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My attraction to strong and/or violent women arose from my ex beating me into the hospital. So there is an element of it I guess. I suppose it is more case by case.
No wonder she’s your ex! What did she do to you and what set her off?
My attraction to strong and/or violent women arose from my ex beating me into the hospital. So there is an element of it I guess. I suppose it is more case by case.
Thank you for your comment.
Did you fully enjoy this incident or cause at least a bit of negative feelings regarding your ex?
I mean being in an hospital and feeling pain is for most people a pretty shitty situation.
My attraction to strong and/or violent women arose from my ex beating me into the hospital. So there is an element of it I guess. I suppose it is more case by case.
Was your ex into martial arts? Did you allow this to happen because you didn't want to retaliate or was she physically stronger than you?
Many men who grew up watching their mothers being physically abused by their fathers end up becoming abusers themselves so I don't believe this is correct OP statically speaking some one who has gone through this would have been more likely to find a weaker partner than a strong one, you could just be the exception but I've never met any one with a preference for strong women that had a similar up bringing so I highly doubt that to be the reason.
I'm sorry you went through this 🙏
Men who break the cycle don't make for good copy, primarily because they're simply raising healthy families and looking out for their communities. Yes, witnesses to abuse often become abusers, but for the most part, "do the right thing" guy isn't responding to surveys or reporting his experiences to a therapist. So, I'd question the methodology of your statistical survey, as it seems far more likely than not that the numbers will be skewed due to an undersampling of those who did not continue the cycle.
OP - I'm very sorry for what your mother and you endured. One of the things many bodybuilders have said is that they actually began lifting in response to abuse they had suffered. I'm not suggesting that's everyone's or even a majority's story, but there is some relative kinship with what you describe about your feelings, even if we're not talking about 1:1 matches.
Yeah, this is entirely why I'm interested in women with muscle. My father was emotionally and psychologically abusive towards my mother, and as I grew up, I became resentful of her for being too weak to defend herself or protect my brother and I.
Now, I crave physically powerful women who won't allow such abuse.
Yeah, this is entirely why I'm interested in women with muscle. My father was emotionally and psychologically abusive towards my mother, and as I grew up, I became resentful of her for being too weak to defend herself or protect my brother and I.
Now, I crave physically powerful women who won't allow such abuse.
I knew I wasn't alone in this.
Thanks dude.
I've considered this. I don't know my father, my mom was abusive, and I grew up in a household of women. At first, I started out just liking muscles as a kid, but, as I got older, muscles on women was a big turn on. I have to think my upbringing played a part somehow.
Feel free to assume that I am wrong, but I think there's another possibility.
The biggest problem in sharing my explanation is that people generally do not understand what is subconscious. In its most basic form it simply refers to emotions that are not understood or regulated by conscious thought but which nevertheless pressure or motivate the person to act. The pressure can range from a little craving for say candy, porn or alcohol to a need to instantly attack something or flee it in panic.
In the logic of "my dad beat my mother and therefore I wish women were muscular and knew how to fight" is a jump from subconscious need or pressure to a conscious rationalization that does not naturally follow from it. You know this because you never rationally chose to admire muscular women or thought your way to it as a conclusion. What really drives this admiration is therefore not a rational choice but a need that is still subconscious. An effect can hardly cause its cause.
In other words, it's something that makes sense on the level of fight or flight. When faced with overwhelming pressure or mental pain people tend to become traumatized and stop thinking. I have stolen the core of this summary from Richard Grannon. There are four so-called trauma responses. Most well known are fight or flight. The third one is to freeze, but the fourth one is the most interesting, and that is to fawn. To become obsequious. Submissive. Servile. Compliant.
The trauma response is not always guaranteed to help the situation. In a domestic violence situation what people, especially children generally do is freeze. But when a traumatized person moves on to a new social situation, he will experience a lower level of anxiety and now all four responses are equally possible, depending on the nature of the encounter.
Here is why both traumatized persons and narcissists at their most socially skilled and confident usually flatter and compliment people profusely or teasingly attack and bully them.
A yet third situation is when the traumatized person is alone and vaguely anxious. Now he can either attempt to flee the place he is in, for example by going for a walk. Or he can go to the Internet and find something to attack. Otherwise he might freeze in place and feel the walls closing in. But the fourth one is again the most interesting. He might find something to fawn over. There is no need for the object to be the original cause of the trauma, as in "men with muscles dot com", but rather the most pleasant and attractive thing he can think of to fawn over. Here only imagination is the limit.
This has given me answers to two other questions. The first and more interesting one was why this particular porn or particular fetish sometimes doesn't seem sexual at all. Is it because going solo is a subspecies of fawning over something, not of having sex with something? The second one was why the question of homosexuality in relation to this seemed so foreign or contrived. It is possible that both heterosexuality and homosexuality are simply invented concepts instead of actual things in reality.
Final thing to keep in mind. You, whoever this may concern, are not trauma responding to these images. You are trauma responding to your situation and the anxiety in it with the help of these images.
And a bonus. What to make of catcalling the images? Before the comment filter was put in place, that is. Remember that one of the four was to attack something.
I'm not gonna lie, I straight up do not understand what you're saying. Can you please dumb it down?
I came to this from a somewhat different perspective. I was REEEAAAALLY messed up right after puberty, and had many fantasies of physically hurting women. This scared me, because I do NOT want to be one of "those guys." So after I was introduced to women's bodybuilding in the form of Laura Combes, I gravitated to women who I simply couldn't beat up, and who wouldn't put up with that kind of sh!t from men. Unfortunately, I found that the women I'm most attracted to, are usually attracted to other women. But at least I'm not an abusive asshole.
Men who break the cycle don't make for good copy, primarily because they're simply raising healthy families and looking out for their communities. Yes, witnesses to abuse often become abusers, but for the most part, "do the right thing" guy isn't responding to surveys or reporting his experiences to a therapist. So, I'd question the methodology of your statistical survey, as it seems far more likely than not that the numbers will be skewed due to an undersampling of those who did not continue the cycle.
OP - I'm very sorry for what your mother and you endured. One of the things many bodybuilders have said is that they actually began lifting in response to abuse they had suffered. I'm not suggesting that's everyone's or even a majority's story, but there is some relative kinship with what you describe about your feelings, even if we're not talking about 1:1 matches.
Thanks for your very kind and interesting post @herbiceps!
Let's face it: The whole thread revolves around dark figures. Not only regarding muscle chicks, but also considering violence/traumatic experiences.
If we like it or not: Being attracted to strength/power I assume is always in some way or another related to coping with fear.
@femcepsfan...I can't believe I just saw this thread. It's definitely an angle I never thought about actually. My love for muscular females started when I was 7. I'm nearing 70 now. Originally it was all about the aesthetics, how beautiful muscles look on a woman. It grew into appreciating the strength aspect due to my ex-wife Sheryl. She was hired to fill a man's position and was ruthlessly ridiculed and rejected by her co-workers. She stood strong, eventually outworking her male counterparts and developed a powerful, muscular body, thanks to the heavy lifting and pulling thick cables on her job. She turned the tables on men in general...trying her best to emasculate any man in her sight. She wasn't physically abused but told me the way men tormented her at work, trying to get her fired, gave her the drive to outwork each of them. Unfortunately, she had a deep desire to try and humiliate men as well.
And here we have another piece of the puzzle regarding my dad inflicting severe violence on my mother when I was at an early age:
Over the last couple of months I have created a lot of AI muscle girl images.
After a while I came up with prompts like “angry”, “aggressive”, “furious” and “yelling”.
It was there where I recognized a pattern in my desires: I get aroused by really pissed off women for some reason, even when they are yelling at me.
Subsequently the fact that I wish to be dominated in the sexual act, even get hurt, passed through my mind.
Then it hit me like a kick to the nuts (pun intended):
I wish to be punished by women.
So I have figured out that this whole Femcepsfan-thing is for a significant part a way for my subconsciousness to pass on the pain my mom experienced in the form of punishment for my part.
Since my father committed suicide not long after the incident happened, the only way my inner child could get his satisfaction is this: My adult version has to seek physically strong women out so they can pay back all the agony my mother experienced back then because of my dad when she could not overpower him. Since I come from my father, I’m the only one left for my fucked up inner little Femcepsfan to fill in for the part.
Thanks for your time.
Have a great one.
Peace
You are very welcome and thank you very much for very your kind feedback and insightful thoughts OliverCarrillo.
Regarding therapy/counseling:
While I completely agree on everything you have mentioned, I strongly assume that in my case it's about 30 years too late. I have already figured that shit out all by myself, it just would have taken significantly less time with the help of some professionals. Better late than never I guess.
Considering a healthier, more fulfilling life:
You see, I've always EXACTLY known what it takes to achieve fulfillment in my life, but that whole based-on-traumatic-experiences-"Femcepsfan"-shit has just stood in my way.
I more than willing to gladly invest way more time and energy in my actual passion in life.
Fuck Femcepsfan, go ahead real me.
And you know what?
IT FEELS AWESOME!
When I was just starting in puberty, I developed a dangerous obsession with violence BETWEEN women (apartment house wrestling fans unite!) and I’ve always felt my attraction to women’s muscles was a CC counter reaction to that. Like, if I was with a strong enough woman, there was no way I could hurt her. Sadly, I’ve learned since then that there are far harsher ways to hurt someone than fists. (Not that I do that either).
When people are overwhelmed under threat, for example when witnessing domestic violence, their thinking stops. They then react in a primitive way. There are four known different primitive ways to react in an overwhelming situation. These are to attack, to escape, to freeze in place and to fawn.
Every time a person is overwhelmed, he is traumatized. This means that the state of being easily overwhelmed and the tendency to react in a primitive manner sticks with him and will surface also in less threatening situations and even as a general reaction to anxiety.
I hope this helped at least a little bit.
Thank you very much for your very interesting, helpful and appealing comments zarklephaser4. I keep coming back to them.
So now I have to figure out if I often live in a state of subconscious anxiety and generally being easily overwhelmed. Very intriguing.
So I guess I have come to terms with myself.
Yes, a huge part of my sexuality was formed on a traumatic experience in my early childhood.
But does that mean that I have to hate and attack this side of me?
Or that I have to spend so many hours almost every fucking day of my life with looking at muscular girls/domination related material to cope with that event?
FUCK NO!
I have learned that trying to kill off something that deep and old in myself only leads to even more suffering. Which actually should have been pretty obvious in the first place. It's like trying to cut off a huge tumor which already took over too much of my body. This CAN only lead to self-harm.
So it is what it is, I can't just make it magically disappear.
On the other hand I don't want to get drawn into that compulsive sexual vortex again and again.
But here what I have learned about myself:
I have a free will, no matter what happend in the past or what tries to drag me away from myself. I just have to be aware of that. So many times that aspect slips my mind.
It is I who decides what I want to do with my spare time. Nobody and nothing else.
But I also have to accept my dark side, since it is and always will be a part of me. So I just can't say "fuck Femcespfan!" and get on with my day. I just have to let it/him be there. Like a radio playing shitty music every so often which I can't just turn off. But when I focus on fulfilling activities its volume gradually decreases and becomes silent.
I see it also as a impulse control disorder. I have conditioned myself over all those years by succumbing to every single sexual urge whenever I saw a muscular/physically strong woman with an attractive face.
Like eating cake every single time I saw one in a store window in a street filled with candy stores. That can't be healthy!
Gotta change that- awareness is the key.
Alright, thanks to everybody who took time to read this.
Have a great one.
Peace
I have noticed recently a desire on my part for my wife to be aggressive, and find it quite sexy now when she is. I've got a desire for her to be a Momma Bear: strong, hairy, and aggressive (and she kinda likes at least some of that idea).