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Absolutely share it with your partner….. The appreciation of muscle (male and female) is like appreciating fine art…. I let my wife know about my appreciation of female muscle years ago and as a result our sex life is off the charts…. It’s important to let your partner know what excites you….
May I ask, how did the sex life become off the charts? Did she then start working out or does she do other stuff that gets you going?
It's a mixed result in my experience but if you are thinking long term partners you should share your fetishes and interests because you should be honest with your partner. From my experience it results in a more open bedroom at the expense of a gf/wife who is mildly more self conscious about her body image as well as HYPER FUCKING AWARE of any muscle girl in sight and monitors like an AEGIS system if I look in the general direction. Doesn't get upset but just says "yeah I see her too".
It's a mixed result in my experience but if you are thinking long term partners you should share your fetishes and interests because you should be honest with your partner. From my experience it results in a more open bedroom at the expense of a gf/wife who is mildly more self conscious about her body image as well as HYPER FUCKING AWARE of any muscle girl in sight and monitors like an AEGIS system if I look in the general direction. Doesn't get upset but just says "yeah I see her too".
I’m afraid of this. I don’t want to spark or create any new insecurities for her. But also don’t know if it would be healthy to constantly internally hold in my fetish forever, especially if we end up married down the line
Absolutely share it! I told my wife very openly (showed her GWM, all my saved muscle girl photos and videos, etc.), and not only has she started to gain muscle for me (and flexes for me whenever I want), she also lets me session when I want, and it has made our sex life (and relationship overall) incredible. The openness is freeing, and creates lots of trust. Definitely be mindful of how you tell your partner given her personality and etc. (as others have mentioned, take any insecurities into account), but I think being open and honest can only make things better for both of you.
Absolutely share it! I told my wife very openly (showed her GWM, all my saved muscle girl photos and videos, etc.), and not only has she started to gain muscle for me (and flexes for me whenever I want), she also lets me session when I want, and it has made our sex life (and relationship overall) incredible. The openness is freeing, and creates lots of trust. Definitely be mindful of how you tell your partner given her personality and etc. (as others have mentioned, take any insecurities into account), but I think being open and honest can only make things better for both of you.
When you say session, do you mean your wife lets you have 1 on 1 sessions with muscle women?
When you say session, do you mean your wife lets you have 1 on 1 sessions with muscle women?
Yes, exactly. She has zero problem with it, and encourages me to, because she knows that I have specific needs that can only be met by female bodybuilders (although she's started lifting, my wife is not willing to go on gear so she'll never have huge, ripped, solid muscles like a physique competitor for example). It makes our relationship stronger because I don't have to hide those needs (or sneak around to get them fulfilled). And I'm very satisfied having the chance to session regularly!
I have both muscle and bimbo fetishes, so I was wondering the same thing. My other follow up questions for the crowd are:
Possible benefits of telling her by probability:
Potential risks of telling her:
A few years back I was in a short relationship with an out of shape former figure skater. I hinted at my preferences for muscle women a few times to test the waters, but stopped short of showing her what I like on GWM. She mostly laughed it off, but I felt that I was making her a little self-conscious so I backed off. I eventually broke things off after she went down the HAES rabbit hole, among other compatibility issues. I’ve been coy about my real preferences in more recent relationships, but I’m wondering if I should go the radical candor route early on this time around.
There are no guarantees in life, so sharing this might go any number of ways.
But I make a point of sharing with my gfs, as I refuse to a) live my life like some kind of fugitive and b) build relationships on lies, half-truths and subterfuge.
Even when it goes awry, you know you tried. Beats the regret of the alternative.
On to the rest.
- What is the goal/desired outcome of disclosing your fetish?
Sharing the experience, training together etc.
- Would you leave your partner for (or have an affair with) an FBB/fitness model if the opportunity presented itself? How do you reassure your partner that you won’t?
No. One can have the hots for whatever but character is what makes lasting relationships. No amount of muscle will lead me to or keep me in a relationship "automagically" if there's no substance to build upon.
- When is the best time in the relationship to disclose it? Date 3 or married for 10+ years?
Early is best. Springing it to someone after ages in can feel like a betrayal of sorts, making any conversation more difficult and not because of the topic itself. Similarly, can't just blurt it out from the off, as if it makes sense for people to immediately explain to everyone what they're into. Reading the room dictates the timing.
- Do you do it Directly or do you Trickle Truth it?
Depends on the person. There's no universally ideal approach.
Personally, radical candor was the foundation of my entire wonderful marriage, right from the start. We talked about everything on date 3 - family, politics, religion, kids, life plans, etc., and of course sexual preferences. Earlier is always better. Either the relationship will work or it won't, and then you'll know right from the start rather than tiptoeing around things for months or years before figuring out things won't work.
Anyway! On to specifics.
The goal/outcome of disclosing my fetish was 1) to see if my wife would be willing to lift/put on muscle for me, 2) to let me continue my sessions and other pre-marriage fetish-related habits.
My marriage is ethically non-monogamous, so there's no fear of cheating or leaving or anything. Me attending sessions is something that is part of our marriage in order to help me get sexual satisfaction that I can't get from my wife (she lifts but doesn't have the level of muscle solidness/conditioning of pro competitors). I even participate in "extras" because we've discussed it and my wife is ok with that as well. There is absolutely zero reason for me to have an affair or leave my wife. There's no constant reassurance needed because we trust each other and because of the nature of our relationship.
As indicated above - date 3 all the way!
Also as indicated above - talked about it completely directly and matter-of-factly.
I appreciate this probably isn't a typical situation but it's how things have worked out for me!
I have both muscle and bimbo fetishes, so I was wondering the same thing. My other follow up questions for the crowd are:
- What is the goal/desired outcome of disclosing your fetish?
- Would you leave your partner for (or have an affair with) an FBB/fitness model if the opportunity presented itself? How do you reassure your partner that you won’t?
- When is the best time in the relationship to disclose it? Date 3 or married for 10+ years?
- Do you do it Directly or do you Trickle Truth it?
Possible benefits of telling her by probability:
- [High] Free my conscious, thrill of admitting a “major” secret. Show vulnerability, and encourage her to also share her fetishes.
- [Medium] Permission to continue with my current fetish related habits without repercussions or having to hide it.
- [Low] She starts actively participating in my fetish related habits and role-playing during foreplay.
- [Fantasy] She goes for a boob job consultation, starts lifting heavy and taking Anavar.
Potential risks of telling her:
- [High] Difficult conversation about boundaries around current fetish habits or ultimatums about stopping/limiting them.
- [Medium] Imply I don’t find her physically attractive and cause immediate or eventual relationship failure.
- [Medium] Make her self-conscious that she is fat/ugly and her physique isn’t good enough.
- [Low] In a rage, she breaks out the public humiliation megaphone and outs my secrets to my friends, family and employer.
A few years back I was in a short relationship with an out of shape former figure skater. I hinted at my preferences for muscle women a few times to test the waters, but stopped short of showing her what I like on GWM. She mostly laughed it off, but I felt that I was making her a little self-conscious so I backed off. I eventually broke things off after she went down the HAES rabbit hole, among other compatibility issues. I’ve been coy about my real preferences in more recent relationships, but I’m wondering if I should go the radical candor route early on this time around.
Whew....
There are a couple things only you know:
1) the degree of importance your fetishes hold in your life
2) what sort of relationship you want
Now, what you can't do is to predict the future. You can't really know how those current knowns will change throughout your life, but generally, I think you make the best choices you can now and then deal with "later" when it gets here.
Boundaries and self-control are extremely important in all our lives. I'm 10/10 with regard to my fetishes. Prior to my first marriage, I disclosed early what I was into. She was a tall, strong girl - nice - but not athletic and not a wrestler. That's not why our relationship did not work out. Even if she had been a fighter who was totally into my all the things, we had so many other incompatibilities outside the fetish that it never would have lasted.
Before getting married a second time, I knew I was only willing to date girls who could wrestle. Why? Well, that's my thing - I love fighter chicks. That meant a smaller dating pool, so what? I let her know from the very start and she gave me her resumé. lol Long story short, it's been 6 pretty great years, because I was fully transparent AND INTENTIONAL from the start and it turns out that she just happened to be a fucking natural at the shit I enjoy most.
YMMV, but the more honest you can be with yourself about how important your fetish is to you, the more easily you'll be able to communicate that to your partner prospects.
I revealed my fetish, both for this and, heaven help me, women’s wrestling, to my ex. And that word “ex” pretty much tells you the end result. She wasn’t hostile, exactly. But I was informed in no uncertain terms that she was not going to change her lifestyle or engage in any activities she didn’t want just to satisfy a fetish of mine.
Personally, radical candor was the foundation of my entire wonderful marriage, right from the start. We talked about everything on date 3 - family, politics, religion, kids, life plans, etc., and of course sexual preferences. Earlier is always better. Either the relationship will work or it won't, and then you'll know right from the start rather than tiptoeing around things for months or years before figuring out things won't work.
Anyway! On to specifics.
The goal/outcome of disclosing my fetish was 1) to see if my wife would be willing to lift/put on muscle for me, 2) to let me continue my sessions and other pre-marriage fetish-related habits.
My marriage is ethically non-monogamous, so there's no fear of cheating or leaving or anything. Me attending sessions is something that is part of our marriage in order to help me get sexual satisfaction that I can't get from my wife (she lifts but doesn't have the level of muscle solidness/conditioning of pro competitors). I even participate in "extras" because we've discussed it and my wife is ok with that as well. There is absolutely zero reason for me to have an affair or leave my wife. There's no constant reassurance needed because we trust each other and because of the nature of our relationship.
As indicated above - date 3 all the way!
Also as indicated above - talked about it completely directly and matter-of-factly.
I appreciate this probably isn't a typical situation but it's how things have worked out for me!
Does your wife have a six pack?
YMMV, but the more honest you can be with yourself about how important your fetish is to you, the more easily you'll be able to communicate that to your partner prospects.
Thanks for the advice, this forum has been considerably more understanding/helpful on this subject than Reddit. In terms of importance it waxes and wanes over time. Or at least in my personal hierarchy of needs it is after having my emotional needs for company and human contact met in a stable relationship. I think my cardinal sin was pursuing women I’m not physically attracted to, just to avoid being single. At the same time I don’t want to spend the next 5 years unicorn hunting only to blow it due to atrophied soft skills.
I’d say the minimum non-fetish fitness requirement for me is the ability to go hiking all day with some light scrambling and not be a total boat anchor / liability on the trip. I felt frustrated with my most recent ex on our last vacation together because of that.
She's got just a 4 pack right now but a 6 pack is the goal! She's mainly focused on building up her upper body to match her lower so she's in a clean bulk right now. A cut will follow when she's reached her goals, and then it's 6 pack and vascularity time!
The before & after progress pictures are a big part of the fetish for me. So I’d love to have a partner willing to “level up” for/with me! I'll try test out talking about it with some dates.
Surprised no one’s gotten the reaction I got— hysterical laughter, followed by, “Yeah, like YOU could get that!” Not my proudest moment.
That’s amazing, you are one lucky guy. You don’t by any chance have any pics to post of her current 4 pack do you?>
She's got just a 4 pack right now but a 6 pack is the goal! She's mainly focused on building up her upper body to match her lower so she's in a clean bulk right now. A cut will follow when she's reached her goals, and then it's 6 pack and vascularity time!
I have an incredible partner and love her very much, but find myself lusting over many FBBs. Does your partner know about your fetish? And if so, how did you approach her about it, and how did she react?
Wondering if it's just something I should keep to myself forever.