after finding one they're often not interested (preferences, lesbians or in a relationship) .
You have to increase your social presence in the right places (even unusual ones) if you want to date the right people.
But is it really a fetish? As long as you don't objectify people I consider it more of a preference imho, also, most people have kinks or unusual preferences.
If you like certain traits in women do social activities where you're more likely to find them.
Personally I've always liked more built/rugged women, in some cases even masculine, I realized right away that women like that are extremely hard to find, and even after finding one they're often not interested (preferences, lesbians or in a relationship) .
You have to increase your social presence in the right places (even unusual ones) if you want to date the right people.
Spataccon is correct! You have to really put yourself out there up front, and let someone know that you want an unconventional relationship from the start. And also look for the right kind of person - not to generalize, but someone who's more liberal and unconventional in their lifestyle (or at least who is hypersexual) would probably be more open and accepting of a fetish and needs like this (it was in my case). A big breakthrough for me was finding someone who was ok with me sessioning while in a committed relationship so I could continue to have all my needs and fantasies met (we discussed all of this, including the muscle fetish in general, on one of our earliest dates). We're now married, and our "monogamish" relationship has been continuing strong. And at the same time, there's even one girl I session with so much we both call her my "session girlfriend" haha. Basically, while it can be scary at the start, try not to be afraid to state your needs openly and plainly. When it pays off, it will be so worth it!
Talking from my experience, I have many problems to find a sexual partner, in the way that, not every girl is able to turn me on. My last girlfriend was muscular, and I loved it, but I have to tell that I've been with "normal girls" and I had very good sexual experiences.
If you ask me, my favourite sexual experiences were the ones with "normal girls". With muscle girls they were just different, maybe because I had higher expectations.
I don't find this "fetish" a big issue.
Talking from my experience, I have many problems to find a sexual partner, in the way that, not every girl is able to turn me on. My last girlfriend was muscular, and I loved it, but I have to tell that I've been with "normal girls" and I had very good sexual experiences.
If you ask me, my favourite sexual experiences were the ones with "normal girls". With muscle girls they were just different, maybe because I had higher expectations.
I don't find this "fetish" a big issue.
This is quite a bit different from my own experiences. I have been enamored with girls and women with muscle since I was about 7 years old. I can say with all honesty, a muscular woman sends my libido into a super stratosphere sexually. A non-muscled woman does nothing for me. That in itself has made my sex life challenged.
Authenticity. Sounds cliché, but be yourself. The more time you spend trying to fit into the box you think you're supposed to be in, the more you'll regret the time wasted when you're older. You may even find that you're resenting your younger self when it's too late to get that time back.
That said, for most people, sex chat is rarely a first date conversation, so you can wait a date or two before investigating whether your kink aligns with her comfort zone. Because I was over 40 years old, when I was last in a dating phase, I just put that shit right out there in order to cut down the applications, eliminate the chaff. Worked for me, but while I don't know if I woulda employed the same strategy in my 20s, I am sure I would've considered it.
Like Spatacoon said: there is a difference between having a preference on what you find attractive versus objectifying a person with a fetish. So long as you don't ONLY look at a person's physique as the only thing you care about in a partner to the point of ignoring every other trait, positive or toxic, you're just like anybody else with their own attractions and preferences.
The issue that I see from a lot of guys here is that they put very little effort into putting themselves in environments where they can meet and get to know buff women (and no, I don't mean trying to slide into their DMs or paying to interact via webcam.) That means getting involved in your local fitness community. Join a gym that encourages a community atmosphere. You won't find that in a "big box" gym, but rather a smaller, closer-knit gym like a Crossfit, powerlifting or olympic lifting gym. Then, make yourself known and network with people (in other words, don't join one of those gyms and immediately start hitting on all the fit women.) Get fit, go to expos and competitions as both a viewer and as a competitor. And as you network with people and establish a good reputation, you have a greater chance to getting to know those fit women you are attracted to and maybe go out with.
Attracted to fit and buff women? Then go for fit and buff women. No sense in going out with a sedentary out of shape couch potato and going "oh, as a heads up, I like muscular women!" But you got to put in the effort.
I think that for a lot of guys that are on here, we are used to looking for the hottest of the hot fit girls. Our standards are, if you aren't one of the 0.1% hottest and fittest girls out there, we aren't going to add your picture to our favorites.
If we let it, this kind of habitual judging of women's bodies will make us really judgemental about even the 9/10 fitness level girls that are on here because "her six pack isn't as symmetrical as I prefer" or "her thighs are a little underdeveloped." When you scrutinize people's bodies all the time, your entire thought process of "who do I find attractive?" becomes warped to hyper focus on the fittest girls out there.
The aesthetics girls achieve these days was unheard of just a couple decades ago. There is really no reason to think if you don't date some fit babe then you're not going to enjoy an average shaped woman. Although you might have to ease into the relationship.
But you could go slow with a woman that you don't find immediately super hot, but if you develop feelings for each other then you will start to see her in a different light. And we are conditioned to think that it's the image of the female body that is the be all and end all of what qualifies as sexy. The things a woman does or says, her confidence, or little quirks she has end up being sexy.
And there are aspects of dating a fit girl that would suck, like if she lives in the gym, she's not going to have much time for other hobbies with you. I personally think that the whole pursuit of perfect aesthetics shows a person that might be really vain, shallow, or self-absorbed. Maybe not. But damn if it doesn't get me going.
So in order for this to really work I think we need to make a conscious effort to focus on the positives in life and practice gratitude. Gratitude isn't magic but it does rewire your brain to seek the positives in any situation. When you do that, you start to view people based on what you like about them instead of being disgusted by their flaws. I have noticed I am finding a wider range of women attractive these days just because I notice their nice features instead of staring at their physical imperfections.
Basically, all of us are going to get old and saggy with plenty of flaws, but your outlook can change whether this bothers you or not.
And you don't have to stop liking fit babes if you date an average girl. The relationship should be additive to your life. One thing doesn't have to replace the other. When you get to a serious point in the relationship, I would just be very upfront that your preferences are what they are and you're not going to change. Most girls like fit guys with muscle for the same reason we like women with muscle. So they shouldn't be shocked you like fit girls. I think some of that stigma has been obliterated by these famous fitness influencers. So she might not mind your preferences at all. And she might even want to help by indulging you in your fantasies. And if you reciprocate and play along with her weird kinks, you could end up with a pretty decent sex life.
Feel the fear and do it anyway! That old book did have some wisdom. You just got to learn to take risks and not overthink it. Gwm may look great but they are usually seriously lacking in other areas and can have significant mental health problems etc... I've known quite a few and while they might look great they usually have other issues. Find someone you can have fun with, open up to and experiment with and don't get hung up on looks so much. Then, when you're more experienced and less 'stuck', it will be much easier to date women who make you tongue tied and your heart skip a beat. But you can also learn and develop a loving and open relationship with pretty much any partner so long as you both remain open and willing. Good luck.
Feel the fear and do it anyway! That old book did have some wisdom. You just got to learn to take risks and not overthink it. Gwm may look great but they are usually seriously lacking in other areas and can have significant mental health problems etc... I've known quite a few and while they might look great they usually have other issues. Find someone you can have fun with, open up to and experiment with and don't get hung up on looks so much. Then, when you're more experienced and less 'stuck', it will be much easier to date women who make you tongue tied and your heart skip a beat. But you can also learn and develop a loving and open relationship with pretty much any partner so long as you both remain open and willing. Good luck.
Seriously lacking in other areas....I swear it's comments like this that make me cringe. There is no need to talk down to women who are in shape, but have very normal insecurities. We are all like that whether we want to admit it or not. Sure, girls who are fit will have some issues that are exclusive to them, but it is not to say that they are lacking in anything. If the OP likes fit girls, I say go for them, but understand that at the end of the day, they have normal thoughts and feelings that women have. They are not superhuman or above normal insecurities in spite of how they look. I recommend you keep any kink you have in check until you are both in a spot in the relationship where it is appropriate. Liking fit girls are not a kink, liking female bodybuilders are a kink. I assume the majority of women on this site are bodybuilders. Women you meet in real life will more than likely be fit and slightly muscular, but not necessarily shredded to the gills. So it really depends on how muscular you need her to be for you to be satisfied sexually in the relationship.
Feel the fear and do it anyway! That old book did have some wisdom. You just got to learn to take risks and not overthink it. Gwm may look great but they are usually seriously lacking in other areas and can have significant mental health problems etc... I've known quite a few and while they might look great they usually have other issues. Find someone you can have fun with, open up to and experiment with and don't get hung up on looks so much. Then, when you're more experienced and less 'stuck', it will be much easier to date women who make you tongue tied and your heart skip a beat. But you can also learn and develop a loving and open relationship with pretty much any partner so long as you both remain open and willing. Good luck.
I think it's pretty rude to assume that women who are muscular also have mental issues. It's like the stereotype that if a guy looks muscular he's a dumb meathead. I feel like some guys talk down to buff women because they themselves are either insecure, jealous or both.
You have to just be yourself and make sure you communicate as early as possible what you like and want. I spent years in the wrong type of relationship because I always tried to "make it work" and told myself I had to be able to do it because chances of being with a GWM and do the stuff I liked with her sexually was just not going to happen.
Well, when I finallyyyyy decided to change things and just go straight for what I wanted and be open about it everything changed and I got what I never thought I would, not just physically but also in everything else related, sex is totally different :)
I think it's pretty rude to assume that women who are muscular also have mental issues. It's like the stereotype that if a guy looks muscular he's a dumb meathead. I feel like some guys talk down to buff women because they themselves are either insecure, jealous or both.
In my experience it's been generally true, but I have met a couple of lovely gwm too :) Psychologically over-developed muscles are generally compensating for a perceived lack of something whether you're male or female though. Just as people who are obese are usually compensating for something.
In my experience it's been generally true, but I have met a couple of lovely gwm too :) Psychologically over-developed muscles are generally compensating for a perceived lack of something whether you're male or female though. Just as people who are obese are usually compensating for something.
Unless you are a health care professional, please stop spewing garbage. People are insecure of their bodies whether that be hair texture, skin tone, birth marks, etc. It sounds like you are overcompensating by superficially inflating your own ego by generalizing other's physical preferences. By your definition, get help.
In my experience it's been generally true, but I have met a couple of lovely gwm too :) Psychologically over-developed muscles are generally compensating for a perceived lack of something whether you're male or female though. Just as people who are obese are usually compensating for something.
Same here.. it's common but not always the case.
Unless you are a health care professional, please stop spewing garbage. People are insecure of their bodies whether that be hair texture, skin tone, birth marks, etc. It sounds like you are overcompensating by superficially inflating your own ego by generalizing other's physical preferences. By your definition, get help.
How do you know I'm not, and what difference would it make if I wasn't. It's not like we need to state all our credentials here, lol. If you like to live in a fantasy world where everything is perfect and just as you imagine it should be then I don't want to stop you. But you can't stop me sharing my experience and views. You come across as very brittle and easily offended. I've met quite a few gwm's, dated a few and nearly married one. There are a number of other folks here with similar experiences. Particularly in relation to those gwm using steroids, i.e. most fbbs, it messes with hormones and changes the biochemistry of the body. They're often not the most rational. A few experienced significant trauma in childhood too, and I would bet that number is probably quite high within this group. Anyway, enough said.
How do you know I'm not, and what difference would it make if I wasn't. It's not like we need to state all our credentials here, lol. If you like to live in a fantasy world where everything is perfect and just as you imagine it should be then I don't want to stop you. But you can't stop me sharing my experience and views. You come across as very brittle and easily offended. I've met quite a few gwm's, dated a few and nearly married one. There are a number of other folks here with similar experiences. Particularly in relation to those gwm using steroids, i.e. most fbbs, it messes with hormones and changes the biochemistry of the body. They're often not the most rational. A few experienced significant trauma in childhood too, and I would bet that number is probably quite high within this group. Anyway, enough said.
It’s quite telling that you have known, dated and even almost married a girl with muscle and yet still declare that they are lacking in areas other than good looks. I didn’t realize being empathic to a person and their personal struggles had anything to do with fantasy. I merely stated that generalizing a group of women based on your own experiences is disingenuous. But ok I’m the offended and brittle one because I disagree with your point of view and am calling you out for having a toxic mentality. Like I said get professional help, if you believe training to get bigger muscles is overcompensating for some underlying mental health issues.
Hi everyone, As a young guy with gwm fetish, i find extremely difficult to open up with “normal” girls. I’d love to have a relationship but on the other hand I have this huge fear to disappoint my gf sexually bc of my tastes and fantasies (some of them being paretty weird, like fmg stuff etc).
Own it. If she's not enjoying what you like, she's not for you anyway. Go for thick girls with big butts and calves. They will fulfill your need for muscle naturally, trust me. If you compliment on her muscles, she'll be inclined to work out for you and then own it. But you need to find a soulmate. You also have to be able to talk to her about everything you like and have fun. Not being able to stop talking with her because so many interesting things pop up - that's a sure sign. And then she'll also understand what you like and probably be into it too, or willing to try it. Prepare to be disappointed maybe, but as I said: if she doesn't like what you like, she's not for you anyway, and the next girl may just be right around the corner.
Hi everyone, As a young guy with gwm fetish, i find extremely difficult to open up with “normal” girls. I’d love to have a relationship but on the other hand I have this huge fear to disappoint my gf sexually bc of my tastes and fantasies (some of them being paretty weird, like fmg stuff etc). Has anyone else had these type of problems, and if you eventually got commited in a relationship, did they eventually turn out to be less serious of what they imagined? If anyone empathize with my feeling, or was in a similar situation in the past, could he share his experience/an advice?