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Embarrassed by your attraction to muscles??

steve11122
Feb 28, 2012 - permalink
Hi guys. I've always been really attracted to girls with muscular and athletic bodies. I have never really admitted this to anyone. I felt a lot of shame around it. I dated athletic girls before and really enjoyed their bodies but always ignored their muscles when talking to them or my friends, I pretended that I hadn't really noticed, or even that it was a slight negative. I kept this bottled up for my entire life, I'm 28 now. Yesterday I went to my therapist and decided to tell her all about this. It went really well and to finally talk about it took a real weight off my shoulders. When I got home I wrote about it. I'm going to post what I wrote in case any of you have ever felt like this, maybe it will be of use. Pardon my grammar, it's kind of a stream of consciousness piece for my own benefit. Any questions feel free to ask.

What I wrote:

I had a really good session yesterday. I told somebody (my therapist), pretty much for the first time, that I have a really intense attraction to muscular, athletic females. I was very nervous to talk about this because I had kept it hidden my entire life. Since my earliest memories of seeing pictures of muscular women, in my uncles magazine and in Tony Quinn's health food shop window, I have been really private about my attraction to this body type and have in fact denied that I like it on numerous occasions.

I thought that being turned on by this made me weird and so I kept it a secret, a secret that caused me a lot of shame and anxiety at times. When I was telling my therapist about it I used words like illicit, sordid, weird, bizarre etc. She was amazed that I was attaching so much negative energy to it. She asked why I would ever think that it was any of those negative things. She said everybody has a type they are attracted to and why would it be so odd to be attracted to healthy, sexy and athletic women? She is, of course, right. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.

I think on some level I thought that because muscles were considered 'masculine' by some people that liking muscular girls might have meant I was gay. In reality, I thought girls with muscular bodies were so beautiful and the absolute pinnacle of female beauty, but I couldn't admit it to anyone. But from now on I will.

I AM REALLY TURNED ON BY MUSCULAR GIRLS and if a girl is pretty, nice, we have a connection, but she is weak and soft bodied, then I will not be turned on by her. I have been denying this fact my entire life, trying to push myself into situations with girls I thought I should be attracted to, because they were conventionally pretty and I assumed most other people would do it, but that I wasn't turned on by because they didn't have the body type I like.

There are many girls in the world that are beautiful, cool etc etc but just because of this does not mean I will be, or SHOULD be , attracted to them. There are many girls in the world with athletic and muscular bodies that will drive me wild that also have cool personalities and that I will get on with- these are the girls I should be with. It doesn't matter if I get on with a girl, am single, and she is pretty, if I am not turned on by her then she is not a potential sexual partner. I can't be afraid to be choosy.
This is a huge weight off my shoulders. I have a type that REALLY turns me on. I am lucky!! I must accept who I am and enjoy it. Find muscular girls and date and have sex with them. I can appreciate that a pretty, but weak looking girl is subjectively attractive but, for the most part, she won't be the type of girl that I am DYING TO FUCK. I should be meeting girls that give me intense wood, because they are out there in large numbers. Now that I have accepted my type I can narrow my search and stop flailing around in the dark, denying my most basic urges.
marcfrick2112
Feb 28, 2012 - permalink
Well, I don't know if I am embarrassed now... I have few friends to say I am weird, LOL! I have had a few rather embarrassing moments when a family member noticed what kind of pics I have on my PC's.. ;)

If you talked to your therapist, and it seemed to help... GREAT, and more power to you...

An old saying bears repeating here:

'To Thine own Self be True' .... You can't be anything but what you are...

..And umm, you're not that weird...
*goes back to HerBiceps site*
 ;D
bl_flyer
Feb 28, 2012 - permalink
Very interesting topic. I used to feel ashamed, because I like athletic and strong women. But it all has to do with stereotypes. There are some standard stereotypes about what type of women are sexy. However, there are a lot of sides to discover in the female beauty. One, and a very exciting side, is the female strength. And how sexy could be a woman being strong and muscular. I think it is the same, as someone likes big boobs for example. Instead of it I like big muscles -peronaly, I prefer fit and strong muscles, not always huge as the bodybuilding type. So, I am going on with this on my mind, although is really hard to find this type of girls. And it's getting harder sometimes, when girls are afraid to show their strength and muscularity, because of the stereotypes again.
Mar 02, 2012 - permalink
Here's a rare and valuable opportunity to vent about this one because I am in a non-ideal situation ... but then whose is perfect?

I am very happily married to a fantastic woman and we have a delightful little girl. In a mainstream, Western World kind of way, I would rate my contentment with life by most measures as above average (well paid, satisfying job, loving family, nice house, I'm fit and healthy, have many good and supportive friends yada yada).

BUT ... there's a niggle, an itch - if you will.  I adore the look of muscular women. My wife, wondeful though she is in so many ways and as much as I love her, is not of this body type and has no desire to be. On the occasions when she has found me viewing material online or in bodybuilding magazines, she has expressed negative views about this most definitely non-explicit material and also the view that she feels devalued as a non-athletic woman.

 The reason I am clandestine and discreet about my "itch" is that the rest of my lifestyle is so sorted out and there are several very good reasons not to rock the boat.

My guess would be that if I were to be more open about this with other friends and family in my wife's presence, it would damage our marriage and I suspect that it would achieve little. It is said that if you want a marriage to last a lifetime, you have to work at it. Well, keeping my "itch" to myself is part of that work.

Writing this has been quite cathartic.

Reactions to this post are welcome.
anon-e-mouse
Mar 02, 2012 - permalink
Brian, you nailed it. Don't rock the boat and just realize that you are afflicted with sthenolagnia which, in and of itself, is nothing to be concerned about. Don't let the affliction consume you and you can lead an otherwise perfectly content and "normal" life. Sure has worked for me... ;D
Mar 02, 2012 - permalink
I'm never embarrassed just cautious on who and when I reveal my liking the muscular look to. If a woman is muscular and we start a conversation I will always work it in. That being said it can lead her to flex or maybe armwrestle.
marcfrick2112
Mar 02, 2012 - permalink
All I can say is these are some very good posts. And Themick, I use that approach as well...

hereiam
Mar 02, 2012 - permalink
I'm lucky in a sense. Before I met my current wife, I told no one at all about my like of female muscle. After I met my wife to be I took a brave/bold/stupid approach and just decided to tell her 3 months into our relation ship. Honestly, I expected something along the lines of that's gross, or I'll never be like that. She was actually very cool and was asking questions. First she thought I just meant athletic, but I explained it was more than that (ie bodybuilders). She had never really worked out before and I was totally falling for her.

Ten years later, we're married and she's got the lifting bug. She's muscular, but not a crazy workout fiend. She'll flex her arms and legs and she has very sizable muscles for a woman. Basically, very natural and in shape.
qwertyytrewq
Mar 04, 2012 - permalink
I'm just too much of a coward to deal with the taboo associated with this fetish. It's one thing to erase your internet history every day so no one finds out. No one has to come out in public and say what type of women you're attracted to, and, with the exception of talking to your guy friends about hot girls, it's not expected for you to do that. However, engaging in a relationship with a muscular woman is something that you just cannot hide. In a perfect world, I love the idea of bringing a muscular love interest into the picture among family and friends, but that, of course, would be in a Utopian state. I am nervous and even frightened about what the response could be. Realistically, I think my family would think it was weird but be accepting none the less. Among friends, I'm sure I'd get teased about it, but they'd be alright overall. However, I'm more worried about how I would change in their minds and what they'd be saying about me behind their back. That's not to say I'd be worried about if they're saying anything negative but rather that I'd be seen as a different person and they'd question me in other facets of my life as I've been keeping this from them for so long. I've been involved in relationships with non-muscular girls, but none of them got too serious. I enjoyed them romantically and physically, but I've never been infatuated with a girl like I have with some of the muscle girls out there.

So, that's part of the reason why I don't want this attraction to be public knowledge, and it more or less encompasses the embarrassment behind it. However, there's another factor at play for me keeping it secret, and it works more on a subconscious level. Most people like doing what they're not supposed to. There's a huge appeal behind it. The thought of myself keeping this secret of my attraction to muscular women but putting myself in situations that I could get caught excites me. I've questioned whether this is the main reason why I like muscular women, but I know it can't be as black and white as that because I could have chosen anything to be secretive about (being a secretive furry would do the trick as well, but I have no interest in doing that lol). In a way, I kind of see this as a very tame, but tweaked display of exhibitionism, which I think most people have to some degree. You often hear of people getting turned on by having sex in inappropriate places or while someone else is in another room right beside them, and mine is just sort of an amended version of that. While I believe this is a factor, I also think part of it comes from having this all pent up by not revealing it to anyone. This doesn't mean in a sexual way, but rather it being nice to know that I can put this idea out there that I've been living with my entire life without telling anyone. And I think this is the main reason I put myself in these situations, as it seems like it's almost necessary for me to retain my sanity haha. If I made this attraction completely public, I'm confident that getting a kick out of doing this would go away, whether or not the opportunity to do this would still hold up if I were to make this attraction known.

I've completely kept it under wraps with my family growing up, as they were too close to me. With friends, I don't take many risks with it, as rumors can spread like wildfire, particularly in high school, and if a guy gets dirt on you, he'll continuously chirp you about it. That's just the way it goes. When the topic of discussing hot women comes up, I usually just go along with whatever is said, regardless of whether I truly feel that way or not, especially if I'm in a big group of friends. If I'm in a one-on-one situation or something and a situation to discuss it presents itself, I'll occasionally put some feelers out, dropping vague hints, whether it's with a guy or girl. If I'm watching MMA with a buddy I might go with something like "Have you seen how big Ronda Rousey is now? Damn!" Or if I'm with a girl I can steer it towards tennis and say how Serena Williams is in incredible shape or something, or the same thing with a buff actress. Again, very vague, but it just presents the idea that I'm accepting of it. I haven't exactly gotten a welcoming invitation to open up about it though, and I can't even say how I'd react if I did.

Now, growing up I got into a phase where I liked to get it off my chest with people I don't know, or who I have confidence in that the word won't get out. I was still fairly cautious about how I did it though, as I don't want word to get out through someone with a mutual friend of mine. There were many ways that I did this, but they were all pretty stupid and I grew out of all of them. They involved stuff like buying female muscle magazines from stores, and, at the riskiest end of the spectrum, revealing it to a random one-night stand that I knew I'd never see again (who was not muscular at all), and seeing if she'd at least try flexing and taking on a dominant role. Yeah, that didn't go so well lol. I knew it was pathetic when I was doing this stuff and after going through that phase, I came to the realization that I was getting nothing out of it. The thrill came from the thought of exposing myself for being into something taboo, rather than from the act itself. Doing this kind of stuff just ended up feeling weird and stupid. Of course, maybe it was because it really was weird and stupid. My theory is that wanting to get the word out about the attraction is just a replacement for the lack of romantic and social involvement with someone I'm truly infatuated with. There's no way to solve this other than manning up and just trying for a relationship with a buff chick, but I haven't brought myself to that point yet. One thing I've considered doing was to go to a place I had no connection to and book a long session with a big FBB. For the first bit, I'd like to explore what it would be like to basically be out on a date with an FBB, as if she was any other girl I was taking out, because that would be my ideal situation: typical boyfriend taking on a more dominant role socially/romantically, and then getting tossed around and thoroughly dominated by her in bed haha. Of course, to really get my money's worth, I'd like to pack in all of the other usual session stuff as well (I've got my whole itinerary completely mapped out lol). I think this will just remain a fantasy though, as there are too many cons that I can think of. It would cost an absolute fortune, it would probably just leave me feeling unfulfilled and pathetic because I would be paying a woman to go out with me, and it would only create the illusion of a date... Even typing out the idea makes me facepalm.
anon-e-mouse
Mar 04, 2012 - permalink
Geez qwerty (I like your username btw), sounds like you've got a lot to get off your chest. Please continue...
frankharlow8576
Mar 06, 2012 - permalink
Some interesting and honest accounts from a variety of people.

http://24.193.135.52/con.com/peopleSay/psayMSTR.html
log: private
pass: server

(btw - it's reficuulous and a denial of our human nature to be ashamed of an attraction
to muscular women. It goes down to our very basic human nature - the continuation of
the species. The more physically fit the specimen - the more likely it will be a better
canditate to care and provide for it's offspring. The tricky part is perpetuated by the
god damn taboos that woman are not supposed to have muscle and men are. That's
bullshit. Muscular women are gorgeous. They are also exploring their masculine side,
just as mbb's are exploring their feminine side.)

Go with the flow baby - it's a natural as apple pie.
mahishasura
Mar 24, 2012 - permalink
Hello folks. I'd like to share my story of getting into female muscle fanhood with you, and have your opinion and company in this...! It feels good to speak up freely somewhere.. :-)
fbbsmmh
Mar 28, 2012 - permalink
I've told one or two people but I'd be very selective. The last person I told is normally very open about sexual conversations but he made a big joke of it. For me this is a fantasy and I come to this site to give me an outlet for this fantasy.

I know I'd never got a muscular partner for two reasons.
1. These women do not really exist much where I'm from
2. At the moment I'm pretty fat and while losing weight is on my agenda, getting the type of body I would need to attract a female muscle babe is not something I'd have the discipline for.

I'm lucky though in that I'm attracted to all sorts of women, I can't imagine only being attracted to muscular women, that must be awkward.
baron-master
May 06, 2012 - permalink
hi folks.i am coming out if lol..its great to know that there are other folks other than me that is attracted to femuscle..i too have kept it too myself,not sharing how i feel about it,because of fear.fear of riddicule,embarassment,etc.it feels as if i'm in a hidden world.one of my fantasties if you like,would be to sit down with a like minded group sitting in a pub or wherever,and openly share and dialogue about femuscle(with a musclewoman sitting next to me of course).in the uk musclewomen are rare,its looked upon as a joke.alot of the females here dont like femuscle period.they love lots of beer or wine..anyway keep up posting,and thanks
kipling
Aug 28, 2012 - permalink
I'm very attracted to muscular women , but really could not admit it to anybody. I like the type of muscles that are big and defined, the bigger is better. muscle women are amazing and beautiful. one day I saw muscular woman at work, I can not help staring at her , and I think she tried to show her biceps because she bend her elbow in a way to show them and she is sleeveless , when I saw her arms , I was very excited at that scene ,and keep staring at her muscles , I don't know if she noticed but my heart was pounding hard although she is not pretty face wise but she made me crazy by her muscles.   
admiral_bates
Aug 29, 2012 - permalink
Since the age of about 13 I've had a think for muscular women and for me it's been the big one, the likes of Paula Bircumshaw, Paula Suzuki, Bev Francis, Kim Perez, Heather Foster, Melissa Coates, Kim Chizevsky and Andrulla Blanchette.  I've lived with the nasty comments and the "You must be GAY liking that manly woman!" for ages whenever I've accidentally let someone see a pic of the afore mentioned lovely ladies .  Like Baron Master I'm from the UK and the English are very reserved about their feelings, anything extreme or out of the ordinary they just don't know how to react and default to reject as it's the easiest option.

I'm grateful for the fact that there are places like this where I can be open and totally honest about what I like and how I feel.  Like Brian9731 I'm in that relationship with kids etc, I'm slightly lucky as my wife is a fitness instructor and like to keep her body looking toned.  She once mentioned bodybuilding and I jumped on the opportunity to show her "Some pics I found on the web that may interest you, if you were looking for the end result." They weren't extreme like the ladies I normal look at but still the reaction was less than positive and the matter quickly dropped.

I've been a fan for what seems like ages and as part of my nature I've amassed a huge collection of FBB related pics, vids and stories.  I was fortunate to stumble upon a thing called DC++ which is a file sharing program.  On there, there is a hub http://users.atw.hu/madhome/index2.html which is setup just for sharing GWM material.  I'm on there with about 900Gb of stuff.  I've chatted with some of the others users and it's a nice easy way to get new or specific content that you may want.

If anyone here wants to chat I use Yahoo messenger and I'm fbbloveruk
invader88
Sep 07, 2012 - permalink
My wife has always had big muscles (for a woman), noticeably big, and would show definition without flexing. She found pictures on my phone consistantly of muscular women. I like huge muscles on a woman (Ex. Julie Bourassa, Tammy Jones, Renne Toney), she thought I was bi because I like "manly" looking women. I told her exactly what I thought of these women and that it was a turn on for me and that I was very turned on by her as she gained (size) after having our child. She griped that she felt uncomfortable we me rubbing her arms when we were active. I told her that she was a pretty buff looking woman herself. I thought she was going to go off but she shook her head and it simmered down. Now she is asking what I would think if she got more defined, I told her (truthfully) that I didnt want her to loose size and SHE LIKED IT!!! Since then for some reason she flexes and shows off consistantly! I don't know where the turn around came from but she likes being more muscular than me. I have been catching a lot of "what do you think about the wife being so buff"? I amswer truthfully that I love her look and why is that anyone's concern. Everything is fine, I'm completely In love with my wife, and it's like a dream come true. As for being in the closet, I have acceptance for myself and I have to tell you, I am not AT ALL AKWARD with my wife in public. Be proud my man it's all good, we're normal guys that like women with muscles. What's wrong with that? 8)
shaanta2
Nov 20, 2012 - permalink
There are some standard stereotypes about what type of women are sexy. However, there are a lot of sides to discover in the female beauty. One, and a very exciting side, is the female strength. And how sexy could be a woman being strong and muscular. I think it is the same, as someone likes big boobs for example. Instead of it I like big muscles -peronaly, I prefer fit and strong muscles, not always huge as the bodybuilding type.
curawl
Dec 03, 2012 - permalink
Okay, hi all, it is my first post here on the forum.

I am reaching the moment in the self-recognition that I am starting to know how the things work in my case. I think there was in me really really strong condemnation to my attraction to muscle. Though I really admitted that I like'em to very few people, I often found opinions that muscular women are gross, look manly, and one who likes them must be hidden gay and so on. This self-condemnation of my sexuality touched me very gravely. I was insecure in sexual/relationship matters, I did not speak about girls with my friends, I did not really look for girl that could meet my expectations, I did not go to the gym or work out - all of it because this condemnation made me extremely insecure in everything that related to sex or muscle. The important factor of it was our beloved Christianity. I was really deeply engaged in the Catholic commuities, I was very eager believer. My understanding of Christianity led me to the conclusions about men and women and it did not meet what I wanted. I think I just did not fit in the frames that are set in the Bible.
Some months ago I rejected the faith - from other, rational reasons. I think this helped me to become aware that I do not accept myself in sexual aspect. Now situation is slowly changing, I am going to share my attraction to muscle with some close friends, I am starting to look for muscular women in my vicinity and meet them and so on. The insecurity slowly fades, I am becoming more confident.

P.S. I do not want to start a discussion about religion, I just shared my experience.
baredivas
Dec 14, 2012 - permalink
I'm not embarrassed at all, I'm proud to walk around in public with a big strong powerful sexy woman!
guitarman
Jan 22, 2013 - permalink
It is definitely a good idea to be honest with yourself and women you know about your attraction to muscular women.  I'm 64,and very slowly,many years ago,realized how turned on I was by muscular women.  I was embarrassed about the attraction,and,at least three times I dated muscular,attractive women,but didn't know how to express myself.  Perhaps being open about my feelings might have led to a long-term relationship.  Don't know for sure,but maybe if I had told any of these women that their muscles really turned me on they might have understood why I was a bit repressed around them.  It was only when I was in my early thirty's that I noticed a Women's Physique World magazine.and really got aroused.  Anyway,I don't know why muscular women torn me on,I only know they do.  If I would have known forty years ago(or more) that attraction is a very unique thing and that there is more than just one stereotype of what being a woman or man should be.  When I was,say,twenty,I just couldn't tell a woman how I really wanted to feel their muscles. Those were different times,and I was not a self-confident person then.  I would be glad to talk further about my experiences if anyone cares.
motenak
Jan 24, 2013 - permalink
If this is a problem for you then you have a self esteem problem.  This is a lot more common than many people think.  Have you ever seen a guy who gets pissed off when someone looks at the girls he is with and practically wants to kill anyone who notices the girl he's with is good looking.  That type of action is because of his self esteem issues.

My last girlfriend was very good looking.  Too bad that is all she had going for her which made a long term relationship with her impossible.  Anyways, whenever she walked into a room everyone noticed her.  To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, this is how bad (or good if you were in my place) it was.  One night we were leaving a restaurant and there was a group of guys (probably drunk) sitting in the waiting area for an open table.  While walking through my girl was infront and I saw all these guys undressing her with their eyes.  I reached passed her to open the door and held it for an older lady who was coming in.  At this point these roudy guys actually stood up started clapping and chanting something similar to "who's the man".  Personally it made me feel great and also made my girl feel great.  Although she was used to things like this she told me it was refreshing to be with a guy who enjoyed it and didn't want to start a brawl other guys for just looking at her.

Recently I've been lucky enough to become close to a large FBB who everyone on this site would recognize.  When going out in public with her it's kind of the same thing except it's usually other girls who stare at her and give dirty looks.  We refer to these people as haters because we can't figure out a logical reason why a female would have a problem with another girl who happens to be very muscular as well as beautiful.  I guess maybe they are intimidated by her or something.  One night we were eating at one of those Japanese restaurant where you sit around the grill and I could actually hear the girl sitting to my right talking crap (typical stupid  things like she looks like a guy).  While my well known friend was in the bathroom the girl on my right actually felt the need to ask me if my date was a "real" female.  I played dumb and asked her what she meant and she elaborated, basically asking if she was a cross dressing guy.  I asked her why she would think such a thing as she could clearly hear everything we had discussed during dinner.  I was caught off guard at first but turned the tables on her.  I asked her if she was asking if I was gay. This totally through her for a loop and she apologized numerous times and stated that is not what she meant at all.  I then told her that my date was all female and stated that if she had any other questions she wanted answered to just wait until she returned from the restroom.  I then added that I would try my best to make sure she didn't get pissed off and beat the crap of her after tossing her across the room.  I've never seen someone finish eating so fast and run out of a restaurant!

Anyways, my point is that I don't have a self esteem problem and honestly don't care what other people think about me or the person I'm with.  I don't think anyone should be embarassed if they are attracted to muscular women.  I'm just under 6' tall and weigh the same as this 5'3" FBB in off season shape.  It is obvious to anyone who sees us together that she is stronger than me.  Do you think I should be embarrassed by this?  If it's not that what exactly are you embarrassed by?
guitarman
Jan 24, 2013 - permalink
Well,I'm not embarrassed anymore.  I'm just remembering that was an issue for me about 40 years ago.
crissgill
Feb 07, 2013 - permalink
Doing this kind of stuff just ended up feeling weird and stupid. Of course, maybe it was because it really was weird and stupid. My theory is that wanting to get the word out about the attraction is just a replacement for the lack of romantic and social involvement with someone I'm truly infatuated with.
plassy
Mar 21, 2013 - permalink
I love female muscle and I'm not afraid to say it!!! Why would I be?  I don't know why I have this attraction, but I do and I'm really happy with it.  I dated a lot of non muscular/athletic women and after a while I just wasn't attracted to them anymore. I have been called shallow by some women, but I really think it's because they are unhappy that they didn't have what I wanted.  All my friends know what I like...I have even have fb friends message me and say what's up with all the muscle girls on your friends list. I usually say because that's what I like...no LOVE!!!  There is nothing to feel bad about. You only feel bad because that's what society tells you that you should like! I have friends that have foot/hand fetishes...I don't get it, but at the same time I don't care!  I LOVE muscles on women!!!  I'm pretty preticular about what I like, and that's ok because I like it!  My wife is ripped all year round and I'm in heaven!!!  2 1/2 years ago I was always on this site dreaming of having one of these girls as my lady...and it happened!!!  I'm not into the arm wrestling and the lift and carry or being squashed like a bug...that's a whole nother fetish I don't understand either, but if that's what you like and your not hurting anybody then go for it!  There's always the perfect person for you out there!!! Hopefully she's sexy and has muscles ;) Remember there's a sexy muscle girl sitting at home wondering where her love is...just like you are!!!  ;)
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