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How to get your significant other involved in lifting

Jan 07, 2023 - permalink

I have seen quite a few threads asking how to meet muscular woman/female bodybuilders. I have also noticed a lot of threads about guys who are in relationships with a partner who doesn't really train.

So for those who are already in a relationship with a non-muscular woman, how do you think they should convince/motivate/encourage their partners to lift and build muscle? My suggestion is to always lead by example: do you want a partner who has muscle? Then get muscle yourself.

Jan 07, 2023 - permalink

An interesting topic, with mixed results. Once I got confident enough to openly tell women, I'm into fit, buffed ones, it's easier to guage which ones might follow suit. I myself workout and have for years but maybe learned to lead by example, the hard way. My ex-wife was very muscular and quite strong. At the time we were married, I was very thin. I always found our physical differences exciting. A lot of us fantasize about being with a stronger woman, I was married to one! Maybe she wanted more out of me because we divorced after 3 years. If I could turn back the clock, I would have hit the weights a lot sooner.

Jan 07, 2023 - permalink

It doesn't make sense to get into a relationship with an unfit person who doesn't train or go to gym... It's like being into tall women but hooking up with a midget. Yeah, it might be hard to successfully woo an FBB hottie but it shouldn't be too hard to bag a partner that's not a couch-potato and has a more outdoorsy and active lifestyle.

[deleted]
Jan 07, 2023 - permalink

It doesn't make sense to get into a relationship with an unfit person who doesn't train or go to gym... It's like being into tall women but hooking up with a midget. Yeah, it might be hard to successfully woo an FBB hottie but it shouldn't be too hard to bag a partner that's not a couch-potato and has a more outdoorsy and active lifestyle.

I guess it depends on how significant your muscle fetish is. I've dated plenty of non-muscular women and I'm fine with it because muscle isn't everything. I've mostly dated naturally muscular women who do not go to the gym; they were just born with a muscular build.

Jan 07, 2023 - permalink

It doesn't make sense to get into a relationship with an unfit person who doesn't train or go to gym... It's like being into tall women but hooking up with a midget. Yeah, it might be hard to successfully woo an FBB hottie but it shouldn't be too hard to bag a partner that's not a couch-potato and has a more outdoorsy and active lifestyle.

Muscle women are extremely rare. most people are never going to be able to even meet them let alone date them and marry them. so i have to settle for weaker women.

[deleted]
Jan 07, 2023 - permalink

Muscle women are extremely rare. most people are never going to be able to even meet them let alone date them and marry them. so i have to settle for weaker women.

True

Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

It doesn't make sense to get into a relationship with an unfit person who doesn't train or go to gym... It's like being into tall women but hooking up with a midget. Yeah, it might be hard to successfully woo an FBB hottie but it shouldn't be too hard to bag a partner that's not a couch-potato and has a more outdoorsy and active lifestyle.

To clarify, i want to emphasize that this hypothetical person wouldn’t be a completely sedentary couch potato. Rather, if she was at least somewhat active (but not on a “dedicated” level,) how to get them into lifting? I have heard of some people who got their SO into it.

Jan 08, 2023 - edited Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

Gatsby wrote {{{Rather, if she was at least somewhat active (but not on a “dedicated” level,) how to get them into lifting? I have heard of some people who got their SO into it.}}}

@Gatsby...I have gotten a few women into lifting weights. As they firmed up, they saw how it supercharged me and motivated them to do more. It's not as black and white as Kordacov stated. Being into tall women, dating a midget and expecting her to change? It's not like that at all. Lifting weights is one sure fire way to change your body, women included. I'm sure a lot of us in here have had similar success with women. Of course, keeping yourself in shape is a must if you also want her toned.

Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

Muscle women are extremely rare. most people are never going to be able to even meet them let alone date them and marry them. so i have to settle for weaker women.

I 100% agree with the truth of your premises — but 100% reject the lazy hopelessness of your conclusion! All that matters is sex with a one in a million muscle girl. Make it happen!

Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

I 100% agree with the truth of your premises — but 100% reject the lazy hopelessness of your conclusion! All that matters is sex with a one in a million muscle girl. Make it happen!

Yea but why reject all women for the small chance to get the perfect one. it's like if you find a silver treasure and don't take it. because it's not gold. perfect is the enemy of good.

Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

Alright, I'm wondering something. For the guys on here, are you trying to convince your SO to lift to improve their health or just to fulfill your fetish? And say your SO does get into lifting, are you going to try and push to look something you see on here, even if that's not their goal (and may never be)?

Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

Alright, I'm wondering something. For the guys on here, are you trying to convince your SO to lift to improve their health or just to fulfill your fetish? And say your SO does get into lifting, are you going to try and push to look something you see on here, even if that's not their goal (and may never be)?

Facts. This is tilting toward that "Chemical Pink" energy.

We're all different - my fetish is an integral part of my life. My wife is sexy to me, but her health is for her benefit.

Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

Facts. This is tilting toward that "Chemical Pink" energy.

We're all different - my fetish is an integral part of my life. My wife is sexy to me, but her health is for her benefit.

Tre's take on this is more in line with mine. There is however, a second benefit for her. If the fit body she's developing, supercharges your sex life, that should make her happy as well. Like Tre' also said, we are all different. We probably have different levels of attraction for female muscle. Some might find it as a preference, while others have an almost uncontrollable reaction to a muscular woman. I have been enamored with muscles on females since I was about 7. That is over 60 years of going literally crazy over muscular girls and later, women. A non-muscled woman just can't get me going. A muscular one however, turns my libido into an 18 year olds.

[deleted]
Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

Tre's take on this is more in line with mine. There is however, a second benefit for her. If the fit body she's developing, supercharges your sex life, that should make her happy as well. Like Tre' also said, we are all different. We probably have different levels of attraction for female muscle. Some might find it as a preference, while others have an almost uncontrollable reaction to a muscular woman. I have been enamored with muscles on females since I was about 7. That is over 60 years of going literally crazy over muscular girls and later, women. A non-muscled woman just can't get me going. A muscular one however, turns my libido into an 18 year olds.

Same here. As much as I love boobs, muscles on women have always been what supercharges my primal libido.

Jan 08, 2023 - permalink

I love my wife. I love her so much that I could never ask her to do that for me. Off course we talk about it. The biggest problem is actually that everyone we know are aware of my fetish (I have never had problems talking about it), so since she is not really motivated to lift heavy for HER sake, everyone would know it's for ME! The ironic thing about that is the fact that I'm turned off by women that are so weak that they would do anything for her husband. :) And I wouldn't like myself in that situation either. She is a voluptuos, curvy, very busty (natural) good looking woman so it is all good. And when she pretends to be a bodybuilder in role play she is f***ing excellent. :)

So she let me have sessions whenever and she knows I'm flirty and take my relations with muscular women (friends) exactly to the critical point without being unfaithful. It does it for me. And her. I'm not saying it is perfect. It's our concept. We are high school sweethearts going on 24 years and will probably spend our whole lives together.

So my input in this thread is that everyone can find a way to make things work out for themselves. A life with this fetish and meeting the women of your dreams (even without muscles) can be 100%.

Jan 12, 2023 - edited Jan 12, 2023 - permalink

If you are into buff women and you find yourself with an average woman, this will create cognitive dissonance in your mind, stress and ultimately an unhappy relationship. It happens all the time when you’re young horny and impatient. You will find yourself in a relationship with someone who, at worst, is ambiguous about working out, and at best, may make an attempt at working out without goals to be buff. You need to lead by example first, no women in mind. Adopt a routine of working out and achievable goals. Then, find a girl that shares the same lifestyle and goals. My experiences taught me that leading by example is important but not enough. The woman should also be athletic in some way at least. Both of you can discuss and agree on a lifestyle that incorporates lifting weights for health, looks etc. If working out important to you but not your SO, your example may not motivate her to also work out. She needs to work out for herself because she believes it is beneficial for her.

Jan 15, 2023 - permalink

So the general gist is to lead by example, then?

Jan 15, 2023 - permalink

Generally, yes. Leading by example is the best way. If they’re not into it, there really may be nothing you can do to convince them to follow suit, however I’ve found it’s generally happens that if you begin the process and stay regimented, it sort of becomes a routine for both of you. This is especially true once they start to notice your results. I lifted a lot when I was younger and got my gf at the time into training/diet because she liked my gains. We lived together, which made making it a habit easier. She got ripped - full six pack, toned arms, tight glutes - about 6-9 months after we started. Once she started getting compliments, it only fueled the fire further. Years later, we broke up for other reasons. I’m married now and have been lifting and watching macros now for about a year. My wife has been on the train for the last few months. Excited to see what happens.

Jan 16, 2023 - permalink

I love my wife. I love her so much that I could never ask her to do that for me. Off course we talk about it. The biggest problem is actually that everyone we know are aware of my fetish (I have never had problems talking about it), so since she is not really motivated to lift heavy for HER sake, everyone would know it's for ME! The ironic thing about that is the fact that I'm turned off by women that are so weak that they would do anything for her husband. :) And I wouldn't like myself in that situation either. She is a voluptuos, curvy, very busty (natural) good looking woman so it is all good. And when she pretends to be a bodybuilder in role play she is f***ing excellent. :)

So she let me have sessions whenever and she knows I'm flirty and take my relations with muscular women (friends) exactly to the critical point without being unfaithful. It does it for me. And her. I'm not saying it is perfect. It's our concept. We are high school sweethearts going on 24 years and will probably spend our whole lives together.

So my input in this thread is that everyone can find a way to make things work out for themselves. A life with this fetish and meeting the women of your dreams (even without muscles) can be 100%.

How does she do the bodybuilder role play? I'm interested in getting my wife into this as well but not sure how to bring it up. Shes aware of my fetish so it wouldnt be out of left field but just looking for osme ideas.

Feb 01, 2023 - permalink

On another forum, one poster suggested sharing pictures of physically strong and muscular women. Not your stereotypical fitness model, but rather a strong athlete like a strongwoman competitor, a powerlifter or a CrossFitter. Someone whose body is built for strength and purpose, versus only for looking physically appealing. What do you think?

Feb 01, 2023 - edited Feb 01, 2023 - permalink

Well I'll share MY experience, I hope it helps, but keep in mind that there is not secret code, everyone is different

My gf wasn't into fitness at all, and disliked the idea, in the first months of relationship she didn't trained while I was going to the gym. When she started getting some weight, she started to dislike her body (although, she was completely fine and hot, didn't understood her back then), and that’s when I started working the idea of her training, I was direct, "wanna lose weight ? Let's train", and started motivating her, talking about training, sharing ideas and sending some photos of muscular women, but didn't praised them much, I let her do that (u always gotta be careful with praising too much other girls), but I also showed how I liked fit girls, not in a fetish way, but on appearance and how I respected their dedication (indicating that she may have your respect, for some people that’s important). Slowly she not only got thin, but also started to pack some muscle, specially on legs and butt, even saying stuff like "it got bigger, don't you think ?" during sex, and damn, that's hot. Now she is into fitness and doesn't seem she wants to stop anytime soon, doesn't need me pushing her anymore and trains 5 days a week

My tips are, first and for most, you gotta go to the gym, I wouldn't be able to motivate her without being there as some sort of coach figure, if I wasn't fit myself (keep in mind that I'm not buff or anything like that). The other is to not be too direct, cuz fetish stuff is a coin flip, and while they may like you, getting buff for fetish alone is very, very unlikely, u gotta convince them that being strong helps them in some way, not only you

Hope this helps someone, and good luck ;)

Feb 04, 2023 - permalink
Deleted by Chainer
Feb 04, 2023 - permalink

Tried getting my wife to lift weights for about 8 years with no success, she hated it and enjoyed running, spinning and aerobics. Then in 2012 I found Crossfit, where lifting heavy weights was encouraged and celebrated. The competive side of Crossfit encouraged her to care more about what she can do instead of what she looked like. The side effect was she gained muscle, started taking whey protein, and became visibly more muscular. Over the years, her weight has increased from 110lbs to 145lbs. She stopped doing CrossFit but still trains heavy and maintains good muscle tone.

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