I searched around the forums for posts and suggestions on how to get wives and girlfriends into the gym. I've noticed this is something that a lot of people here are interested in. I will refer to wife/girlfriend as wife—just to make things easier. So I've written a plan for it. I got my wife into the gym, but I never got her to strength train. I very well could have.
Leading by Example
To get your wife into the gym, you have to lead by example. You must start going to the gym, and working out hard. She needs to see changes in you. Through that you can influence her to start going with you. You will also need to change your diet and eat cleaner. It will improve your gains. There are some genetic freaks that don’t need to do this, but most people will.
The effort will vary by the wife. Some will see you, get excited and immediately join. Others will be more reluctant; subtle, and low pressure persistence will be necessary. Remember, when she sees you change, physically and mentally, she will want to join in that. That is the frame necessary to bring her into the gym. You have your wife’s best interests at heart. Plus, she will look better. But, don’t tell her that yet.
A Bonding Activity
Always frame it as something you want to do together—as a way to bond; never as a way for her to lose weight, gain muscle, look better, etc. It’s a joint activity. It does work to bond you together (I remember it being awesome). Physical activity is a great way to bond with your wife, and rekindle the relationship.
Diffuse the questions:“Do you think I’m fat?” “Do you think I need to lose weight?” “Are you not attracted to me the way I am?” with agree and amplify tactics. (Google that) Never answer any question about this directly.
Bring the gym home
If you are serious about fitness, and can afford a home gym, this is one of the best ways to get your wife into fitness. It obviates excuses and she will feel a lot less intimidated around familiar people.
Different fitness levels
Depending on the fitness level of your wife, you will have to start her off with different activities. You might need to start with a walk around the block. When I started my wife on this, we could only walk around the block. We built that up to 3 miles within six months. Once you have your wife taking walks with you that exceed 1 mile, then you can add in some strength training and HIIT training.
My recommendation is a 5x5 program for strength, and a HIIT cardio program. Pick three days for strength with at least a day of rest or HIIT between strength sessions. Take at least one day completely off (no HIIT or strength) per week. Program in 2-3 HIIT sessions per week. For more details Google “5x5 strength training” and “HIIT cardio”.
HIIT cardio.
High-intensity Interval Training is a way to accomplish more cardio benefits with less time. In a 15-30 minute session you can get the same results as 45-60 minutes, as proven by scientific studies. Your session is divided into intervals of high intensity work and lower intensity recovery lasting from 15-90 seconds. The recovery intervals correspond to 60-70% MHR or Maximum Heart Rate. The work intervals 90-100% MHR. Your MHR can be calculated by subtracting your age from 220. If you are 20 years old, then your MHR is 220 – 20 or 200.
A basic program might consist of 60/60 intervals. That means 60 seconds of work, and 60 seconds of recovery. You continue alternating between work and recovery for the duration of the session. Here’s an example.
On the elliptical machine you might do the following for a 20 minute session. Take a 2 minute warm up at a moderate intensity. Start your first 60 second work interval. Increase the resistance on the elliptical machine and monitor your heart and rate. Try to push it into the target zone of 90-100% MHR. After 60 seconds enter your recovery interval. Reduce the resistance and try to keep your HR elevated above 60% but not above 70% MHR for the next 60 seconds. Start the next work interval, following it with another recovery interval, and repeat until the session is over.
5x5 Strength Program.
It consists of 5 fundamental exercises that train the frame. Basically you do them, increasing the weight. It builds up the basic frame. From there you can add on additional exercises to target and grow specific groups: bis, tris, abs, delts, glutes, quads, hams, etc. 5x5 is the best beginners program, and you see results fast. Just Google it for details.
Nutrition
One of the best ways to do it is just a basic 40/30/30 split between carbs, protein, and fats. Additional protein might be necessary. This is again where research is necessary.
Q & A
My wife complains about pains, etc. Will this make things worse?
Exercise helps alleviate many types of pain and inflammation. If she has any doubts, tell her to consult with a doctor. I am very confident she will experience less pain as she begins to engage in regular exercise.
My wife is un-athletic, morbidly obese and has trouble with exercise. Can she really do this?
The key is to get her up and moving. Like I mentioned, a walk around the block is better than nothing. There will likely have to be dietary changes as well. You will have work together to make the dietary changes. That might be the hardest part.
I can’t get my wife to workout with me, what do I do?
You can start with yourself. Make the changes on your own, and have her notice the difference. You can emphasize how important it would be for you to have her join you. Again, this is a bonding activity. You don’t have to have very intense goals at first. Your first goal is get her moving and doing something.
Epilogue
This is a preliminary attempt at a guide. Any suggestions are welcome.
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Prologue
I searched around the forums for posts and suggestions on how to get wives and girlfriends into the gym. I've noticed this is something that a lot of people here are interested in. I will refer to wife/girlfriend as wife—just to make things easier. So I've written a plan for it. I got my wife into the gym, but I never got her to strength train. I very well could have.
Leading by Example
To get your wife into the gym, you have to lead by example. You must start going to the gym, and working out hard. She needs to see changes in you. Through that you can influence her to start going with you. You will also need to change your diet and eat cleaner. It will improve your gains. There are some genetic freaks that don’t need to do this, but most people will.
The effort will vary by the wife. Some will see you, get excited and immediately join. Others will be more reluctant; subtle, and low pressure persistence will be necessary. Remember, when she sees you change, physically and mentally, she will want to join in that. That is the frame necessary to bring her into the gym. You have your wife’s best interests at heart. Plus, she will look better. But, don’t tell her that yet.
A Bonding Activity
Always frame it as something you want to do together—as a way to bond; never as a way for her to lose weight, gain muscle, look better, etc. It’s a joint activity. It does work to bond you together (I remember it being awesome). Physical activity is a great way to bond with your wife, and rekindle the relationship.
Diffuse the questions:“Do you think I’m fat?” “Do you think I need to lose weight?” “Are you not attracted to me the way I am?” with agree and amplify tactics. (Google that) Never answer any question about this directly.
Bring the gym home
If you are serious about fitness, and can afford a home gym, this is one of the best ways to get your wife into fitness. It obviates excuses and she will feel a lot less intimidated around familiar people.
Different fitness levels
Depending on the fitness level of your wife, you will have to start her off with different activities. You might need to start with a walk around the block. When I started my wife on this, we could only walk around the block. We built that up to 3 miles within six months. Once you have your wife taking walks with you that exceed 1 mile, then you can add in some strength training and HIIT training.
My recommendation is a 5x5 program for strength, and a HIIT cardio program. Pick three days for strength with at least a day of rest or HIIT between strength sessions. Take at least one day completely off (no HIIT or strength) per week. Program in 2-3 HIIT sessions per week. For more details Google “5x5 strength training” and “HIIT cardio”.
HIIT cardio.
High-intensity Interval Training is a way to accomplish more cardio benefits with less time. In a 15-30 minute session you can get the same results as 45-60 minutes, as proven by scientific studies. Your session is divided into intervals of high intensity work and lower intensity recovery lasting from 15-90 seconds. The recovery intervals correspond to 60-70% MHR or Maximum Heart Rate. The work intervals 90-100% MHR. Your MHR can be calculated by subtracting your age from 220. If you are 20 years old, then your MHR is 220 – 20 or 200.
A basic program might consist of 60/60 intervals. That means 60 seconds of work, and 60 seconds of recovery. You continue alternating between work and recovery for the duration of the session. Here’s an example.
On the elliptical machine you might do the following for a 20 minute session. Take a 2 minute warm up at a moderate intensity. Start your first 60 second work interval. Increase the resistance on the elliptical machine and monitor your heart and rate. Try to push it into the target zone of 90-100% MHR. After 60 seconds enter your recovery interval. Reduce the resistance and try to keep your HR elevated above 60% but not above 70% MHR for the next 60 seconds. Start the next work interval, following it with another recovery interval, and repeat until the session is over.
5x5 Strength Program.
It consists of 5 fundamental exercises that train the frame. Basically you do them, increasing the weight. It builds up the basic frame. From there you can add on additional exercises to target and grow specific groups: bis, tris, abs, delts, glutes, quads, hams, etc. 5x5 is the best beginners program, and you see results fast. Just Google it for details.
Nutrition
One of the best ways to do it is just a basic 40/30/30 split between carbs, protein, and fats. Additional protein might be necessary. This is again where research is necessary.
Q & A
My wife complains about pains, etc. Will this make things worse?
Exercise helps alleviate many types of pain and inflammation. If she has any doubts, tell her to consult with a doctor. I am very confident she will experience less pain as she begins to engage in regular exercise.
My wife is un-athletic, morbidly obese and has trouble with exercise. Can she really do this?
The key is to get her up and moving. Like I mentioned, a walk around the block is better than nothing. There will likely have to be dietary changes as well. You will have work together to make the dietary changes. That might be the hardest part.
I can’t get my wife to workout with me, what do I do?
You can start with yourself. Make the changes on your own, and have her notice the difference. You can emphasize how important it would be for you to have her join you. Again, this is a bonding activity. You don’t have to have very intense goals at first. Your first goal is get her moving and doing something.
Epilogue
This is a preliminary attempt at a guide. Any suggestions are welcome.