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When it comes to asking them out, yeah it helps to find something else about her that you like other than just her muscles. Not directed at the OP, but just guys in general. And softer (less fetishy) remarks about her muscles are usually fine, just as long as you don't fixate on them, because that's when they'll start to see you as more of a schmoe rather than a suitable date.
Thanks for posting this.
1) I didn't know Helle was single. (I'm not her type, of course, just noting)
2) I don't think the "ooh, you could beat me up!" narrative comes from guys who are actually seeking to date super-muscular women.
I'm way older than most of you guys and I've been incredibly lucky in life, but my belief is that a lot of it comes from being honest about who I am and what works for me. Decades ago, people had to live in certain boxes in order to meet the expectations needed to have relationships and put food on their tables. If one didn't have the ability to move, the dating pool was entirely local. So, many kept a lot of their interests in the closet in order to keep the apple cart upright.
Now, though, the dating pool is global. If not-so-muscled Guy A is interested in Musclegirl X, but his muscle-centric kink doesn't align with hers, he can easily move on to shoot his shot with Musclegirl Y.
Not everyone is where I am with respect to how important their fetish interests are to them. Some guys like feet, but they can get that itch satisfied by spotting a nice pedicure at Target. I've got to have a lot more for my fantasies to be taken care of and I communicated that to my wife very early in our dating relationship.
If the fetish matters, don't pursue women who are put off by it.
When it comes to asking them out, yeah it helps to find something else about her that you like other than just her muscles. Not directed at the OP, but just guys in general. And softer (less fetishy) remarks about her muscles are usually fine, just as long as you don't fixate on them, because that's when they'll start to see you as more of a schmoe rather than a suitable date.
Exactly. I kind of wish female bodybuilders talked more about issues with men who fetishize them. We often hear them talk about encounters guys on the opposite side of the spectrum who make the "you look like a man" comments and shit like that, but I don't think enough of them talk about the other extreme end for the guys who are attracted to them but act, let's just say, not that appropriately. I honestly think that I would benefit a lot of us in understanding first hand their perspectives on those situations and how we can better ourselves in how we communicate with them and show our appreciations (like, how to compliment them without coming across like a "schmoe"?
Exactly. I kind of wish female bodybuilders talked more about issues with men who fetishize them. We often hear them talk about encounters guys on the opposite side of the spectrum who make the "you look like a man" comments and shit like that, but I don't think enough of them talk about the other extreme end for the guys who are attracted to them but act, let's just say, not that appropriately. I honestly think that I would benefit a lot of us in understanding first hand their perspectives on those situations and how we can better ourselves in how we communicate with them and show our appreciations (like, how to compliment them without coming across like a "schmoe"?
If they don't want to talk openly about it, then that's fine, too. Whether it makes them uncomfortable or whether they just don't want to talk about something that is of NO INTEREST to them, I'm ok with it. But one of the things that often comes across in conversations like these - whether among women on Instagram/YouTube or among the Johnny-do-gooders on forums like these - is the tacit suggestion that people don't get to like what they like or to be open about it. The finger-wagging is often accompanied by so much "How dare you?!" that seems way too "1984".
But hey, guys, I get it. There was a time in my life when I wouldn't consider doing sessions because, in part, I felt that I was "disrespecting the women". It didn't matter what she might be interested in (transactionally), I was making the decision that it would be morally "wrong" for me to engage. Yeah, that was not paternalistic at all, was it? Thankfully I got over that foolishness. lol
I think a lot of men who are into this go crazy when they see a fbb. because they are so rare they will act reckless because. they are not prepared to see their idols in person. like meeting helle Trevino in person would be to me like meeting Taylor swift to a Taylor swift fan.
i do get what she means because if you want a very long relationship there needs to be more than looks. like i noticed it's hard for me to date because most women are not very relatable. they don't have the same hobbies as me and have some things that I find annoying. i like to act like I have low standards but a lot of minor common things can ruin it for me. like I hate dogs so that already makes it so i can't date almost half of the women i meet.
and in the end if you plan to go old-school and stay together until you are dead. then looks won't matter because in the end both of us would look very ugly and old. but I will say that fbbs age slower than most women and stay hyper attractive until they are 70. while normal women lose attractiveness at 40 or 50.
...... of two spectrums: guys who are either intimidated/insecure of by them or think they are "manly," or ...... guys who see them as fetish objects and don't look beyond the muscles at the woman herself.
.......and she says that there are no shortage of guys who want to go out with her, but again most of those guys only see her as a fetish and don't really care to look more into her.
....... evidenced by the multiple threads asking how to date them. .....
I only saw the reel. Nothing new under the sun here. This is not a personal attack on Helle. She does make the right observations but has no ability to draw conclusions and offer solutions. Because this would require to remove her delusion. Same thing applies to pornstars, models, Ofans girls and even every day women with large social media presence.
Becoming a "freak" and then complaining that you attract only the weirdos, and no men, that YOU deem worthy, is delusional. Unpopular opinion I know, because logic has become unpopular. I was in the industry for 10 years and what Helle is saying sounds like an audiotape. Every single woman that was hitting the weights, would play that tape.
Just for completion I should add that the delusion afflicts men too.
guys who see them as fetish objects and don't look beyond the muscles at the woman herself.
This is why I don't actively seek to date muscular women. Sure, it's nice to date somebody you're more attracted to, but unless there's something more than just physical attraction, there's nothing to make a relationship last.
I don’t know something doesn’t sit right Helle’s take on dating. Several women who are buff are in happy relationships. Any one who blames the options tend to be the pickiest people. I find it hard to believe she can’t find a genuine guy who will look past her appearance because after a while we all do.
People will have attractive partners and still manage to cheat on them. Both men and women. Also, no offense to these women but one(Danielle) does fetish videos while the other is very androgenized(Helle). It kind of narrows the pool to only the dedicated of people with kinks. Helle is still pretty but let’s face it, the stacks have taken a toll on her body and face and she’s not even that old.
To the op: if you struggle with the muscle fetish, which we all have at some point, consider going to the gym. Your chances of seeing a buff lady friend go way up and you get the chance to talk to them to normalize the interactions. I used to struggle with simple conversations but as I got more comfortable; the anxiety of talking to one dropped considerably. I still get nervous but I don’t over think it as much and I can shut it off while talking after a while. Good luck!
I only saw the reel. Nothing new under the sun here. This is not a personal attack on Helle. She does make the right observations but has no ability to draw conclusions and offer solutions. Because this would require to remove her delusion. Same thing applies to pornstars, models, Ofans girls and even every day women with large social media presence.
Becoming a "freak" and then complaining that you attract only the weirdos, and no men, that YOU deem worthy, is delusional. Unpopular opinion I know, because logic has become unpopular. I was in the industry for 10 years and what Helle is saying sounds like an audiotape. Every single woman that was hitting the weights, would play that tape.
Just for completion I should add that the delusion afflicts men too.
Gonna piggyback a little bit here off of what you said and also mention when women like Helle mention how a man first has to be attracted to a woman with muscle....Welllll.....There's a sharp distinction between "women with muscle" and what Helle has. She is the shining example of going above and beyond what any average person thought was humanly possible for a woman to achieve in terms of muscular development (even with the help of PEDs). To be pushing close to 200 lbs when you are way below the normal level of bodyfat percentage that is recommended for a woman is otherworldly. By definition, that would make them a freak and Helle should know that distinction.
I honestly don't believe women who are built like Kathy Drayton, Desi Johnson, Giulia Verliani, Bru Luccas, or your average Instagram "QuadBae" will struggle as hard as someone like Helle in the dating world because having muscle on your frame doesn't exactly mean you'll struggle with dating by default. But when you go above and beyond and go far out of your way to achieve a hyper extreme look that even your own contemporaries would struggle to keep up with, I'm sorry but you're just gonna have to accept the fact that you will struggle with dating (given that you are dating outside of the bodybuilding world) because the average person typically doesn't go for hyper extremes whether it's on the fat, skinny, or muscular end of the spectrum.
The one thing I didn't like about the interview is that it appears like she really looks down on men who like to be dominated. I know it's not sexy to her and most people. but it seems like she would divorce her husband just for asking for a headscissor. Maybe I am looking too far into it and she only dislikes it when the boyfriend is only focused on that. and doesn't care about other things.
The one thing I didn't like about the interview is that it appears like she really looks down on men who like to be dominated. I know it's not sexy to her and most people. but it seems like she would divorce her husband just for asking for a headscissor. Maybe I am looking too far into it and she only dislikes it when the boyfriend is only focused on that. and doesn't care about other things.
I think you might be looking too far into it. I don't think she would divorce her husband (I don't think she's married, though?) if he asked to be dominated in the bedroom. Honestly, a lot of schmoes have an issue (I did as well when I was younger) with wearing their fetishes on their sleeve when interacting with buff women. If you have ever read a muscular woman's social media comments, or their DMs (I am friends with quite a few through the lifting community and they have shown me some of the DMs they get,) you'll see a lot of stuff like "step on me mommy," "Oh I bet you can beat me up, "Want to wrestle>" and that's the more tame of the comments they get. And they even get guys saying those things to them in person. Muscular women in general don't care if you have a kink for being dominated or whatever, but they don't like being viewed as a fetish object. Honestly, it's not that hard to interact with buff women. With how schmoes message them, the bar is practically set on the ground. I have gotten great conversations from them talking about nutrition, training programs, and stuff about the actual sport itself and not just their bodies or what I want them to do to me with their strength.
Funny enough, I messaged a local bodybuilder in my city replying to some posts she made about training. I talked about my programming and goals and we basically talked things like lifting technique, recovery and diet. After a few messages, she wrote: "btw, I'm so relieved you're not one of those guys", and by that she meant the dudes who would write her and basically go full schmoe lol.
Funny enough, I messaged a local bodybuilder in my city replying to some posts she made about training. I talked about my programming and goals and we basically talked things like lifting technique, recovery and diet. After a few messages, she wrote: "btw, I'm so relieved you're not one of those guys", and by that she meant the dudes who would write her and basically go full schmoe lol.
The schmoe to FBB ratio must be something like 50,000 to 1. Chances are very good that every FBB knows what a schmoe is, even if she isn't familiar with the exact term.
after years of being into it ive come to this.
i can never try and date someone that falls squarely in my fetish. i think we all suffer a bit from wandering eyes as fans. kinda comes with the fetish. woman a has a nice run, but at some point stops, so we move onto someone else for a window. it's like "i get older, they stay the same age". we get older, move on, we can still look around at younger women, buffer women, newer women whatever.
i cannot imagine being in a situation where i didn't want someone aside from that aspect and when they no longer fall into that window no longer have my fetish fulfilled.
Funny enough, I messaged a local bodybuilder in my city replying to some posts she made about training. I talked about my programming and goals and we basically talked things like lifting technique, recovery and diet. After a few messages, she wrote: "btw, I'm so relieved you're not one of those guys", and by that she meant the dudes who would write her and basically go full schmoe lol.
funny enough for me, even from women i've bought from, over the years i've gotten (more than a few times) the same comment even though I was buying stuff. mostly about being nice, or normal, or not asking for the super weird stuff like armpits, stepping on things, stepping on living things, sending photos of certain parts etc. i think many of them get it but the leash is VERY short
I wonder what they think about asking them to crush a watermelon between their thighs? You would think most would object to that, but quite a few seem to like it!
That's just it. Fruit crushing has been out there forever for us "weirdos", but then KO took it worldwide and become a global hit. Girls are all over TikTok trying to match the feat. Sure, there are still plenty who think it's weird, but a lot more find it "cool" today than felt that way 25 years ago.
Don't be afraid of what you're into. Trying to fit yourself into a box in order to please your family or society will make you resentful and miserable and those feelings will grow as you get older.
Altho I think the distinction is that they’re doing it because they think it’s cool. But if they had never seen it before or didn’t want to try it and you came along asking they might have reservations.
In general people are way more aware of their personal brand, if it exists, and if there is an opportunity for a blow up people will follow trends
Don't be afraid of what you're into. Trying to fit yourself into a box in order to please your family or society will make you resentful and miserable and those feelings will grow as you get older.
This is absolutely true.
Saw this reel on Helle's Instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CzepjGvvmDp/ about how dating as a bodybuilder is very difficult. It's usually because of two spectrums: guys who are either intimidated/insecure of by them or think they are "manly," or (and I wish they would have talked about this aspect a little more) guys who see them as fetish objects and don't look beyond the muscles at the woman herself.
She also responds to multiple comments where commentors talk about the fetish thing (along with a lot of guys trying to ask her out lol,) and she says that there are no shortage of guys who want to go out with her, but again most of those guys only see her as a fetish and don't really care to look more into her.
I wish they both would have covered the fetish aspect a little more because I know that that is something that a lot of us struggle with when it comes to interacting with buff women as evidenced by the multiple threads asking how to date them. And it also reminds me to work hard to separate the fetish from the person (i.e., having a fetish and/or preference for muscles is ok, but don't "fetishize" the actual person.
Here is the full YT video. https://youtu.be/DU3TA3vWgQ8?si=A6Vfs56ddpsN7uFB