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After 18 to 24 months the depression begins improving.
Lol,2 years to start feeling any good, oh, and each workout starts feeling good about an hour in. That's the kind of advice that keeps people out of working out. In actuality, i think the rush of positive hormones that compensate for cortisol becomes after just a handful of heavy workouts, and at least in my experience, that instantly give the brain the idea that it is a great temporary fix until you actually get in the groove.
Bitterpill: > I love any muscular woman, they dont need to be a female bodybuilder. > > I am literally dying of lonliness trying to find one. I also have issues like major depression so its even harder to find someone > > Im trying to work on myself but i feel this late in life its probably too late
If you found anything I said above useful, I've gotten into greater depth in other threads if you're looking for inspiration. I don't see any point in rehashing it here. Also, take heed in what asianfitnessfan said above.
I've got a secret for you: Even after you've given up, the world keeps spinning and opportunities keep happening. It's better to be ready to turn those opportunities into experiences than to be caught unprepared. Tell that negative voice inside your head to go elsewhere because you have future opportunities to prepare yourself for.
And while you don't need to be a bodybuilder, it'll help reduce your depression to start regular vigorous exercise. A little body recomposition goes a long way and you'll be unprepared for the day women start finding excuses to be around you hoping you'll notice them. Dedicate 18 months to make exercise a habit. Don't be surprised if you get approached after month 10. Don't do it for the women, don't do it to look better, do it to feel better if you struggle with depression. The other stuff will happen regardless, but the depression is a crutch worth striving to be rid of. Give that 18 to 24 months. It's not a quick fix, but exercise works better than any pharmaceutical.
Great advice, I'm even inspired myself.
After 18 to 24 months the depression begins improving. Lol,2 years to start feeling any good, oh, and each workout starts feeling good about an hour in. That's the kind of advice that keeps people out of working out. In actuality, i think the rush of positive hormones that compensate for cortisol becomes after just a handful of heavy workouts, and at least in my experience, that instantly give the brain the idea that it is a great temporary fix until you actually get in the groove.
Wrong. "Improving", not "feeling ... good". Feeling good might take 36 to 48 months.
And no, the truth doesn't discourage people, it sets realistic expectations so they know what they're in for. Lying or naively telling them "after the first time" because you fail to understand that the brain chemistry for someone with depression, or that is very unfit isn't going to respond the same as you only sets unrealistic expectations. Setting unrealistic expectations means they try it "the once" and quit when it doesn't help.
You clearly don't deal with depression and aren't regressed in your fitness level enough to have lost your receptivity to immediate endorphins.
But for someone dealing with depression, those endorphins aren't felt until they put in those 18 months to start normalizing their brain chemistry. That's why he already admitted that he doesn't like to exercise and you failed to see the connection.
I'm glad for you that you don't know what it's like to experience depression. Hopefully you'll not learn it the hard way. But don't presume that all brain chemistry responds the same way as yours does.
And yes, 18 to 24 months is an insignificant drop in the bucket to a depressed person that's lost years trying and failing to get out of the hole.
Meds only work for a minority of the population, come with awful side effects, and lose effectiveness over the long haul.
Consistent, vigorous exercise is the only solution that works for everyone and becomes more effective over the long term. The "side effects" are looking better, having more confidence, and women hoping you'll notice them.
But it's hard work and it's not a quick fix for depression, and that's the truth.
Great advice, I'm even inspired myself.
Good.
I added the links I promised in the earlier response if you were interested.
I didn't say anything about you liking it. If you're struggling with depression, you've lost the ability to like most things regardless.
You have a choice:
- Be depressed and miserable. Remain depressed.
- Be depressed and miserable but bite the bullet and do regular vigorous exercise, even if you dislike it. After 18 to 24 months the depression begins improving. By 36 months you're much more stable emotionally. By 48 months you're wishing you'd started many years sooner.
I promised improvements, not a fix, and I was upfront from the first mention that it's not a quick solution. It's a lot of work, but it's totally worth it in the long term.
Note: Notice I keep saying "regular" and "vigorous". If you're not consistent, and if you half-ass it, you're just wasting your time. If you don't commit to it with the understanding that your brain chemistry will take 18 months on average to start changing, you'll sabotage yourself before you ever start. And if you reach 18 months, don't stop thinking you're fixed. This is very much a Darwinistic endeavor: Use it or lose it. Keep exercising indefinitely or lose the beneficial changes to your brain chemistry.
As for my last reply, I'll find the relevant posts and share the links rather than have you look. I've got 600+ posts. I don't expect you to skim all that when I know what to look for and can find my posts in a fraction of the time.
Edit:
Here are the links as promised...
"Does anyone feel like they've been cursed with this fetish?" thread in General / Nonfiction:
"Depression" thread in Off Topic:
"Unable to recover after a heartbreak" thread in Off Topic:
"Yet another wasted year" thread in Off Topic:
"Responsibility for GWM not to post people with issues?" thread in Site Discussion:
Hi phenoms, wow, you really put a lot of time, work, and effort into that - thanks.
m100:
Hi phenoms, wow, you really put a lot of time, work, and effort into that - thanks for that.
For the people that can benefit from my experience and act on it, if only one person reads any of these and it puts them on the right path, it's worth it. I only wish I'd been given the same advice in my teens or early 20s.
Go buy an exercise book, sign up for a cheap gym, and start going no fewer than twice per week (3x-4x if you can handle it).
Don't aim to lift heavy (ego lifting). Use lighter weights with higher reps. You'll build strength and endurance and spare yourself the risk of injury.
These are simple rules and concepts that are easy to follow. The fitness industry only overcomplicates stuff because otherwise they'd not have any gimmicks to sell you.
Edit: I forgot to add for anyone doing this, don't skip leg day. It's the best way to improve your blood volume and flow... You want those benefits. Trust me.
m100:
For the people that can benefit from my experience and act on it, if only one person reads any of these and it puts them on the right path, it's worth it. I only wish I'd been given the same advice in my teens or early 20s.
Go buy an exercise book, sign up for a cheap gym, and start going no fewer than twice per week (3x-4x if you can handle it).
Don't aim to lift heavy (ego lifting). Use lighter weights with higher reps. You'll build strength and endurance and spare yourself the risk of injury.
These are simple rules and concepts that are easy to follow. The fitness industry only overcomplicates stuff because otherwise they'd not have any gimmicks to sell you.
Edit: I forgot to add for anyone doing this, don't skip leg day. It's the best way to improve your blood volume and flow... You want those benefits. Trust me.
to the youth I would say:
don't go to the gym.
if you still want to keep it to once or twice a week.
do other stuff... sports, martial arts, music, acting, whatever.
anything social.
in the end it will leave you much more memories than just putting a weight up and down without interacting with anybody else.
> At least were i live women with minor muscles are also really rare. I think that in 30 years I saw maybe 3 women with 6 pack abs and 2 with biceps muscular calves are more common because of random genetics. they were all jogging and not in the mood to talk. one had a boyfriend or brother that looked like a male version of her with the exact same outfit. and other features apart from having a more male looking face. > > I also saw some female cyclists that could be muscular but were too fast I saw them for less than a second. but still 3 in 30 years is not a good sign.
Hate to break it to you: you're going to have to join a gym and go to it regularly.
Women with muscles need to lift weights to build those muscles, and weights exist at gyms. Seeing one in the wild and pouncing on her with an openine line that's more compelling that whatever she's doing just isn't a good strategy.
Alhough yes, as asianfitnessfan posted, joining any kind of athletic club or activity is a great first step
When i used to go to the gym there were no muscular women there and the women were also too busy to talk.
Bitterpill: > I love any muscular woman, they dont need to be a female bodybuilder. > > I am literally dying of lonliness trying to find one. I also have issues like major depression so its even harder to find someone > > Im trying to work on myself but i feel this late in life its probably too late
If you found anything I said above useful, I've gotten into greater depth in other threads if you're looking for inspiration. I don't see any point in rehashing it here. Also, take heed in what asianfitnessfan said above.
I've got a secret for you: Even after you've given up, the world keeps spinning and opportunities keep happening. It's better to be ready to turn those opportunities into experiences than to be caught unprepared. Tell that negative voice inside your head to go elsewhere because you have future opportunities to prepare yourself for.
And while you don't need to be a bodybuilder, it'll help reduce your depression to start regular vigorous exercise. A little body recomposition goes a long way and you'll be unprepared for the day women start finding excuses to be around you hoping you'll notice them. Dedicate 18 months to make exercise a habit. Don't be surprised if you get approached after month 10. Don't do it for the women, don't do it to look better, do it to feel better if you struggle with depression. The other stuff will happen regardless, but the depression is a crutch worth striving to be rid of. Give that 18 to 24 months. It's not a quick fix, but exercise works better than any pharmaceutical.
I'd be delighted to collab on a 'Positivity' thread if you're inclined. :)
m100:
For the people that can benefit from my experience and act on it, if only one person reads any of these and it puts them on the right path, it's worth it. I only wish I'd been given the same advice in my teens or early 20s.
Go buy an exercise book, sign up for a cheap gym, and start going no fewer than twice per week (3x-4x if you can handle it).
Don't aim to lift heavy (ego lifting). Use lighter weights with higher reps. You'll build strength and endurance and spare yourself the risk of injury.
These are simple rules and concepts that are easy to follow. The fitness industry only overcomplicates stuff because otherwise they'd not have any gimmicks to sell you.
Edit: I forgot to add for anyone doing this, don't skip leg day. It's the best way to improve your blood volume and flow... You want those benefits. Trust me.
The thread doesn't deserve you either. 😇
because you fail to understand that the brain chemistry for someone with depression, or that is very unfit isn't going to respond the same as you only sets unrealistic expectations.
Ok, fair enough, and maybe that is actually a good thing because that would mean I never really had depression even though it sure felt like it at a few points. Not trying to pretend i know it all.
Bitterpill:
I didn't say anything about you liking it. If you're struggling with depression, you've lost the ability to like most things regardless.
You have a choice:
I promised improvements, not a fix, and I was upfront from the first mention that it's not a quick solution. It's a lot of work, but it's totally worth it in the long term.
Note: Notice I keep saying "regular" and "vigorous". If you're not consistent, and if you half-ass it, you're just wasting your time. If you don't commit to it with the understanding that your brain chemistry will take 18 months on average to start changing, you'll sabotage yourself before you ever start. And if you reach 18 months, don't stop thinking you're fixed. This is very much a Darwinistic endeavor: Use it or lose it. Keep exercising indefinitely or lose the beneficial changes to your brain chemistry.
As for my last reply, I'll find the relevant posts and share the links rather than have you look. I've got 600+ posts. I don't expect you to skim all that when I know what to look for and can find my posts in a fraction of the time.
Edit:
Here are the links as promised...
"Does anyone feel like they've been cursed with this fetish?" thread in General / Nonfiction:
"Depression" thread in Off Topic:
"Unable to recover after a heartbreak" thread in Off Topic:
"Yet another wasted year" thread in Off Topic:
"Responsibility for GWM not to post people with issues?" thread in Site Discussion: