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Yea but considering how rare they are i don't think i could handle a breakup very well thats another downside i would be completely depend on her there would probably be nobody else if i was "normal" and my girlfrend dumped me or died i could just find another one who is equal to her
How's she feel about you, and what shape are you in?
I have never felt guilt or shame for being attracted to muscular women in itself. However, I did feel “guilt” in two aspects about being attracted to muscular women.
The first has to do with “availability.” Before I met my now-girlfriend, I was struggling badly in the dating scene. As I mentioned in another thread, the dating apps have few fit women and practically no buff women. My CrossFit gym didn’t really have anyone available, nor did anyone that I knew knew of anyone who they could set me up with, and when I was getting ready to enter my first competition and actually start going to events: COVID came and shut the world down. I asked for dating advice on other forums, and a lot of them told me that I was being too restrictive in what I was attracted to, given again that muscular women are quite rare. Furthermore, I was “guilted” for not being wiling to give women who were not fit a chance. Truth is in the past I have tried given sedentary women who were perfectly nice and sweet chances, but it led to a pretty much non-existent bedroom. It wasn’t fair to them and it wasn’t fair to men and I actually spent a good chunk of time with my therapist (yes, I admit without shame that I am in therapy) talking about how guilty I felt for being frustrated with dating struggles while at the same time having such a niche attraction. In my mind, it made believe that all my dating struggles were my fault because of what I was attracted to. Fortunately, I found a fellow crossfitter on the apps, and we are now together, but it was a struggle.
The second, and I really hope I don’t come across in the wrong way of saying this, aspect actually comes from the “schmoe” community. I have read comments and perspectives from other dudes who are attracted to muscular women, and some of them make me cringe incredibly hard. And also, being into CrossFit for awhile and knowing personally many women who lift, I have heard from those women what their experiences have been with other schmoes, and they are rarely positive. They know there are dudes who really are into them, and they’re cool with that. What they can’t stand, however, are the dudes who leave them creepy comments or straight out fetishize them to their face, and when those dudes get called out on it, instead of taking a moment to reflect on why that wasn’t a good thing to do, they immediately double back on it by blaming the women. While there are guys out there who like buff women and have actual decent social skills when interacting with them (as evidenced by the people dating or married to them,) it seems like there are quite a few who really need to learn social graces around them. One local bodybuilder who I became friends with after initially talking to her on instagram, even said after a bit “oh thank God you’re not one of THOSE guys.” It really is kinda telling, unfortunately.
Some people, and most in any related commercial industry, cannot see beauty without an desire to exploit it. Takes a pure soul to see beauty only as something to be loved. Pure love connects both to both integrally.
And who’s the blonde by the way? I would agree. > My 2 cents :
ask any regular guy if he finds the women in the pictures below attractive.
My opinion : if they can answer the question anonymously at least 70 or 80 percent will answer "very attractive". If asked face to face it will drop below 40 %
KDJ
Ye i get you, I used to feel weird about working out myself even. it felt like a dirty sexual act and i would never let my mom find out i worked out so i barely did. now many year later i can go to the gym and workout at home or even my moms house without feeling guilty or aroused.
Also i have told some friends that im into musclular girls but they always respond like "o ye watherver, no i dont like that". i've stopped feeling weird about it but im still kinda "hiding it", cuz its usually not a very fun conversation.
I'm just glad that now instead of being addicted to weed and just binge-drinking and doing drugs, im now kinda addicted to working out and looking a muscular women online. its still a little in unhealthy proportions but at least i can reflect on it.
furthermore i dont think i can change that im into muscles, and im lucky that im into small breasts, and i like even to feel the muscles of "regular" girls.
and for the "is it genetic" discussion, i found this lecture very enlightening (the whole series is good actually): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOY3QH_jOtE&l... also made me understand transgenderness a bit more
Peace :)
Ye i get you, I used to feel weird about working out myself even. it felt like a dirty sexual act and i would never let my mom find out i worked out so i barely did. now many year later i can go to the gym and workout at home or even my moms house without feeling guilty or aroused.
Also i have told some friends that im into musclular girls but they always respond like "o ye watherver, no i dont like that". i've stopped feeling weird about it but im still kinda "hiding it", cuz its usually not a very fun conversation.
I'm just glad that now instead of being addicted to weed and just binge-drinking and doing drugs, im now kinda addicted to working out and looking a muscular women online. its still a little in unhealthy proportions but at least i can reflect on it.
furthermore i dont think i can change that im into muscles, and im lucky that im into small breasts, and i like even to feel the muscles of "regular" girls.
and for the "is it genetic" discussion, i found this lecture very enlightening (the whole series is good actually): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOY3QH_jOtE&l... also made me understand transgenderness a bit more
Peace :)
interesting, gonna check that vid out
I disagree with the responses on here, I'm attracted to FBB's too but it definitely is something that would be considered weird. Even within this community there are certain aspects that people think is too much (body hair, roid voices, etc) but people are still attracted to a lot of that stuff. I think the vast majority of men just aren't attracted to muscular women, the reason it's considered a fetish is because it's an attraction to something that is out of the ordinary.
There is a degree to which it is attraction to a different look than has traditionally been accepted as the norm, which basically all of us have. However, there is also a degree to which it is a fetish. Fewer of us have that but most, I think, do. For many of us there is a bifurcation of our attraction, a division of two separate kinds of attraction, both sexual in nature.
For example, I find an attraction to seeing the muscles of incredibly huge women, like Amazonka, Lisa Cross, Abi Jimenez, or others. I also enjoy stories and well made videos of women who can dominate their men, not with whips but by overpowering them, and like to do so. I am not sure I would want to marry any of them. So that aspect of a man's (or my) attraction to women like that is probably categorized as a sexual fetish.
However, there are a few examples on here of women who are happily married to men who are not into lifting (and it shows). Some of these women are quite jacked. (Look up Sherri Gray and Manda Costa) In the cases I just referred to, the women seem to have taken up bodybuilding after they were married and after they had children, and now they have bodies that are gorgeous to anyone who comes to this website. I know that scenario would have been a dream and would have kept my sex life more active than it was after about four years of marriage. I categorize that as a natural attraction to muscular women.
I don't, I couldn't be happier about it, and whoever has a problem with it, family member or not I have zero fucks to give about it.
I never advertised it, but when the question came up I bluntly told it to my best friends. If anything I felt liberated. And they didn't blink an eye over it.
M76, I would guess you are relatively young, and that makes a difference. The acceptance of female muscle has come a long way. It had very little acceptance in the seventies and early eighties. Take a look at Rachel McLeish or Gladys Portuguese. They wouldn't win the average local figure competition today, and they were the face of women's bodybuilding at the start. The effect is that men of that age were less likely to profess attraction to women with muscles.
Since that time we have had an amazing evolution, not just in bodybuilding itself, but in society's acceptance of it. Also, since individual rights have become more important than the well being of the whole society, the right of the individual woman to express herself however she wants and the right of the man to express his desires have pushed society as a whole to become more accepting of a variety of social norms. If a man can openly express his sexual interest in other men, and women can do the same, then men can openly express their sexual attraction to muscular women. That was NOT true in the past, and in many places today, it is still not true, even if it should be.
Thanks to whomever started this thread, it is an important discussion.
In nature, as Darwin discovered, it's the survival of the fittest. Thus, all wild animals are subjected to nature's selection agenda, and are thus attracted to the fittest, male or female. Why would humans be any different? If a man doesn't like female muscles, that's his choice, but in nature, the fittest reign, period. Case closed.
Your analysis is spot on, except for one thing. For the survival of the species, huge muscles on women have very little relevance. A curvy woman with a little extra weight would be better able to produce offspring without the benefit of medicine and survive. A man with muscles, strength and stamina would be better able to protect that family and provide for it. Traditionally, muscles beyond what women needed to do their typical choses, were unnecessary.
Liking a woman who REALLY takes care of herself, has supreme discipline and is incredibly fit. What’s NOT to love about THAT?! The haters would swap bodies in a split second if it were that easy. They’re too lazy and jealous. For me, a hot powerful woman in gym gear with muscles is as sexy as it gets. 🔥
A woman who is extremely fit, has way above average muscles, and who wants to stay that way or keep building is a dream for everyone on this site. However, there may be trade-offs for your lifestyle. She may not want to engage in drinking much, if any, alcohol; she may also have a diet that restricts her from eating fatty delicious foods that you like to eat, and she may find it rude f you eat those foods while she is dieting to get into competition shape.
Ye i get you, I used to feel weird about working out myself even. it felt like a dirty sexual act and i would never let my mom find out i worked out so i barely did. now many year later i can go to the gym and workout at home or even my moms house without feeling guilty or aroused.
Also i have told some friends that im into musclular girls but they always respond like "o ye watherver, no i dont like that". i've stopped feeling weird about it but im still kinda "hiding it", cuz its usually not a very fun conversation.
I'm just glad that now instead of being addicted to weed and just binge-drinking and doing drugs, im now kinda addicted to working out and looking a muscular women online. its still a little in unhealthy proportions but at least i can reflect on it.
furthermore i dont think i can change that im into muscles, and im lucky that im into small breasts, and i like even to feel the muscles of "regular" girls.
and for the "is it genetic" discussion, i found this lecture very enlightening (the whole series is good actually): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOY3QH_jOtE&l... also made me understand transgenderness a bit more
Peace :)
I had a very similar dynamic with regard to working out when I was younger and even now. I was always embarrassed about it and did it in private or hidden ways. That's part of what drives my attraction to these women because they are able to do something that I've never felt like I could do. It makes me both desire them and feel jealousy/hatred toward them in a way. And yes, I'm aware that that's a confused situation.
I thought about sharing this a couple of weeks back, but I tend not to get too involved in discussions when I'm trying to argue a point with the Steven Crowder types.
Because in the end, I know they aren't prepared to learn anything and will likely just end up calling you a bad word.
But I clicked in yesterday and saw some genuine philosophical debate had happened. So for those of you that are interested in this kind of study or if you need a refresher on how the world really works when you peel back the skin, I would HIGHLY recommend watching this video from 'Philosophy Tube' on social constructs.
Here's an excerpt from the vid to give you an idea of what is discussed.
Here is the full vid. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koud7hgGyQ8
I could go a bit deeper, but I think I'll put a cap on it there.
I hope this goes a small way to anyone struggling to understand the 'whys and hows' we all have spinning around our heads every day.
My advice would be, don't worry about it, it's all made up anyway. 😉
I'm just going to remind you of the OP gwmlvr.
I have had a bit of a "road block" recently. I've been really ashamed and guilty that i like the whole "girls with muscles" thing. Other people think it's really fucking weird (except for the people on this site). I've had to take really drastic measures to make sure none of my family members or friends find this out. Because if they do, that will end my world.
I just feel like i did something wrong when i go into this topic.
Anyone else have the same feeling? I cant be the only one... right?
The motivation in a fetish like this is probably that the person, almost always a guy, is insecure. That is why he feels drawn to secure and confident women. The muscles are a sign of confidence and security. Basically a fetishist is trying to win over his mother. She probably never connected with him on an emotional level. The fetish is an attempt to use the physical confidence, admiration and attraction as a foundation and a playing field for connecting on an emotional level.
Ordinary sex or porn doesn't cut it because of the lack of confidence I already mentioned. Any muscular woman's physical power and your admiration of it is a way to overcome this insecurity. The same thing happens if she beats you up or otherwise dominates you. It is a trick to make an otherwise ordinary woman overcome or ignore your insecurity. Or even make it a part of the relationship.
First the male feels insecure. In the fantasy this makes the woman feel overconfident. Since the woman likes being overconfident and is hungry for admiration, she now associates pleasure with the male's attention and insecurity. Now the male feels safe because the woman likes his insecurity, even enjoys it. And so they begin a mutually enjoyable relationship.
But here's a paradox. Immediately when the male realizes that the woman likes him, he gets confident. When he does this not only does he lose his reason for being with the woman, but the woman also loses her reason for enjoying his company. Because in the fantasy it is the male's insecurity that gives the woman pleasure. In order to maintain the fantasized relationship the male must retain his insecurity so that he can continue giving the woman the enjoyment of her overconfidence.
The problem is that the male's reason for admiring the woman in the first place was to tempt fate to overcome his insecurity. Because just as in every form of porn, the emotional connection rarely if ever materializes. Therefore this fetish actually only helps him to dig deeper into it and become more confused. All those grosser fetishes are a matter of degree, not a matter of kind. Some men think or rather feel that they can only overcome their insecurity if they worship a woman by eating her excrement or are eaten alive by her. Psychoanalysis actually knows the problem as the devouring mother. The cry of the male is that he can't stand her devouring him emotionally, so he will let her devour him physically so that he can enjoy her company emotionally. And his idea just happens to be that the only sure way to do that is if he lets her humiliate or destroy him. Hard or softly. It's just a matter of degree.
The core of this fantasy is not you desiring the woman. It is the woman desiring you. Desiring your desire. Or at least accepting it. One way or the other. Sometimes at any cost to your health, self-respect and sanity. The horror you are running away from is the one of not being wanted by anyone. This site is not a stash of bodies to admire. This is a stash of bodies presumably desiring your admiration. Or rather desiring you.
Anecdotally, this is exactly what happened to me.
I'm an extremely average looking guy. Probably slightly below average. As a kid I was made fun of because of my smile. As an adolescent and in college I had zero luck with women--I would call myself fairly conservative so luck here is more than one date. I have a lot of insecurities, and physical desire is hard to come by. I wouldn't say that I have any issue with the mother thing; i had a good childhood and my parents were together until recently, but had different approaches to how they assessed my work (my dad usually rode me pretty hard and my mom would go the "disappointed, not angry" route).
Anyway, I was about 25 when this happened, and I've told parts of this story before on here. I started camming with this woman on HBC, and found her on instagram around the same time (thanks, algorithm); I slid into those dms, and we started talking, a lot. Text, skype. Within a month I was no longer camming for her and she would send me nudes and flex pics occasional over the first few months. As she lived in a different state i hadn't yet met her, but I was reeled in--she was very engaged with me and definitely interested. We met about two months after that--she came to my city and we stayed at a hotel on her dime, hung out for a few days, had sex a bunch (which was my first time). Physically, she was all over me, very forward, and early on was very touchy-feely with me. I was a little surprised, probably definitely overwhelmed. No one had ever acted like this toward me (and hasn't since). I had a great time, and she even indulged some of my muscle requests which surprisingly weren't that many.
However, as you mentioned, I gained confidence. Our second go around a month or so later was a bit different. The circumstances of our being together were different--i met her at a neutral place for something she was doing and spent a couple of days, rather than coming out specifically for me. My behavior was definitely different--maybe a bit more confident with her, maybe a little too sappy which is probably how i thought I should act. Although this trip was fun too it quickly deteriorated after that. Within a couple of weeks she did that thing where she starts talking glowingly about another guy she knows, played some games with me, and then ghosted for a few months. I remember pretty vividly her reaching out the night I was at a wedding rehearsal dinner of my roommate and I was bewildered.
I think I'm pretty scarred from that experience, if I'm honest. I still have a lingering focus on her from a fetish perspective, and ended up guying a few videos from her last year after a few years of avoiding that with her specifically.She is with someone else now, though I doubt he is as insecure as I was, or in the same ways. I'm not even sure how long or even if she was looking for that kind of experience all the time, or had an opportunity with me to feel that way. In fact, I would say that one of my closest friends now, who I became friends with shortly after this experience, was kind of that "rebound"--we were having tough times in life and clung to each other during that period, but she has similar qualities as that woman that I found attractive, and since I was around the same phase in my life probably thought being vulnerable would ingratiate. In fact, she on one or two occasions called me out for it, because I had a pretty bad habit of apologizing for things that didn't warrant an apology, and it was in fact a glaring insecurity.
I do encourage people here to listen to the Bari Weiss podcast with a sex worker--she talks about this kind of thing specifically, that men are lacking emotional engagement and they seek out experiences or fetishes to feel desired in some way, even if it's fabricated.
Have I matured since this experience? Sure. There have been other things going on that have really turned me off to the idea of dating (namely how my mother has treated my father in the midst of a divorce, and the circumstances around it) but as far as the fetish is concerned I no longer have fantasies about being manhandled or carried around or beaten at things. I still find strength and aesthetics majorly attractive. If you read my more recent stories, you'll see that those elements come up less and less, unless it's requested. Although I will say that I still find attractive the idea of competing neck and neck with a woman, and my only strength fantasies are either seeing a woman make strength gains, or armwrestling someone that I think would be a challenge just to feel that strength.
The core of this fantasy is not you desiring the woman. It is the woman desiring you. Desiring your desire. Or at least accepting it. One way or the other. Sometimes at any cost to your health, self-respect and sanity. The horror you are running away from is the one of not being wanted by anyone. This site is not a stash of bodies to admire. This is a stash of bodies presumably desiring your admiration. Or rather desiring you.
This is profound, and I like the way you've summed this up...
What dribble... What's worse is that corporate media jams it down our digital throats 24/7/365. Biology trumps philosophy in this particular "debate". Every time.
Absolutely
@zarklephaser....I guess everyone is different here but insecure isn't something I would describe myself as. I've never had trouble attracting women, I'm successful with many friends. I just seem to have been wired this way. From as early as 7, the sight of a female with muscles, completely blew me away. As my hormones later kicked in, I'd become so aroused by seeing a girl with muscles in her arms, at school, that I feared even standing up due to my raging hardon. I love everything about a physically developed woman. The way she looks and oh god....the way she feels.
I used to have this feeling of shame as well but I've accepted it. Back when I was younger it didn't help that people around me would comment that that's disgusting. So I always kept quiet and felt embarrassed. But as I've gotten older I actually love it now. I just need to grow a pair to chat them up when I see them, and fight against my self-sabotaging negative thoughts.
Great comments though. I feel like having this discussion, reading about other's experiences and airing out one's thoughts in here is therapeutic in a way.
Interesting. Did you get any sense that there might be a subversive motive behind any of it, or just a pervasive inadvertent effect of typical messed up childhoods?