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For me it just happened , I don't remember the exact moment but I do remember seeing a double bicep picture of Mildred Burke, then I noticed whenever I was out and I saw a girl with muscles my heart starting beating faster and not believing my eyes. Back then it wasn't the norm for girls to have biceps naturally as this was before to really they hit the gym and building muscle there. There are so many out in public instances but here of a few that stand out in my memory.
Seeing a girl on a swing go back and forth on as she pulled on the chain on the way up her biceps would explode.My sixth grad teacher had pretty big arms, I would look at her sometime as the reached behind to adjust her hair and that bicep would jump and I just couldn't stop looking. I remember one time me and some friend's sitting around in the kitchen and my friends wife flexed her bicep and it just popped up with her bicep having a really nice peak shaped like a large egg.
In high school in homeroom this girl sitting near me brushing her hair which was thick and hard to get a brush through, every time she brushed it her bicep would just ball up to such a hard looking defined bicep, she noticed me looking and put her arm out and flexed from the side and gave me a look like yeah I see you looking and yeah I have muscles.
I only spent some money on some videos and photo sets and tons of magazines , no sessions or anything like that. I have never talked about any of this with anyone as I never thought it was normal that I had this fetish I am a "bicep man" I am a little ashamed of this but I can't help it.
I am friends with a girl on instagram and we talk about her physique as well as lot of things, she works really hard at a very physical job and developed her muscles from lifting heavy stuff, she started lifting weights and has developed biceps that put mine to shame having much better shape with really nice splits and peaks. We have become good friends, we chat a lot. It's more than just about muscle now.
Tre, that was a really nice post you posted, and defo will help people who have similar problems. Dunno if this will get answered (wether here or in private) but I'm at a point where I kinda don't know what I want. I would want a wellness queen (kind of Chenqi Liu, Chenxiaoxian and Franciely Kawashima), but then I would want a monster (Anastasia Leonova type of woman), but the realistic choice personally is Aline Dessine (not the biggest, not the most shredded, medium is premium type of woman) cuz if I gave a girl a choice to choose which one looks the best/would look like, it would defo be Aline cuz shes got the least freaky body (the most acceptable choice imo). And also I feel like I would not be able to be in relationship with a non muscular woman. I'm 6ft with 60kg and would like to have woman who would want to gain muscle with me. I would want to see us both improve, one pushes the other to get to the new heights (both in gym and in general) and vice versa. At this point I'm just looking for answers and advices the people on this site can give. Thx in advance :))
I’m disgusted by my fetish for female muscle and what it’s done to my life. I’ve come close to ruining myself financially from all the purchased herbiceps VODs, HBC cam sessions, and onlyfans subs and custom videos. I can’t make the addiction stop.
I’m a thin guy and don’t live the bodybuilder lifestyle, so I can’t even imagine meeting an fbb in person unless I was a paying customer. None of these woman give a real shit about me even if I’ve gotten to know them on cam, and realistically I’m just a pathetic weak man who’s gawking over strong woman.
I agree with untergr8 above where it just feels sickening to worship these woman taking PEDs and harming their bodies to reach such unnatural goals, but I’m obsessed. They make me obsessed. It’s all a lie.
Compared to this response:
There is nothing disgusting about what you are into. It's OK to love adults doing what they love.
Disgust literally means a desire that a thing in yourself or in your presence would go away. It is not a statement that "female bodybuilders are de facto disgusting", and it's not even saying that "I feel disgusted by female bodybuilders", but by the addiction.
A disgust is a personal reaction, technically a passion, even if it was actually about female bodybuilders.
In this sense love is also a passion, a personally felt reaction about some object. He literally said that he does not "love adults doing what they love". That a thing he is not doing is fine is totally irrelevant. And neither is he opposed to "adults doing what they love".
That female bodybuilders love to lift weights does not in any way obligate him to love that they love it. And that was not even the question. He does not mind female bodybuilders 1) lifting weights or 2) loving to lift weights. He hates what he himself has been doing.
Then a completely different matter is that he is a thin guy who does not live the lifestyle. This is not the right spot to tell him to start living the lifestyle. Only a very small minority are ever going to do that and that's completely acceptable.
This is a great coming-to-grips moment that this form of entertainment is not real. If he said he fell in love with a cartoon princess but now found out that he will never meet a cartoon princess in real life, it would not be the right moment to defend cartoon princesses.
Then a third thing is that he feels sickened by the whole combination. He said nothing really about women taking PEDs. I think it's their business and if they're willing to destroy their health then all I know is they didn't ask me about it. But he is sickened by the combination of what he thinks is happening on their part, "harming their bodies" and "unnatural goals", and that instead of simply letting them do it, he feels compelled to worship them.
I have never had serious fantasies of meeting or dating any bodybuilder. I've sometimes daydreamed about how different situations would play out if I met a horny strong girl I liked, but I never feel any sadness about those. I usually stop when I begin to feel too awkward because a real person would never talk or behave in a way the daydream requires. In porn and daydreams the other person is automatically willing and interested.
The problem isn't his fetish. It's his lack of self-control. You should enjoy this fetish, but don't let it lead you to ruin. That's not fun or healthy. Practice self-control, speak to a therapist about it and they may be able to let you know if there's something else going on with you.
This is just engaging in wordplay. Sometimes wordplay can reveal something new about the subject, but in this case it simply creates more confusion. That is like saying "the problem is not his alcoholism, it's his lack of self-control". To him there is no fetish apart from lack of self-control. And neither do you ever say to an alcoholic that he should "enjoy his booze but never let it lead him to ruin". That's just pure nonsense. He has already, reasonably and validly decided that he does not want to "enjoy his fetish".
He is properly disgusted by a mental and emotional weakness that only secondarily leads to it. I can relate to this, because I may browse this site out of curiosity, but only tend to become hot and bothered when I'm anxious, frustrated or have met some setback. Many are here partially to console themselves. Only some lose track of reality.
Also, one does not simply "practice self-control" by "practicing self-control". It's not a thing you can push out of you when you feel the need. It's a set of skills that requires learning and can be hindered by many obstacles. Unrealistic expectations for oneself is only one of them.
Whats the purpose of critiquing all of our feed back like this zarklephaser4?
How is instructing some one to seek professional help before they ruin themselves problematic I don't understand what you're trying to do here explain yourself.
You are better off ignoring anything zarklephaser writes. He is legitimately unhinged and you will never get that time back.
How is instructing some one to seek professional help before they ruin themselves problematic
Now you have given me a good example of gaslighting. Suggestion to speak to a therapist was the only thing I did not criticize in your message (yet), because to me it was the only thing that made sense. And now you respond as if I criticized the only thing I didn't. You explain yourself.
I see how you must have thought it out. First you decided that I must be wrong in disagreeing with you, with no regard for what I actually said. The only thing that would have been wrong to criticize in your message was the suggestion to see a therapist. Ergo that must have been the thing I criticized, reality be damned. So in this alternative reality I owe you an explanation. In this reality I don't and you failed to actually challenge anything I said.
In these responses I see a pattern I'd call protecting the reputation of the fetish. In other words, you're protecting the reputation of a porn habit. Here are two sides to this issue. First is that on this site are real people participating in a real lifestyle or subculture. Though for some visitors here, including the subject of this thread, this is mostly or solely a porn habit.
A porn habit is what it is. Some adult humans may more or less voluntarily choose to have one. For some it turns out problematic. For some others not. That's the reality everyone lives in. To everyone there is a price, counted in time, money and sometimes mental health and lost opportunities. Some are willing to pay it, some are not and some are unaware of it. Some had all their problems already before they encountered this fetish, some others got theirs made worse by it, some feel they're doing just fine.
Now if you are sensitive to feeling guilt and shame about it or for some other reason need to deny someone else might run into problems, you would naturally express your denial by 1) blaming the victim and 2) telling him to act as if his problem was not a problem ("you should enjoy it", just hilarious, sorry if you didn't really mean it) and 3) relegating it to a mystery only knowable by a professional, ergo not to be discussed where some guilt-sensitive person might see it. You got caught not helping him but trying to sweep him under a rug.
It's very interesting how some see the fetish as a thing existing for its own sake, like a great institution or even a religion. In reality the fetish is just a side effect of a few unrelated things coming together. Practically none of the supply exists for the demand. There are next to no female bodybuilders motivated to lift weights so that random men from outside the subculture might get their jollies from it. All in all it's just a strange fascination, not a refined taste, rare sexual identity or any such thing.
Thank you for letting me know this mitten I can't stand people like this they make me sick.
I wonder what would have happened if she had kept it a secret even a little while longer.
I remember being pushed in my pram by my mother on the way into town ( I still remember exactly where ) and there was a woman on the opposite side, probably anywhere between 17-25 years old, she looked like a woman to me anyway ( rather than a girl) and she had amazing calfs. She was wearing a grey skirt that came just below her knees, wearing stilettos,I remember just staring at her her calfs as she gracefully walked passed with her calfs flexing with every step. I was obviously very young ad I was in a pushchair, but even at that age I thought holy shit she is sexy as fuck ( in baby language of course). There is nothing disgusting about it, these women really are sexy as fuck. Of course there are some extreme examples where its like OK you just look like a dude now but there's plenty of levels to choose from.
Edit: oh I forget, once I saw Rachel McLish and realised this was a thing then saw FloJo, which pulped me in further, then saw the like of Cory Everson and her fellow competitors it was game over for me, absolutely no way in going back. Normal girls were almost 2nd rate to me. I still really loved Normal girls but it was like champions league football vs Europa league.
Nope!
I got the idea that this discussion is about the deleted message quoted in the first post.
There is zero point in having a "discussion" with hundreds of replies, each one saying "not at all" or "yeah, a little" or "sometimes". Not every discussion is a poll and polls are usually advertised as such.
This is like some song contest people were once following in an online chat. The winning song had a chorus that went something like "ding dong" and so on. After the results came in the chat exploded in an endless stream of "ding", "dong" and "ding dong". For hours. Everyone just had to put his ding to someone else's dong and vice versa.
I know it sets a high barrier to entry if you're expected to not only read the first message but then to understand it and finally say something true, useful or interesting about it. It's far easier but does not add any value to anyone to just thumb up or thumb down the title.
I personally have an odium about this when I think back how unreal and untrue my imagined interactions with these women have been. But I try to make up for it by learning something new each time I fall for them. I don't even pretend to care what they would think of me, for the simple reason that none of them probably are even aware of my existence. And I think it's good that way. On average I don't expect I'd enjoy meeting any one of them. I'm just repulsed by the idea of fooling myself repeatedly. On one hand I could regret the time lost, but on the other hand I've got no idea what else I could have done.
Interestingly, at least to me, Vaknin has repeated in a few of his recent videos the adage that psychotics see their internal objects in the outside world, whereas narcissists see the outside world as their internal objects. In other words, it's psychotic to feel guilt about objectifying these women while thinking or feeling or even talking as if they were aware of what you personally are doing. But it is narcissistic to think that people in the real world can be molded and manipulated the way you can do to things inside your head. Many of these women are actually put off, even shocked, when they realize someone perceives them as a thing inside his head. This matters a lot in cam sessions.
A psychotic is aware of suffering of others that does not exist. A narcissist is unaware of suffering of others that does exist. There's nothing that would stop both from taking place in the same person.
Disgusted by the fetish? not in the slightest
Disgusted by the troglodytes who share the fetish? Absolutely.
There's some truly deranged people on this and other forums who give everyone a bad rep. To make it worse they "talk" to the models, be it on hbcs or through social media and make an image for the rest of us who can enjoy the fetish in healthy way.
I was going to respond to zarklephaser4, but ultimately decided he sounds too full of himself and it wouldn't be worth the effort.
Responding to the thread in general, I agree with the everyone's (other than zarkle) overall sentiment. For me, I also set boundaries on how much I decide to spend on this. The few times I've spent more than I wanted, I quickly adjust and sometimes I would go a month or 2 not spending a penny. Those always feel good :)
As with the original poster, I'm also in a situation where it'd be almost impossible for me to encounter a woman who is like the ones I pay videos for. Even if I did, I still wouldn't be able to do much about it since I'm not single. I travel for work once in a while, and I've at times fantasized about setting up a session in my travel with someone just to try it once. The truth is, I absolutely wouldn't be interested in anything other than just feeling manhandled by a strong woman. But the fact that I'd be aroused by that also feel like "cheating" to me, so I've just decided it'll never happen.
Ultimately, I don't think there's anything wrong about having these fetishes as long as we set boundaries.
I was going to respond to zarklephaser4, but ultimately decided he sounds too full of himself and it wouldn't be worth the effort.
Not going to rescue me from my foolishness. How sad. I was going to ask another person in this discussion if he responded with an insult because he has a hard time telling between criticism and insults, but then decided against it. Now I see it's a far more relevant question than I thought.
I either take that other people here aren't worth educating about my misguided opinions. Or that you decided to do it anyway.
So this so-called "overall sentiment" is that "don't become addicted", or "don't be you, be smart like me". I think the original message was from the discussion about unpopular opinions and it is clearly an unpopular opinion that one can become miserably addicted to this fetish. The overall sentiment is simply "don't", but phrased in a few different ways. Of course it is good data to know that self-control is possible and that addiction is not inevitable. Except that like with all addictions, it depends on the person and his situation.
The way to get there is, I think, to educate oneself about the nature of fetishes in general. Especially the fact that a sexual high is never going to translate into social or emotional peace or acceptance. There's an unbridgeable chasm between real relationships and simulated and bought relationships. Your story proves that real relationships work against simulated and bought relationships. To prevent addiction, everyone should get real relationships. Except that then they would lament how it limits their adventures and exploration.
I think the original addict had a valid point. Everyone's been ever since trying to prove that he didn't.
Ultimately, I don't think there's anything wrong about having these fetishes as long as we set boundaries.
Right and wrong do not exist on their own but in relation to some given goal. If the goal is to not shock anyone by objectifying them to their face then that's probably doable. If the goal is not to regret money spent then that's also doable. To not regret time spent might prove more difficult. To not objectify another person in one's mind likewise harder to accomplish. I still get the idea that you're not actually trying to answer the question. For some reason people think that if one person can become miserably addicted then they need to somehow justify themselves to keep going.
"I need sexually tinted daydreams and fantasies for my happiness and well-being more than I need to be a person who never uses the likenesses of other persons in his fantasies." In other words it depends on what you think is more wrong or less wrong. On the other hand everyone seems to agree with the original writer that it's wrong to not be able to control one's spending. I think the point of the discussion is the reason why he did it, or why did this become a disgusting thing for him. Not the fact that not everyone does it, because I think that's obvious to everyone already.
I was going to respond to zarklephaser4, but ultimately decided he sounds too full of himself and it wouldn't be worth the effort.
Zero engagement is your best option. I'll admit his assumption that he is 'educating' anyone by spewing complete random nonsense, has some comedic value. But yeah, not worth your time to try to reason with him.
I'll admit his assumption that he is 'educating' anyone
What assumption? Where did you get this from?
It appears he deleted his original post and his GWM account. He will most likely return to the forum with a new username within a few months. This fetish is an obvious part of his life. It will have to be fed.
That's a shame hopefully they come back I've gone through something similar and therapy is what helped me. Health is wealth.
There is nothing disgusting about what you are into. It's OK to love adults doing what they love.
I feel you, brother, I do. Set a budget, stay within that budget. If you need a support group that helps people to deal with addictions, put in the work and find one. You're on this website, so I know you have internet access. There are groups and therapists online that can provide support at low or no cost to you, but will require effort on your part. I'm not a psychologist or sociologist, but it's up to you to show up for yourself in that regard. No one can attend the meetings or counseling sessions for you. But you can find a place that will help you with the struggle and do so without judging you for it. Without going into details, I will tell you I have been in those spaces and seen what they can do for the people who are committed.
I am also a "weak man", physically speaking. In all other aspects of my being, I am quite strong. I'm confident about who and what I am, which includes how I embrace and engage with my fetish. Yes, my work makes me very much an outlier in these conversations, but I, too, I am a paying customer. I belong to probably 10 OnlyFans accounts and have previously tried at least a dozen more. I've bought dozens of PPV clips from various sites and also have been a member of 2 solo model paysites for at least 5 years without ever canceling, not to mention the thousands I've spent on customs, and many many multiples I've spent on sessions.
My first wife did not approve of my work or my spending. She decided to divorce me after reading an email where I discussed details of setting up a session (which never happened). She filed about 6 months later. In her mind, any money I spent on my fetish was taking food off our table and if I encouraged others to spend on a fetish, I was "harming their families", too. And also, wrestling other women was "cheating" in her book. Though I did and do love her, for at least the first 10 years we knew one another (married less than 2, but have a child together), she held these views. And guess what? It was not irrational or abnormal. Lots of people feel the same about fetishes and live sessions. I find fetish exploration helps ME maintain healthy balance in other areas of my life, but not everyone's mind works that way.
That said, if you're saying that you want this to be healthier for you, I absolutely agree with you and hope that you will reach out and investigate resources until you find what works for you in that regard. But as a forum-mate, I want you to love yourself for being honest about all this, both your love of muscular women and your desire to get healthier with the ways you enjoy it.
Best wishes.