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What's the psychological reason why a man might be attracted to a woman with muscles?

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Nov 22, 2021 - permalink

Yes, we are the ones that don't confirm to the normal roles of male and female. Like you said I'm not only attracted if the girl has more muscles but is more intelligent, has a better job / money etc etc

But this does not mean that I want to be weak in every aspect of life. I have a good physique, a great job and I think above average intelligence. If both partners strive for greatness then they spur each other and go far in life. That is very attractive

Well not to toot my own horn or anything but it's pretty rare for a girl to be outright more intelligent than me.

But Women in general usually are better at having their life together and are harder working and because of that they're increasingly making more money than men.

Now we just need to get them to start lifting weights more.

Nov 22, 2021 - permalink

More muscles = more curves. Big arms and legs are just as eye-catching as big boobs and butts.

Big boobs signal generosity. Not that the woman would want to sleep with everyone but that once you are with her, she will be all about you.

I am not saying that there aren't selfish psychopaths running around who happen to have big boobs. Just saying that on a woman who has the right mindset, the male mind interprets boobs as a bonanza of care and comfort.

Nov 22, 2021 - permalink

We select for all manner of things with regard to being able to acquire resources. Some not-small percentage of humans seek out strong partners because they feel this would provide greater security for any potential offspring.

The biologically most attractive female form looks something like this:

https://www.bouguereau.org/Naissance-De-Venus...

Problem with that thing about security is that it confuses real instincts with imagined rationalizations. What a mature man is mostly after in a woman in biological sense is fertility. And the figure of Venus is the epitome of that. Attraction to muscles on a woman is always about idiosyncrasies of the particular man. For some reason some man feels safe and accepted if the woman is able to be in control.

Another possible explanation is that the man needs the woman to have a basic insecurity which she then compensates with muscles, veins, tattoos and such tough girl stuff. If the woman was just mentally confident the man would find hard to feel or experience or enjoy that on a visceral level. But through the muscles this becomes possible.

Contrary to my earlier explanation the insecurity is not necessarily in the man but can also be a fear of insecurity in women. The man does not need the woman's confidence per se but a tangible sign of confidence.

Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

First of all, I'm not attracted to massively muscular women. Yes, I find some moderately built girls attractive but I mainly like girls who are a bit more muscular than bikini competitors. I also find regular girls attractive, but not as much as muscular ones.

I think I just don't like fat. Thick layer of fat under skin turns me off. I think too much fat distorts the beautiful shape of female body. But I also don't like girls whose arms and legs look like sticks. Therefore I'm attracted to toned bodies.

I also find strength and good posture very attractive, probably because both of them indicates a healthy body.

Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

More muscles = more curves. Big arms and legs are just as eye-catching as big boobs and butts.

Big boobs signal generosity. Not that the woman would want to sleep with everyone but that once you are with her, she will be all about you.

I am not saying that there aren't selfish psychopaths running around who happen to have big boobs. Just saying that on a woman who has the right mindset, the male mind interprets boobs as a bonanza of care and comfort.

Yes.

Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

jesus.... why overthink everything ? you like what you like.

Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

I can only speak for myself here. Here's my backstory.

I'm 8 years old in my elementary (or primary for the non-US folks) school. There's a girl named Melissa. She's into sports. She has a pretty face, and I'm talking to her†. I forget the exact conversation; it was over 30 years ago. It had something to do with her playing sports. I remember clearly what I saw. She lifts her shirt and shows me her stomach and tells me to touch it. She has a little six-pack and an outie belly button. She tells me about the sit-ups she does. I touch it, and its really hard and tight. I remember giving it a playful punch, and her giggling. I was so young I didn't understand where to go next. That would change later on.

I'm 14, and I'm talking with a girl named Claudia. She works with her mother as a modelling instructor in the elementary schools modelling program. She had a body like a ballet dancer. All I could tell was her legs were quite muscular and she had a bubble butt despite being slim. One day her shirt goes untucked‡ and she tucks in it. I get a glimpse of her stomach, and she clearly has a six-pack. She catches me looking and smiles. We hangout together a lot.

That same year, my first official girlfriend Patty has great shoulders. I find out later she has great abs too. We dated until college. We then go our separate ways.

I meet several other girls throughout the years with muscles, and date them. Interestingly, I've never been rich, or been particularly fit. I've never been with an FBB, fitness, figure, bikini, etc. athlete. But I have dated some muscular women and find myself particularly attracted to them. I've been attracted to them ever since I've been a child.

I don't want to go into the details of every relationship, but I wanted to point out that for me, there's no psychology about it I can identify. It's tied into my sexual identity. It's been that way since childhood. It's hardwired. I'm not just a heterosexual, I'm a femyosexual. (fem: female; myo; muscle; sexual)

I've never been attracted to domineering women or ones that try to control me or tell me what to do. It's toxic to me. I like sweet, feminine personalities. I also like athletic, muscular bodies. I don't see how the two are mutually exclusive. So I don't know what the psychology of it is. I'm just attracted to particular aesthetic.

†I don't ever remember going through an "Ew! Girls!" phase and was attracted to them very young. As a boy I was criticized for hanging with the girls because the other boys were still in that phase.

‡I was at a private school at the time. We all had to have our shirts tucked in. The girls wore skirts. Very nice for me at the time.

Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

I can only go by what I felt growing up and now, I’ve always liked bigger women. Both BBW and FBB. I think I saw a cartoon that female muscle on it, I think it was that Tiny Toons episode that had female bodybuilders on it and something must have clicked in my head.

Psychologically, I don’t know why that awakened something. I think with some people they are just born with what you like. I just happened to love big muscular women and big women in general.

Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

From my research the foot fetish is the most common next to the fetish for muscular women so it is not uncommon

[deleted]
Dec 30, 2021 - edited Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

Well, why are (some) women into muscles?

Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

Muscles is health (at least it was before humanity invented steroids), and everybody is attracted by health.

Dec 30, 2021 - permalink

I found this article a few years ago which offers a lot of detailed information about this topic and also includes its sources:

link text

There’s some very nice pictures as well :)

Jan 18, 2022 - edited Jan 18, 2022 - permalink

I have one more take on this. Or clearly I hinted at it the previous time already.

Contrary to my earlier explanation the insecurity is not necessarily in the man but can also be a fear of insecurity in women.

Men are attracted to muscular women. Not because they had a domineering mother and need to repeat that trauma to learn to cope with it or to come to terms with it. Or to sexually enjoy an identity of being a victim of abuse. But because hidden behind a domineering, suffocating or manipulative attitude is a neediness. A mother is supposed to be a source of security for a child. But a mother who is fearful and needy can not and does not provide that security.

A boy like this will superficially and on the surface see and experience the mother as too powerful, too selfish and self-sufficient, domineering and overconfident, when in reality all this covers for a fundamental insecurity. So when a boy like this initially grows up, he suffers from an insecurity he will have a hard time putting a finger on. But as soon as the first confident, strong, sporty or muscular girl comes along he will suddenly realize that women can be confident too. That such women exist with whom he does not have to fear for their stability or be afraid of their needs. This will bring him the sense of security he has always been lacking. Or at least a fantasy or a taste of it.

In Freudian terms this is called the castration anxiety, or the fear that women don't have a penis. This is not an anatomical reference but a figurative one. Male children of a confident, mentally well-established mothers have little difficulty overcoming this. But children of a needy and insecure mother will be stuck in a confusing dilemma where the mother is extremely willful, even narcissistic and abusive but simultaneously frightfully weak and insecure.

I know and it has already been said that not all men attracted to muscular women are weak and timid. This is probably because what they are has to do with the relationship with their father and how they perceive women comes from their relationship with their mother. I actually know an example of this but I realized it only after I had spelled out this idea.

I am not saying this is the only answer or that this is always part of the answer but at least sometimes the answer to the original question is the fear of having to emotionally support an unpredictably needy woman. I find it obnoxious when these women are called goddesses, but somehow I see now where it comes from. Also why their confidence and serenity is for some not only nice or sexy but the difference between an emotional heaven and hell.

Finally a strange dilemma. It makes more sense to be afraid of the weakness that motivates the abuse than the abuse itself. Very few men learn to avoid the abuse because they have learned to focus on, live with and basically ignore the fear of the weakness. When a man like this has his first encounter with a muscular woman, he feels maybe relieved, even elated.

But if he has no social skills for getting along with the newfound wonder woman, he might paradoxically wish to repeat the pattern he had with his mother and fantasize of being used and abused all over again. Those who put the greatest stock in the muscular woman's confidence and therefore her lack of need to be abusive at all have the greatest need for sadomasochism. I wish she would twist me into a pretzel can be translated to I wish she were my mother. Because there is this vague idea that this muscular wonder woman could be a way forward.

Jan 18, 2022 - permalink

It’s a symbol of power. Fetishes generally center around power play or an obsession with a specific object (like latex). They tend to be about being in a position of power or admiring someone in a position of power, or being at a total loss of power. Think subs/doms in bondage.

Think of any kink in the world and you can pretty easily figure out how power relates to it.

Feb 08, 2022 - permalink

They tend to be about being in a position of power or admiring someone in a position of power, or being at a total loss of power.

The power need not be literally physical. Being sexually desirable is also a form of power.

If people limited sex and sexuality to purely procreation, then a man would simply get a woman pregnant and be done with it.

When sex and sexuality are used for recreation, it becomes necessary to turn parts of the person into signs and symbols of desirability, which is also power. Any muscle on any living creature can then become an interchangeable symbol of desirability and power with any other, regardless of gender, age or even species. And to desire being subject to someone else's power is called masochism. Any sex for recreation is therefore sadomasochistic by definition.

Muscles are just muscles. A shapely figure is just a shapely figure. The sexual desirability of any body or body part does not exist in physical, external reality. The procreative capacity of a person on the other hand does. The desirability of a body or a body part for any other purpose is created within the mind of the desiring person. The meaning of the word perversion is literally nothing more than this turning inward of the mind, that is, towards the imagined symbolic meaning of the body or the body part which makes it desirable and thus powerful.

Sometimes this desire is also mimetic. The desiring person, a man in this case, first sees the woman desiring herself or admiring herself. Flexing her muscles and admiring them for example. The man then imitates or copies this desire, piggybacks on it or mentally fuses with it. This is why it's hard to imitate a desire when the woman herself is not especially fond of her muscles.

It seems like muscles per se are not powerful at all. The woman's desire for herself, a real one or one imagined by a man, creates the power on the symbolic level.

Feb 08, 2022 - permalink
Deleted by cgsweat
Mar 14, 2022 - permalink

There is one aspect more to the trauma caused by insecure mothers and that is narcissistic mothers. In narcissistic disorders, a person gains satisfaction from using other people. A child like this has mostly seen his mother happy when she has had her way with him or has somehow managed to emotionally manipulate or use him or someone else.

This is because narcissists do not have a genuine personality and make up for the lack of it by scripting interactions and forcing others subtly or openly to play along. I do not care if I am your hero or not, but I am going to talk as if I were and you better respond accordingly.

To see a female bodybuilder admire her muscles is comforting because she clearly has a reason for happiness or satisfaction in herself and does not need to mentally consume the hapless boy to achieve it. Or in Freudian terms, a narcissistic mother uses his son as a penis substitute, but a female bodybuilder has no need for that because her muscles serve the same purpose. The relief can be put into words by saying that the boy is no more needed as a part of someone else's personality and can therefore finally be himself.

People generally do not receive abuse voluntarily. Less known is that neither do people generally give abuse voluntarily, but because they, be it parents, coaches, teachers, relatives or strangers, have found their situation unbearable and find in abusing someone an easy coping mechanism.

The wonderful thing in sadomasochism and female bodybuilders is that most of them can clearly choose between abusing and not abusing the admirer. Depending on the situation and his state of mind the admirer is then drawn towards playful, confident, angry or timid muscle women, ranging from wishing that the fbb would just take control to being plain cute and approachable without smashing him even if she could.

[deleted]
Mar 15, 2022 - permalink

If only the responses of the brain would be measured to get a better picture of what's going on. I see a lot of different 'cases of attraction', to me it makes no sense for there to be an attraction on an evolutionary level as both providence and history have decided the male is to be the physical and social (that is, the male takes charge over a family unit in both provision of food and security) 'superior' of the female. Of course the terminology used here is mostly wrong as the family is a singular unit. Man and woman are complementary in nature, the "superiorty" question is a false dilemma. a perfect family is oriented to two goals: the successful raising of offspring and good natured worship to the Creator of all reality. Man and woman must work together to achieve these goals, we are not made to be individuals and this is evident in all fundaments of what makes us human.

None of that explains attraction to muscular women though. Others in this thread note of always having had this attraction. Artworks posted also say more than a thousand words. Perhaps for some men it just has to do with a desire to explore? After all, muscular women the likes you see on this website are rare to wife up with and find. Did someone call it thropy wife theory? As for those who are mentally consumed with the fetish stuff (you know them by the comments they leave, also, not casting shade. Just an observation.) I have no idea what this could stem from except for an extreme lack of discipline to control their urges. They might be willing to explain it better themselves though.

Mar 15, 2022 - permalink

There is one aspect more to the trauma caused by insecure mothers and that is narcissistic mothers. In narcissistic disorders, a person gains satisfaction from using other people. A child like this has mostly seen his mother happy when she has had her way with him or has somehow managed to emotionally manipulate or use him or someone else.

This is because narcissists do not have a genuine personality and make up for the lack of it by scripting interactions and forcing others subtly or openly to play along. I do not care if I am your hero or not, but I am going to talk as if I were and you better respond accordingly.

To see a female bodybuilder admire her muscles is comforting because she clearly has a reason for happiness or satisfaction in herself and does not need to mentally consume the hapless boy to achieve it. Or in Freudian terms, a narcissistic mother uses his son as a penis substitute, but a female bodybuilder has no need for that because her muscles serve the same purpose. The relief can be put into words by saying that the boy is no more needed as a part of someone else's personality and can therefore finally be himself.

People generally do not receive abuse voluntarily. Less known is that neither do people generally give abuse voluntarily, but because they, be it parents, coaches, teachers, relatives or strangers, have found their situation unbearable and find in abusing someone an easy coping mechanism.

The wonderful thing in sadomasochism and female bodybuilders is that most of them can clearly choose between abusing and not abusing the admirer. Depending on the situation and his state of mind the admirer is then drawn towards playful, confident, angry or timid muscle women, ranging from wishing that the fbb would just take control to being plain cute and approachable without smashing him even if she could.

This is hands down the most reasonable explanation I've seen in the psychology realm. I had a similar upbringing so I can attest to that. I also worked in psychology for a decade.

[deleted]
Mar 15, 2022 - permalink

My thoughts are that it’s a case of wanting what you can’t have. I tend to agree with the impressionable age, catch a glimpse of muscle etc. I’m sure I was only 8 when I saw a similar aged girls washboard stomach, but I don’t fantasize about 8 year old muscular girls, however all my life since Iv been attracted to pics, videos, etc that have that 1 in a million shredded look on a women. Now content is easier to find so visually easy to have what I want. BUT…..the ultimate fantasy is to feel those rock hard abs, day after day, and that’s where the “want what you can’t have” theory makes sense for me. Lack of an Adonis body and good looks, I’m realistic enough to know I couldn’t offer anything to my fantasy women. So all the time I’m still not satisfied, never will be. I’m sure this is why my fetish has lasted so long.

Mar 15, 2022 - permalink

This explanation got me relieved and suddenly everything make sense. Really thank you. Amazing observation

There is one aspect more to the trauma caused by insecure mothers and that is narcissistic mothers. In narcissistic disorders, a person gains satisfaction from using other people. A child like this has mostly seen his mother happy when she has had her way with him or has somehow managed to emotionally manipulate or use him or someone else.

This is because narcissists do not have a genuine personality and make up for the lack of it by scripting interactions and forcing others subtly or openly to play along. I do not care if I am your hero or not, but I am going to talk as if I were and you better respond accordingly.

To see a female bodybuilder admire her muscles is comforting because she clearly has a reason for happiness or satisfaction in herself and does not need to mentally consume the hapless boy to achieve it. Or in Freudian terms, a narcissistic mother uses his son as a penis substitute, but a female bodybuilder has no need for that because her muscles serve the same purpose. The relief can be put into words by saying that the boy is no more needed as a part of someone else's personality and can therefore finally be himself.

People generally do not receive abuse voluntarily. Less known is that neither do people generally give abuse voluntarily, but because they, be it parents, coaches, teachers, relatives or strangers, have found their situation unbearable and find in abusing someone an easy coping mechanism.

The wonderful thing in sadomasochism and female bodybuilders is that most of them can clearly choose between abusing and not abusing the admirer. Depending on the situation and his state of mind the admirer is then drawn towards playful, confident, angry or timid muscle women, ranging from wishing that the fbb would just take control to being plain cute and approachable without smashing him even if she could.

Mar 15, 2022 - permalink

This is an interesting topic.

I myself have always been attracted to really "superior" women.

That includes women who are unbelievably smart, like Marilyn Vos Savant with her 230 IQ, as well as women who are amazingly muscular and can lift weights I couldn't even budge.

For years I was a semi-pro rock & roll drummer, and a few years back I discovered on YouTube a good-looking then-18-year-old girl named Devikah who supposedly had only been playing drums for five years and was already covering the most complex jazz fusion pieces from memory without breaking a sweat. In my experience (and I'm no dummy, as an Ivy League grad who once scored an 800 on a French SAT test), even a minimum proficiency on drums takes at least ten years, and this girl was crushing it in five.

My mother was a champion tennis player back in the thirties and forties, so perhaps she inspired my attraction to "superior" women.

I should mention as well that I have an out-of-control boob fetish: there are no limits to how large natural breasts can grow on a girl, provided she is still thin and has a nice body; admittedly, girls built like this are extremely rare (see a famous model named Anya Zenkova -- my all-time favorite).

For many years, I had a friend -- a man some ten or fifteen years older than me -- and we both shared the same enthusiasm for extremely muscular or big-boobed women. The two of us were both "creative" guys in an ad agency -- he an art director, me a copywriter. He said he was just drawn to women with extreme bodies.

He was a tall and good-looking guy who had no trouble attracting women; I was short and therefore not very popular with women.

Well, I'm going on here, but I would be interested to know if there are other guys here who share my friend's and my interest in both women with big boobs and women with big muscles (I'm a bicep guy myself!)

[deleted]
Mar 15, 2022 - permalink

As a young teen I was attracted to sexy cheerleaders with sexy big legs. These were pretty girls out of my league. I found them sexy and superior to me. When I later found FBB in the 80’s I was very attracted to their muscles and beauty. I fetish the dominating fantasy they present. I want to worship them and have them dominate me.

Apr 21, 2022 - permalink

There is one additional piece of information I would like to add to this.

In psychoanalysis there is a thing that is called the object. Every person is born without a self or an identity and will quickly begin storing memories and observations. These memories enable the person to construct an idea of first a physical self and then a self that can have a physical effect on the environment. That is, I scream, mommy will come.

In a third step the growing person will begin to formulate in his mind rules about things, events and persons. These are physical things that are obvious to everyone, such as buying ice cream, paying for groceries or throwing a stone. The point here is that no concept of self is necessary, because it is the physical action or outward ritual that matters. Stones are thrown basically by all persons in the same way.

When a person starts forming ideas about who he is or who the others are, he faces a new challenge because now he must form a stable idea of something that is technically invisible, not repeatable and also unique in space and time. That is, your feeling about some person, thing or event exists only in a given place and in a given moment.

From these unique occurrences it should be possible to build an idea of a self that is independent of but also related to other selves. Also in a way that enabled you to differentiate between the two. In other words, the self is a learned thing, as is one's idea of who or what are other people. Growing in unstable circumstances or with unstable people this may not necessarily happen.

This will result in the person constructing a partial or an exaggerated idea of self and others. This idea will change by the minute. It will be made out of all the random, unstable or unhealthy things witnessed and experienced about people in addition to all the sane and healthy things.

This combination or sum of all the ideas that the person experiences in a given situation that not only define the situation but more importantly the self experiencing it is what is called in general the object. It can be subdivided and it can be referred to by its different parts and features. This is why some theories talk about split objects or self-objects, but basically "the object is a thing, a mental construct the self is defined by, by being related to it, inside the mind of the person experiencing it".

A normal, healthy person will form a stable idea of self. This enables him to experience life and interactions more and more as they are, with less and less interference from his objects. Also with less and less wishful and fanciful thinking or exaggerated ideas.

The challenge is that the object often works like a drug. It not only contains a maladjusted interpretation of the situation, but that interpretation also feels good because it is so clear and comes so easily. Not to mention that fanciful thinking often causes pleasure. The alternative is a mundane and boring world full of insecurities and banalities that you must constantly seek to learn from and interpret anew. A world where most things simply are not special or exciting or deeply meaningful or about you.

When it is said that some men objectify women, it therefore literally means that those men use those particular women as a part of their fanciful interpretation of reality and self. For example that the man is someone in whose company women are confident and secure and feel pleasure. Or that the man deserves the attention or the pleasure or the excitement of the woman's company.

To put it briefly, the reason for this attraction is to experience the self in a fanciful manner in relation to these women, their confidence and their pleasure.

Apr 21, 2022 - permalink

Damn... that's some deep doo doo there. I just know that my libido goes completely insane at the sight of a muscular female. Been enamored with muscles on girls since for as long as I can remember. I used to question it.... what's wrong with me? My friends think muscles on girls are gross. Why do I get a sudden jolt of excitement? I no longer question it. I just enjoy the ride and thankfully thousands upon thousands of females in the world think that muscles look good on them too.

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