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What if the attraction to female muscle doesn’t translate to real life?

Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

I say this because I have a friend who said he used to be into heavy women, then he was with one and it was disappointing after building it up so much. Like “no longer into heavy women” disappointing. It would be strange to have to reconsider my sexual preferences after so many years of a built up ideal.

cgsweat
Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

Basically in many of these cases it's just a matter of whether you can put up with the side effects of steroid use. And also her lifestyle typically includes way more gym time than 99% of the rest of the population. If you're sensitive about things like that, then yes it may be a shock to your senses.

Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

Happens I can't remember the word for it but there are many people like this.

[deleted]
Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

I've gotten rid of a few kink fantasy obsessions by trying them in real life, and discovering I'm very much not into them. I've never laid my hands on an FBB, however. Perhaps it's for the best if I'm turned off by the experience - then maybe I'll stop spending so much time in fetish forums.

Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

Yea i have never seen a fbb irl but i have been with very good looking non muscular women and they where not as good as i expected but i have no idea how my body would react to muscular women will it be super intense or will it be just slightly better than a normal woman i don't know i have been idealising them since i hit puberty 15 years ago.

Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

Physical attraction activated by a picture or video is only a small dimension of what your senses can experience in real life. Therefore, a related question: can you have attraction in real life that wouldn't occur with a photograph or video? (BTW, the answer is "yes")

Do consider: a fit and athletic woman who is "average" on a site like this is still very much above average in real life. Give it a chance...

Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

Basically in many of these cases it's just a matter of whether you can put up with the side effects of steroid use. And also her lifestyle typically includes way more gym time than 99% of the rest of the population. If you're sensitive about things like that, then yes it may be a shock to your senses.

Or just find a muscular girl who doesn't use steroids. Despite what some around here think, they actually exist. Not Renee Toney/Nataliya Trukhina muscular of course, but muscular just the same.

I know some of the incels here think that any woman who has more muscle than they do or is even 5% stronger than the average man must be on steroids, but that isn't the reality.

In the middle, there's also lots of women who use steroids in moderation and don't have giant clits or deep voices or any of the other outward signs that come with abuse.

fp909
Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

all the women i've gone out with have been normal sized/shaped, save for two who were pretty heavily muscled crossfitters.

my dad is waiting for me to "settle down" but the "settle" part bothers me. I don't have a laundry list of things to look for but (and i understand that relationships are about compromise) I would rather share gym time or active activities with her instead of either having to do them on my own or cutting them out completely.

Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

Basically in many of these cases it's just a matter of whether you can put up with the side effects of steroid use. And also her lifestyle typically includes way more gym time than 99% of the rest of the population. If you're sensitive about things like that, then yes it may be a shock to your senses.

I think this si the most accurate assessment. I think if you’re someone who not really into the fitness realm or have much knowledge about training, it’s going to come across as quite a shock when you find out how restrictive a female bodybuilder or muscular’s woman’s lifestyle is. They have to spend a lot of time at the gym, you can’t really go out for drinks or crappy food often and late nights out probably won’t happen because you need a lot of sleep to recover from those intense training session.

Also, more along the lines of kind and BDSM, I find that among people like us who are attracted to buff women, there is a bit of a preconceived notion that a woman showing off a display of strength and power means that are interested in taking on a “domme”role where they’re aggressive, dominant and have a desire to overpower men. The reality is: that might not be as common as what is perceived, and I think if a “schmoe” who has a preconceived notion that a muscular woman they meet is going to own the shit out of them, they might be disappointed if said woman has no interest or desire at taking on that “dominant” role. A lot of strong and fit women I know don’t give a shit that they’re stronger than an average dude, and they don’t look down at dudes who can’t lift as much as them. Rather, they only do their sport for a love of it. I think the chances of disappointment won’t really come from the physique itself if you see it in person, but if the guy also is interested in a dominant attitude to go with the muscled physique, it will come more from that specific fantasy not coming true.

Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

Well, better to find out then always be wondering about it I suppose.

Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

Gatsby28:

A lot of strong and fit women I know don’t give a shit that they’re stronger than an average dude, and they don’t look down at dudes who can’t lift as much as them. ... I think the chances of disappointment won’t really come from the physique itself if you see it in person, but if the guy also is interested in a dominant attitude to go with the muscled physique, it will come more from that specific fantasy not coming true.

This is a keen observation not often stated in these threads. I do get the sense this particular fantasy is not nearly as widespread as an attraction to muscular women, but the guys who have these "domme" fantasies are quite intense in their preferences. I agree that they are likely to be disappointed.

Nov 15, 2021 - edited Nov 15, 2021 - permalink

I think this si the most accurate assessment. I think if you’re someone who not really into the fitness realm or have much knowledge about training, it’s going to come across as quite a shock when you find out how restrictive a female bodybuilder or muscular’s woman’s lifestyle is. They have to spend a lot of time at the gym, you can’t really go out for drinks or crappy food often and late nights out probably won’t happen because you need a lot of sleep to recover from those intense training session.

Also, more along the lines of kind and BDSM, I find that among people like us who are attracted to buff women, there is a bit of a preconceived notion that a woman showing off a display of strength and power means that are interested in taking on a “domme”role where they’re aggressive, dominant and have a desire to overpower men. The reality is: that might not be as common as what is perceived, and I think if a “schmoe” who has a preconceived notion that a muscular woman they meet is going to own the shit out of them, they might be disappointed if said woman has no interest or desire at taking on that “dominant” role. A lot of strong and fit women I know don’t give a shit that they’re stronger than an average dude, and they don’t look down at dudes who can’t lift as much as them. Rather, they only do their sport for a love of it. I think the chances of disappointment won’t really come from the physique itself if you see it in person, but if the guy also is interested in a dominant attitude to go with the muscled physique, it will come more from that specific fantasy not coming true.

Yes! Society really wants us all to believe that female body builders are Dominate and gay (penis envy?) but it's just not true I've found that the majority of them are girly and bodybuilding only helps heighten their femininity not take away from it, some may feel the opposite of course but the majority treat competitions like victoria secret beauty pageants..

Then there's the "female body builders are lesbians" bs, ask your self this, how many lesbians do you know irl over the age of 20 that have interest in fitness compared to hetero sexual women? I live in the city and have seen many FB fitness related groups for women spring up over the years and the truth is 90% of the women that join these groups were there to either impress their man or find one, many of them regular mom types with zero dom bones in them. I swear the only reason why people believe bodybuilding is a queer activity is because of how many gay girls dominate female sports in college/highschool and movies, it's quiet strange and unrealistic.

Nov 16, 2021 - permalink

I dunno. You move on and find what you are attracted to and go for that, I guess. Discovering what really turns you on can be an involved process.

I found out I was definitely not submissive after a session with an fbb. I had voraciously read stories and watched vids about men being overpowered and dominated by much stronger women, but having it happen to me directly was not a turn-on. I still liked the aesthetics of female muscle, and the physicality of it, the strength, knowing that I could be overpowered. So I guess I moved on and avoided women who actually got off on tying the likes of me in knots.

Nov 16, 2021 - permalink

Basically in many of these cases it's just a matter of whether you can put up with the side effects of steroid use. And also her lifestyle typically includes way more gym time than 99% of the rest of the population. If you're sensitive about things like that, then yes it may be a shock to your senses.

The "gym time" thing is a big one. These women's lives revolve around the gym, so I would imagine that unless you share that same passion a lot of these women wouldn't be too interesting to be around.

Nov 16, 2021 - permalink

For many guys, the difficulty might be related with other people's sight. For most of us, this is a secret fantasy. It is not so easy to be comfortable with it socially. There is a huge difference between being crazily excited next to a tall huge feminine woman in a hotel room and walking next to her every day of your life.

Apr 18, 2022 - permalink

Be careful what you wish for... it might come true ;-)

Apr 19, 2022 - permalink

Fantasies exist for a reason.

Fantasies are generally healthy. Obsessions are often (generally, even?) unhealthy.

Balance is healthy.

May 01, 2022 - edited May 01, 2022 - permalink

Well, better to find out then always be wondering about it I suppose.

Well said.

Be assured that it will shift your perspective if you meet up close with a female bodybuilder you have adored on pictures to the extent that it creates fantasies. I had a few moments in life where I completely lost my interest in womens bodybuilding, and found that worrying. Surprisingly, every time it created some "new" topics I was interested in. This sport and the women performing it has many levels, that even now, after so many years, I discover new fascination.

It is one, but by far not the only transition I have been through: after a session I staid in contact with a female bodybuilder in London. We met up later for MMA sessions, an initiative she took because she wanted to learn it and was seeking for a male fighting partner. After that training hours we often went to a sushi bar next door and of course talked a lot. I found out that she has been around the world, the partners she has been with, that she learned ballet at a young age, joined the army, worked at the door in elite night clubs, took the Liverpool academy of arts. All along the initially pristine picture I had from her faded away, at the same time a deep fascination grew. Made me feel like a young kid who is about to explore the world new.

Refusing to stay in contact with her "for real" could have saved the ideal picture, always perfectly perfectly glazed and styled - which is fine - but I prefer the latter. At the end she even introduced a guy to me who worked as a journalist, and once had Iris Kyle with him. We went to a mexican restaurant and had a fun night out with lots of laughing.

The fact that a "perfect" picture of a female bodybuilder might disappear does not necessarily mean that nothing new is coming afterwards.

May 01, 2022 - permalink

I'm definitely under no allusions of ever finding myself in a committed relationship with a FBB. Mostly because I have zero interest in adapting my life to the kind of lifestyle a FBB lives. If I should happen to run into one and we just so happen to hit it off sure I'd pursue it to see where it goes. But it's not a goal of mine as it is for others. I'm more than happy with a quick hook up and then go separate ways kind of thing.

It has to be a FBB or even physique level at least. I've not see many muscular women in my life but when I have it's mostly been the smaller ones and when I saw them I only had a passing interest. But let me see a full on FBB with veins like ropes and I couldn't even imagine my attraction not translating from what I see on my laptop to what's in front of me.

May 01, 2022 - permalink

I'm dating a bodybuilder. Like anyone else I'd say

May 01, 2022 - edited May 01, 2022 - permalink

I'm dating a bodybuilder. Like anyone else I'd say

Respect.

Does she turn the alarm clock in the middle of the night to rob the fridge? 😀

May 08, 2022 - permalink

Respect.

Does she turn the alarm clock in the middle of the night to rob the fridge? 😀

Nah, she's a heavy sleeper when I visit. Shes in Canada I'm from the states . So our time has been limited

May 09, 2022 - permalink

Yes! Society really wants us all to believe that female body builders are Dominate and gay (penis envy?) but it's just not true…

Who is this society? Where does he say so? What words does he use? Where can I reach him if I want to ask him something?

I don't know how you wanted your reference to penis envy be interpreted, but I'll share some random thoughts anyway.

I have no idea what is the ratio of healthy and happy marriages to troubled marriages that have constant fights or at least yelling, rage and arguments in them. I wonder if there is an almost equal amount of both happy and troubled. The point here being that if you end up with a physically stronger woman and your marriage happens to be among the bad ones, then it is quite natural to assume that you would be in trouble in case things got physical.

Natural, but usually there are many other factors that determine who has the upper hand in that case. So nobody wants anybody to believe anything. Some people simply make assumptions because they have really no way of knowing better and actually aren't even that much interested.

Penis envy is something that is strictly experienced by women. I don't know much about it but I'd assume that such women dislike men very much. Envy literally means wishing that the other person did not have it so you would look equal in comparison. It is ridiculous to say that you could be envious about something the other does not have. Or about something that you actually do have.

A far more interesting side of the equation is called castration anxiety. It logically concludes that since beings who do not have a penis do exist (they're called girls and women) and you have a penis, then it might be possible that these women have had their penises taken away some time earlier. But even more importantly that your penis could also be taken away. Or simply a scary realization that mom is somehow different and now you can't trust her anymore to tell you who you are and how you should express your identity.

It works in a way that if a boy is domineered by his mother and rejected by his father, he will experience the father as the other gender and mother as the same gender. But since he has a penis and he is supposed to feel kinship with someone who also has one, to remain mentally in one piece he must live in a fantasy that women have a penis too. It should be obvious by now that it does not refer to the literal organ but in a way to the idea of behaving like a boy or a man.

So the boy will model his supposedly masculine behavior after his mother's domineering behavior. He often can't but ideally he should take his penis and run as fast as he can to where there are others who are like what he is supposed to become. A man not beholden to his domineering mother. And he should also stop being emotional and passive-aggressive if he did already pick these traits from mom.

In case he is trapped his second best option is to try to feel secure in the fantasy that women really have penises. And every way a woman can physically be better than a man or humiliate a man is a symbolic penis. But this domineering quality in women is not something that is ever envied in the sense of Freudian penis envy. In a vanishingly small amount of cases can penis envy be a motivating factor in becoming a female bodybuilder. Usually other reasons dominate. And usually penis envy simply makes a woman angry and bitter at men. This is a far easier way to take their penis away than by spending years lifting weights.

cgsweat
May 09, 2022 - permalink

@zarklephaser4

I've taken note of your writings in various threads here, and they are interesting reads. I also appreciate the amount of time and effort that go into writing them.

However, I also feel like there should be something of a disclaimer as to whether or not you are a clinical expert in the field of Psychology. This wouldn't necessarily be a rule set in stone, but more of a suggestion in the fairness/best interest of the average user who might read your posts.

Either you are a professional, in which case this information could only serve to benefit you as it would validate everything you have been saying... or you are not a professional, in which case I would make the suggestion to at least link us to where you are getting this information from. In the latter case, it would be especially courteous for the community, and I think it would also help to validate your claims, depending on where the information is coming from.

May 09, 2022 - permalink

No, I am not any kind of professional. Someone already asked this privately and I gave him the same response. But I do understand why it is necessary to state this publicly. I often sympathize with people who have been failed by professionals anyway.

I mostly read books and articles and listen to recorded talks I find interesting, take notes and make comparisons with what I already know. I also try to explain what I hear in light of other related theories. Often things are known through their definitions so this is what I usually focus on.

Some of that castration and envy stuff is beautifully explained in Sheldon Bach's book The Language of Perversion And The Language of Love. Some people like to spend their free time doing martial arts, some like to learn new languages. I have spent much of it studying psychology and some related things.

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