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The disconnect is obvious. There is no correlation between a woman who wants to be muscular and a guy who admirers muscles on a woman. Therefore the solution is only to meet a muscular woman like you meet any woman. I do agree that muscular women tend to like muscles and the lifestyle in general and therefore you are better off if you are muscular too. I have only once in my life had a sexual encounter with a woman that actually chose to sleep with me because I was attracted to her muscles. It still haunts me and I’m looking for that situation again everyday. So even if I have encounters with muscular ladies quite often it is not what I’m looking for. What I also have learned is that muscular women with a low self esteem tend to boost themselves with “schmoes”, but usually stop doing it after a while because it’s not what they are looking for. Like any other woman they want to be loved for what they are. Not for what they do. So the disconnected is normal and nothing that can be fixed in my opinion.
The woman, should keep the feminine qualities of a woman in a muscular body. The biggest turn off for me is Protien breath. It’s, not having the feminine personality…. Need that super girly attitude in a muscular body
A guy who only wants a muscular woman is destined to never have a relationship with one because he's not actually looking for a relationship. He's looking to satisfy a kink. Who wants to be nothing more than your kink? That only works as a business transaction.
A guy who only wants a muscular woman is destined to never have a relationship with one because he's not actually looking for a relationship. He's looking to satisfy a kink. Who wants to be nothing more than your kink? That only works as a business transaction.
I see your point, but respectfully, I don't think this is entirely accurate. Everybody has kinks, all kinds. Surely it must be possible to find a person that satisfies your kinks but also has a compatible personality to share a relationship?
I mean I guess it would have to depend on what you're looking for, but at the very least you would either have to take the gym semi-seriously yourself or respect that part of their life.
I have a friend who told me, fairly recently, after only a few years of practicing jiujitsu, that she doesn't think that she could ever date anyone that doesn't do bjj. Another friend dates a woman he met at our (former) crossfit gym. He's in great shape and she's decidedly normal, but she does take it seriously enough. I dropped in a gym last week and all the fittest women had very fit boyfriends or girlfriends.
Personally, I don't think I could ever date anyone that does not take health and fitness seriously. We don't need to be attached at the hip at the gym, but I would hope that she does something active.
However, I think there's a larger chasm driven my the admiring itself, and too many guys are driven by the fetish. Swiping right on girls because you might get a chance to cop a feel of a bicep or something ain't gonna get you what you're looking for, if you're looking for a relationship, that is.
I nearly torpedoed a friendship because I got a little too into her muscles, and I DID torpedo an opportunity I had with a woman because I was a little too into her body.
But basically just go to the gym and be a regular person toward people.
Muscular women aren't a monolith, they're people with a hobby and there's just as much diversity of thought amongst them as with any other group of women. That's the biggest disconnect I've noticed and it's funny because so many people argue about the minutiae without realizing that both sides of the argument are likely to be wrong if they're using stereotypes as support for their beliefs.
Muscular women aren't a monolith, they're people with a hobby and there's just as much diversity of thought amongst them as with any other group of women. That's the biggest disconnect I've noticed and it's funny because so many people argue about the minutiae without realizing that both sides of the argument are likely to be wrong if they're using stereotypes as support for their beliefs.
I was going to post my opinion, but you did it first. 100% this.
Have you ever met a movie star or popular athlete? If this was someone you were fascinated by, there was extra meaning to the moments you were with them. If your interest in a woman includes a fascination with them (and their physique), there is extra meaning to meeting them (rare, exotic, distant, etc).
Many people get anxious when fascinated by someone. They become awkward as each word/action feels extra important and they second-guess themselves in real time. They are emotionally invested in the outcome of the interaction. Beautiful women have this effect on men and for most of us, fitness and muscularity is beautiful. So... we stammer a bit as we become starstruck.
There is a skill to being comfortable and not anxious while our instincts/hormones are pushing us toward excitement (learn meditation as it helps teach us how to intercept anxious thoughts/feelings). Muscular people prioritize the gym. If someone wants to become comfortable around them, I would suggest that they need to become comfortable in a gym. I suspect that only modest fitness is necessary (enough to be comfortable and not feel out-of-place or awkward). Adopt the lifestyle to some extent and welcome social connections. Get past the awkward feelings then apply healthy relationship skills (if you want a connection that lasts).
My 2 cents... things I didn't understand when I was younger.
I see your point, but respectfully, I don't think this is entirely accurate. Everybody has kinks, all kinds. Surely it must be possible to find a person that satisfies your kinks but also has a compatible personality to share a relationship?
I think that is Half’s point. The kink can’t be the only connection. There also has to be some other attraction in the end, whether physical or emotional.
I think that is Half’s point. The kink can’t be the only connection. There also has to be some other attraction in the end, whether physical or emotional.
Yeah, I kind of misread that, sorry.
My point was it's very possible to incorporate your kinks into your relationship if that is your goal.
Obviously there is going to be a disconnect if all you want from a woman is to satisfy your kink. At that point you're just treating them like an object.
In my experience you get the best results with women (any women, regardless of muscle mass) when you treat them like, well, normal people. Not sex objects and not gods.
In my experience you get the best results with women (any women, regardless of muscle mass) when you treat them like, well, normal people. Not sex objects and not gods.
This is truth, right here.
You can randomly pick any attribute/behavior that could potentially elevate attractiveness. Let’s pretend— red hair, for example.
There are many women with red hair who have many different personalities. Now imagine, regardless of any other physical or emotional factors, you are a woman with red hair, and all these men are interested in you only because of that. I imagine that would get pretty annoying. And I am imagine that their attention would start to seem very superficial, because it is based on only one dimension of a complex person.
This dynamic is precisely why I advise those people here who are interested in muscular women to go get involved in an athletic hobby. Doesn’t even need to be weightlifting. But it teaches firsthand how such an activity integrates with the holistic life of an individual. Until you understand and internalize this, it will be hard for the object of your attraction not to feel objectified by such a singular focused interest on one superficial aspect of life.
And a final thought to keep in mind, which is truly a disconnect: most of these women are not increasing their level of muscularity to become more sexually attractive for you. Hard to imagine, but this is true. Their motivations are much more internal and complex.
The woman, should keep the feminine qualities of a woman in a muscular body. The biggest turn off for me is Protien breath. It’s, not having the feminine personality…. Need that super girly attitude in a muscular body
In response to fantasy questions like "What does your ideal muscular woman look like?" I always respond the same way: Tetsuko. Or any of David C. Matthews's drawn muscle babes. He has the perfect way of making them look and seem feminine even with arbitrarily huge muscular bodies. And I realize that's fantasy, and the endocrinological miracle that can make women huge without any virilization at all hasn't happened yet.
I have been into muscular women for pretty much my whole life, and fortunately, being involved in strength sports (I am a crossfitter) and also competing in events has given me the means to network with muscular, fit women. However, as an admirer I have also been around online communities like this, and something I have noticed is that the vast majority of people who are into these kind of women struggle with interacting with them. I often see threads asking how to get with female bodybuilders or muscular women in general, threads about running into muscular women but not talking to them (or having an awkward interaction with them, and the like. And while it not exclusive with all buff women, there are more than a few who have a pretty negative opinion of “schmoes” (using their word.)
Which leads me to this question: as a community, what do you think are the biggest disconnects between buff women, and the men who admire them? Is it because most don’t live a fit lifestyle like these women do? Is it because “fans” don’t know how to interact with them without coming off as awkward? Are there other reasons? It’s obvious that there are fewer muscular women than there are men who are attracted to them, but there is still that barrier that I see a lot of guys struggle with? What can we do as a community to break that disconnect? And, in reference to this website in particular, there have been more than a few instances where a bodybuilder or muscular athlete comes here, interacts for a bit but then disappears, as an example.
It's all make-believe, man. There's a tiny subset of fuckers out there who have an outsized impact on what perceptions OF those perceptions are. I'm talking about mom's basement guy who has no life outside of video games and his AI girlfriend, so he can afford to dedicate hundreds of hours a year to DM'ing girls who are way out of his league. And because he knows they're out of his league, he's happy to be disruptive. Then there the guys who are a little closer to "normies", and they don't have any malicious intent when they reach out to a girl. But they also don't have any realistic sense of boundaries either, so they, too, are problematic in the eyes of the women they target.
So, despite what appears to be the case on this or any other forum - and I've seen so many others project similar sentiment - there is not some large population (or percentage) of socially awkward, immature late developers roaming lost around the female muscle universe and hoping to find kind-hearted musclegirls to indulge them. The huge majority of muscle fans are - no shade intended - regular guys with lives that include relationships, work, religious practice, family, hobbies, etc...and a more-than-casual interest in female muscle just happens to be one of those hobbies.
That may not be what you see as the majority of guys who post on forums, but that is the female muscle fan universe. When a girl sounds off on her social media because she's frustrated, it ain't that HUGE majority who set her off - it's the small subset. And while her frustration is often legitimate, sometimes she just wants the attention that comes from mocking Awkward Guy, knowing she can count on a bunch of gym bros to pile on in the Instagram thread. She gets a payoff from that kind of support, even if some others might view her as a _____. None of us gets to determine what makes another person tick, right?
The real kicker is that the sociopaths among muscle fans know that a single one of them doing their gremlin shit (although apparently "goblin" is the going word nowadays) can fuck it up for everyone else and they don't fucking care. A single one of them doing their usual can completely erase the goodwill built during hundreds of positive encounters with the good guys. Sucks, but that is our reality.
So, in closing, the same thing that was true 25 years ago is still true today: the guys who treat women with muscle the same as they treat all other women tend to be WAY ahead of the curve when it comes to fostering relationships.
So, despite what appears to be the case on this or any other forum - and I've seen so many others project similar sentiment - there is not some large population (or percentage) of socially awkward, immature late developers roaming lost around the female muscle universe and hoping to find kind-hearted musclegirls to indulge them. The huge majority of muscle fans are - no shade intended - regular guys with lives that include relationships, work, religious practice, family, hobbies, etc...and a more-than-casual interest in female muscle just happens to be one of those hobbies.
So, in closing, the same thing that was true 25 years ago is still true today: the guys who treat women with muscle the same as they treat all other women tend to be WAY ahead of the curve when it comes to fostering relationships.
This is a great perspective, thank you.
Yeah, I kind of misread that, sorry.
My point was it's very possible to incorporate your kinks into your relationship if that is your goal.
Obviously there is going to be a disconnect if all you want from a woman is to satisfy your kink. At that point you're just treating them like an object.
In my experience you get the best results with women (any women, regardless of muscle mass) when you treat them like, well, normal people. Not sex objects and not gods.
Yup, now I’m tracking and agree 100%
For the women it's about being strong and healthy, and for the guys... it's about idealizing the woman into a cartoon character, more or less.
Gatsby28 have you ever met or saw in person a schmoe "admirer"?
"Muscular women" you mean a women who compete or a woman who lifts some weights 3 times/week and does some yoga?
It is important for everyone to be specific because the gym bunny is a total different species than Dana Linn Bailey or Dani Speegle.
It is important for everyone to be specific because the gym bunny is a total different species than Dana Linn Bailey or Dani Speegle.
Nah. Same species, only the hormone profile is different.
Nah. Same species, only the hormone profile is different.
But.. DLB is totally natural. If she took PEDs she would be bigger than Iris Kyle. She said so herself.
I have been into muscular women for pretty much my whole life, and fortunately, being involved in strength sports (I am a crossfitter) and also competing in events has given me the means to network with muscular, fit women. However, as an admirer I have also been around online communities like this, and something I have noticed is that the vast majority of people who are into these kind of women struggle with interacting with them. I often see threads asking how to get with female bodybuilders or muscular women in general, threads about running into muscular women but not talking to them (or having an awkward interaction with them, and the like. And while it not exclusive with all buff women, there are more than a few who have a pretty negative opinion of “schmoes” (using their word.)
Which leads me to this question: as a community, what do you think are the biggest disconnects between buff women, and the men who admire them? Is it because most don’t live a fit lifestyle like these women do? Is it because “fans” don’t know how to interact with them without coming off as awkward? Are there other reasons? It’s obvious that there are fewer muscular women than there are men who are attracted to them, but there is still that barrier that I see a lot of guys struggle with? What can we do as a community to break that disconnect? And, in reference to this website in particular, there have been more than a few instances where a bodybuilder or muscular athlete comes here, interacts for a bit but then disappears, as an example.