Body Dysmorphia

Emma Lusby posted this to Instagram:

"Long post: Body dysmorphia is not for the faint hearted.

I get it. I don’t look like I used to, in the past I was defined by my muscular build. I picked up some heavy weights. Every place I went I was asked if I competed, I had people tell me I was their inspiration for getting in the gym. I felt proud of myself and all I worked for. However, It was apparent to me I needed to get myself off the throne in my life and I decided to let it go, to slow down and refocus and put my health first.

It’s been 4 years since then and I’ve lost nearly all my mass and strength and I struggle with it daily. You don’t see me in shorts or tank tops often and never anything that shows skin and there’s much mental strife behind that. I’m still not used to a body not stacked with muscle. I struggle thinking I don’t look good enough and quite honestly I’ll never be happy with the way my body looks, I wasn’t then, and certainly aren’t now. I hear all too often, and It’s triggering when people say “you’ve lost weight!” “Your looking small!” I know I have, and I lost a lot of who I was as well. I am finding new ways to define myself instead of the bodybuilder."

I think it was Johnny Bravo who said he only took small amounts of gear because large doses were unsustainable; he knew he'd have to lose a lot of mass eventually, which would be psychologically damaging. That's pretty good thinking since humans are strongly inclined toward loss aversion, and it's substantially more difficult to regret what you never had.

ETA: Just to be clear: Top photo is pre-bodybuilding. Bottom is when she was hard-core. Today there are not as many pictures showing her physique, but I'd say she looks like an actress who works out.

I think she’s beautiful in the top photo. I’ll bet 80 percent of all bodybuilders have the same issues. Its a shame watching the train wreck play out for some all on social media. The drive for “likes” will have some inject anything into themselves to be accepted.

It's a shame because she really does have a distorted perception of herself. Sure, she's lost some muscle, but even now she is much more muscular than the average woman. By the way, the top photo in the original post is from before she started lifting. She's currently much bigger than that.

I think body dysmorphia is quite common among body builders. I mean there must be a reason why you'd want to grow/change constantly. You also see a lot of previously anorexic girls who are now buffed out and obsessed with being muscular. It's just the other end of the spectrum.

Body dysmorphia is a real thing and it sucks. I train for functional fitness versus aesthetics, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t like how my physique looks, and how much I struggle when injuries sideline me from the gym and I lose my “gains.”

I think social media worsens it because you are surrounded by men and women who are literally in perfect, and at times unsustainable condition. Not to mention how rampant drug use is amongst fitness influencers, it’s easy to see someone becoming discouraged when, even after training hard for years, they don’t look like their favorite influencer.

Body dysmorphia is a real thing and it sucks. I train for functional fitness versus aesthetics, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t like how my physique looks, and how much I struggle when injuries sideline me from the gym and I lose my “gains.”

I think social media worsens it because you are surrounded by men and women who are literally in perfect, and at times unsustainable condition. Not to mention how rampant drug use is amongst fitness influencers, it’s easy to see someone becoming discouraged when, even after training hard for years, they don’t look like their favorite influencer.

Agree completely. Social media is a danger on many fronts.

It's always sad when you see somebody struggling with body issues go from one extreme to the other. Anorexia --> bodybuilder is a scary pipeline that's all too often celebrated as an accomplishment when more often the reality is that it's exchanging one unhealthy state of being for another.

I'm not saying that weight training can't be a healthy means of overcoming issues like that, but it isn't in and of itself if you aren't addressing the things that are causing the dysmorphia in parallel with the weight training.

I think what she wrote is remarkably honest and vulnerable. I admire her prioritization of mental and physical health.