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Chatting up muscular girls at the gym/around town

nubreed000
Sep 06, 2019 - permalink
Whenever I see a muscular girl in the wild, I always get pretty nervous/awkward and try not to stare, but I would also love to actually approach them and chat with them aybe even get a number): now what my sometimes socially awkward ass has is: what's the appropriate way to do it? Do you just go with "wow miss you're jacked! Do you compete??" comment on her shoulders? Arms? Back?
actaeon
Nov 03, 2019 - permalink
I wish I could be more helpful, but I don't get to gyms enough, and I've never seen one anywhere else. I once saw an FBB leaving the gym, and I saw another staying at it, but I was a little afraid to look for too long.
noswal
Nov 05, 2019 - permalink
If I see a muscled woman, I normally will stop & compliment her on her physique-If she's not with a guy or the guy is elsewhere.
They tend to appreciate that & I do normally ask if they compete etc. & do they have media coverage I can follow.
A few nice chats etc.have ensued over the years because of it.
My favourite place to see them is when on holiday by the pool beach & everything she has is there to be admired, also if I'm in the gym & have never seen them there before.
cgsweat
Nov 07, 2019 - permalink
Women are women, whether they have muscles or not.  They like for you to treat them normally, and not as though you're just stalking them just for their bodies.  Charm can go a long way, but not everyone is naturally charming.  It's something that takes practice.  If you strike out, keep trying.  Be genuinely interested in getting to know her as a person, that your interest goes beyond just her body.  She needs to feel comfortable around you, and she needs to feel like you're someone she can trust.
bugenhagen
Feb 23, 2020 - permalink
Depending on where I meet them I crank up the charm and refrain from any body talk until we have a good rapport. Unless it's one of those obvious situations where she's showing lots of interest.

These days, I'd rather not wait to get to what seems to be the only thing I'm interested in which is muscle talk, flexing, fawning over her physique. But I always play more conservative with the more overtly muscular women. Just better  to know them on other levels first.
Jan 07, 2021 - permalink

I see them all the time in the wild.

Whole Foods, airports and gyms are where you will see them.

I don't think there's an "appropriate" way to approach them, but I've had success approaching them by not mentioning their muscles (the bigger their arms, the harder it is to do) and not acting like a weirdo.

Jan 07, 2021 - permalink

I've met Melissa Frabbiele, Christina Sondgroth, and Allison Ethier in the wild, plus some whose names i don't know. I had pleasant conversations with all of them. Christina asked me if I wanted to take a picture with her (I did). Allison is now a Facebook friend, although she and I haven't said all that much to each other. It's not that hard, just be a gentleman and treat them like any other women you'd meet.

Also Rebecca Hasulak, but she is not a bodybuilder, she's a model who's very fit.

Jan 07, 2021 - permalink

I know it can be difficult, but as it's been said a few times above you just go with the flow and treat them like any other person, because despite looking different, most are really just people, although I've met a few who are a little nuts.

I think you can start with a compliment on their physique. I haven't met a woman who didn't like a compliment. In my experience, women who work hard and spend so much time working of their body really like a when someone notices and has something kind to say. Many times, depending the location and situation it leads to a real conversation. But again don't be creepy and overly admiring. You've said it once, she knows you like her look, you don't have to say it again in a different way.

PaulMasvidal (above) knows where to find them. I think in some ways the gym is the most difficult place to strike up a conversation, because I know myself and the other hardcore guys and girls in my gym don't really like to have a conversation on workout time. Paul's also spot on about Whole Foods and Airports, at least in my neck of the woods. Almost every other time I'm in Whole Foods in my town I run into someone who body builds, male or female. And airports here in south Florida too.

Funny story about the airport, I was always into muscular women, way before I got into bodybuilding myself, and I was at the baggage claim carousel when I saw a gorgeous (in my eyes, at least) woman bodybuilder waiting for her bag. She was probably in her early to mid 40's and I was just in my early 30's. I was coming home from a trip and she was from out of town meeting girl friends. I didn't know her from Eve, but ended up driving her to her hotel on the beach and all I did to start the conversation with her was to ask her "Do you need me to get that for you?" as she reached for her big bag. She said "No, I got it" and as she was pulling it off with one arm she gave me a quick flex with the other. We got to talking more after that, I won't bore you with the rest, I just wanted to show how really easy it is, if you just relax, breath and don't over think what you are going to say.

Jan 07, 2021 - permalink

Damn I hope I can finally get a more stable job and treat myself to one-off visits a couple of times a month and find myself a place with above-average women...

[deleted]
Jan 07, 2021 - permalink
Deleted by fp909
Jan 16, 2021 - permalink

I find gyms are a bit shit cos they always have headphones on - it's a bit weird/creepy to tap them on the shoulder to get them to remove their Beats just to gormlessly say "Hiya" or whatever cheesey line you have. BUT... By dint of regularly attending a gym you can get on nodding terms, smiling terms purely my crossing paths several times. This kind of opens the doors to eventually being able to get past the headphones and say "Hiya" without being invasive or creepy. Obviously pick your moment, between her sets or at the water cooler or such like. I don't actively try to hit on ladies at the gym but I've still got on quite friendly terms with three seriously muscular ladies in past 18 months at my gym. Oh, don't wear headphones yourself. I've had ladies come up to me at gym to chat and I'm pretty sure being the only guy NOT wearing headphones was a major factor in that interaction happening.

Feb 25, 2021 - permalink

Approaching them at the gym is probably the least successful way venue to do it at, but that depends on the gym. If you're at a big box gym like an L.A. Fitness or an EoS, you'll find that most people want to get their workouts done and leave and they're not interested in striking up conversations with random people. However, if you're at a smaller, more boutique gym like a Crossfit gym, or a boxing gym or a bodybuilding/powerlifting/olympic lifting gym that has a more community-oriented environment, you'll have more success with meeting people, establishing friendships, which could eventually lead to interacting with muscular and fit women. It takes time, though. You'll want to show that you're committed to training at that gym, and when you start interacting people, don't be that guy who ONLY chats up the women; that's a good way to get yourself ostracized. Instead, be friendly with everyone: men and women. That way, the women at the gym won't see you as that guy who is only there to hit on the ladies.

Outside of the gym, use your environment instead of opening up with something like "Wow! You are jacked!" which is something they have probably heard a thousand times over. For example, I chatted with a random buff woman at the bookstore by merely commenting on her book: she was in the travel section, and I asked if she had any fun trips coming up, which led to her talking about where she was going next and what her last trip was, which led to me talking about my travels, and it went from there. Through Instagram, I started a friendship with a local bodybuilder simply by saying positive things about her lifts. Things like "great form!" or "made that look easy!" were positively responded to. Basically, if you're going to go the compliment route, you're better off praising her technique or strength vs being yet another guy who only talks about her muscles (trust me, buff women get those comments A LOT.) She wound up posting a story showing her doing front squats, and after responding to that she mentioned her wrists hurt doing that. I wrote back saying that in my crossfit journey I struggled with my front rack position, and recommended some videos to help with her mobility. She thanked me, wound up following me back, and I invited her to my gym for a workout which she accepted.

The key takeaways here is just to treat her like a person, not a goddess. Basically, the less "schmoe-y" that you are, the more success you'll have. Good luck!

Feb 25, 2021 - permalink
Deleted by PaulMasvidal
Feb 25, 2021 - permalink

its just a girl, bro. talk to her like you would talk to any girl.

[deleted]
Mar 02, 2021 - permalink

The ones at gym tend to wear headphones for the express purpose of warding off guys who want to hit on them.

Mar 02, 2021 - permalink

this is not to throw you down but if you look at female bodybuilders in the gyms.... they are generally with male bodybuilders. this means, if you are fat joe and come to a fbb saying "you look great" she will say thanks and leave. if you want to share your life and maybe marry her you need to share her lifestyle which pretty much means becoming a male bodybuilder.

There is a vast gulf between being a "fat Joe" and a male bodybuilder. While being fit will help with attracting women with muscle, you don't have to specifically be a bodybuilder. There are a lots of fitness activities that you can do, and if specifically interested in strength training, in addition to bodybuilding there's powerlifting, crossfit, olympic lifting, strongman, etc. I know a male powerlifter who is dating a physique competitor, I know a female crossfitter dating an MMA athlete, and I know a male bodybuilder dating a strongwoman.

And use that as motivation to get in shape! I love lifting weights and being fit, but I fully admit that part of my motivation for working out six days a week is because I am attracted to buff women.

Mar 03, 2021 - edited Mar 03, 2021 - permalink

There is a vast gulf between being a "fat Joe" and a male bodybuilder. While being fit will help with attracting women with muscle, you don't have to specifically be a bodybuilder. There are a lots of fitness activities that you can do, and if specifically interested in strength training, in addition to bodybuilding there's powerlifting, crossfit, olympic lifting, strongman, etc. I know a male powerlifter who is dating a physique competitor, I know a female crossfitter dating an MMA athlete, and I know a male bodybuilder dating a strongwoman.

And use that as motivation to get in shape! I love lifting weights and being fit, but I fully admit that part of my motivation for working out six days a week is because I am attracted to buff women.

I get what you're saying. There's definitely a vast difference between bodybuilder and Joe schmoe, but even you kind of proved the original statement right. Power lifter, bodybuilders, MMA fighter ... That to me is a case of "potato vs. potahto".

And don't get me wrong. I love working out. I'm active. I tried a powerlifting program for a couple of years and progress was ok. I do sprint training when it's warm out, jump rope 2x week. Eat healthy 80-90% of the time. And like you, a huge part of why adopted that lifestyle and dropped my previous one (drinking, smoking, partying etc) is because I knew I would never land a a fit woman if I didn't change (and it would put me into an early grave, introduce a plethora of health problems, etc.)

But I still look like a regular, kind of fit dude (maybe not right now cause winter/covid shutdowns seriously limit my activity) and I highly doubt that a majority of women who compete would give me the light of day. Not saying all... Cause there's always exceptions. But even going through most of the women here, and their IG, if they have a man, then he's most likely neck deep into that same life style like her.

Sorry for ranting. Maybe these covid lockdowns are getting to me.

Also... Going back to my original topic question: chatting women up at the gym seems like a fairly big no no, especially if they have headphones on. Whereas its so rare to bump into one out in the wild (bar/resto, park, bookstore like someone mentioned above) that when I do see one, I immediately get scramble brain, and forget basic shit lol. By the time I regain my composure it's usually too late.

Mar 03, 2021 - permalink

nubreed000, you seem to be treating these women as if they are strippers. Treat them as normal women, just perhaps unusually attractive, but not superwomen. If they ask something like "How do you like my arms?" that's different. Most likely just want to received a more subtle approach, as many above seem to be saying too.

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